chapter 5

That night, I dreamed of the hysterical years Chen Yingsheng and I had shared.

Back then, I had not yet nursed his stomach trouble away. He was an ambitious young man determined to build a future through his own ability. He worked himself half to death, sacrificing his health for the life he wanted.

So I quit my job and stayed home to care for him.

Chen Yingsheng was deeply moved. Every morning before he left, he declared his love with solemn devotion. He made me endless promises and painted our beautiful future again and again—a magnificent fantasy dangling ahead of me, keeping my head down as I trudged forward.

Eventually his company stabilized, and he became the man everyone called Mr. Chen.

He told me I no longer had to work so hard. He could finally give me happiness.

Unlike so many men who discarded the woman who had endured their lean years once they succeeded, Chen Yingsheng did not abandon me. Materially, he never denied me anything.

There was only one problem.

Whenever I asked to visit his company, he found a reason to avoid it.

When he and his partners first began their business, they had eaten, slept, and worked together in one studio. I cooked all their meals and washed all their clothes. Later, when things improved, Chen Yingsheng told me he had hired an assistant. With someone helping him, I would not have to tire myself anymore.

I heard he paid the assistant an unusually high salary and worried that it would put more pressure on his finances.

He only pulled me into his arms. Stroking my hair, his chin resting on my shoulder, he murmured that he could not bear to see me work so hard.

“Xiao Yun, everything I do is to make you happy. I won’t lose sight of what matters.”

I could not see his face. I heard only the affection in his voice.

Once again, I was soothed.

I became very obedient.

Chen Yingsheng moved home and told me there was no need to visit the company anymore. So I never did.

It was a very, very long time before I discovered that the highly paid assistant he had hired was Qi Chuxue—the girl who had spent our entire school years pursuing him obsessively.

To be fair, Chen Yingsheng had never come from a poor family. His parents were comfortably middle class, and every year he could even use his own gift money to sponsor a student in need.

Qi Chuxue was that student.

With the Chen family’s help, she escaped the mountain village that had trapped her. Then, one brilliant afternoon, she appeared without warning before Chen Yingsheng and me.

“I like you.” Those were the first words she ever said to him. Her eyes blazed with unwavering resolve. “Before I met you, I imagined what you would be like countless times. Now that I’ve seen you, you’re exactly as I pictured.”

By then, Chen Yingsheng had fallen for me at first sight and was pursuing me relentlessly. His first reaction was to distance himself from Qi Chuxue. Perhaps he feared I would misunderstand; though he was usually courteous to women, that day his rejection was especially harsh.

It did nothing to cool her passion.

She continued chasing him with feverish devotion, tireless and unrepentant.

Later, I agreed to date him. She still did not change.

Some of our friends called her a homewrecker to her face, but Qi Chuxue seemed indifferent to everything except Chen Yingsheng. A scrap of his attention delighted her more than any grand reward.

Chen Yingsheng, however, was furious.

He had been honest and sincere then. Once we became a couple, he voluntarily drew firm boundaries with every other woman. Qi Chuxue spent years on his blocked list.

I do not know when something between them began to rot.

I know only that by the time I noticed, Qi Chuxue occupied an important place in his life. She had become his indispensable comrade in business, no longer merely the admirer from school who refused to stop following him.

Meanwhile, he kept me at home, gradually severed from his social world.

His friends said I had excellent taste in men and incredible luck. At just the right moments, they concealed and encouraged the flirtation between Chen Yingsheng and Qi Chuxue.

Whenever I frantically questioned their relationship, those same friends leaped forward to testify to his innocence and my irrationality.

I became isolated, increasingly anxious, increasingly extreme.

I demanded that he fire Qi Chuxue. He said it would be unreasonable.

Then I began threatening to leave him. At first, he coaxed me and held on. Eventually, he lost patience.

After yet another argument, he slammed the door and left. This time, he was the one who ended our relationship.

“Xiao Yun, I’ve spoiled you too much,” he said.

And then: “Chuxue understands me. She helps me. What can you give me? You’re incapable of anything, yet I still keep you by my side. Why can’t you be grateful?”

…