Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The madam led me back to her bedchamber.

Zhou Rong had already returned ahead of me with a maid and changed into clean clothes.
When she saw me, the disgust in her eyes was unmistakable.
“Mother, why did you…”

The madam stroked her head.
“The reason your father and I quarreled was not because of her.”
“Then who was it?”

The madam lowered her gaze.
“You will understand someday.
Be good now, and go back to your own room.”

Zhou Rong glanced at me, still only half-comprehending, and left.

The madam dismissed the servants.
Only the two of us remained in the room.
She pushed all the plates of pastries on the table towards me.

I didn’t want to appear too uncouth.
But the pastries smelled so fragrant, and I was too ravenous to endure it.
The madam waited patiently until I had wolfed everything down, then asked:

“Rong’er didn’t understand, but you do, don’t you?”
I hesitated for a moment, then nodded.

In truth, I had glimpsed the Marquis’s back a few times before.
Whenever the Marquis came to Apricot Blossom Alley, my mother would always send me out early-either to sell embroidery or to lend a hand to the widowed wine seller next door.
When I returned at dusk, I would often find that Mother had already packed the bundles.
I would ask her, “Are we leaving?”

Mother would then stroke my head, then unfold the packed belongings one by one and put them back in their places.
“We’re not leaving. Mother was just tidying things up a bit.
Where else but the capital could Mother give our Ah Nan a stable life?”

When parents love their children, they must plan far-reaching strategies for them.
It is a pity that I never truly understood my mother until the very moment she dashed herself against the stone lion at the gates of the Marquisate Manor.
And since I understood my mother, I naturally understood the madam as well.

I knew that what truly grieved the madam was the Marquis himself-the man who had once promised her a lifelong union, one couple in a lifetime.
Yet no mother can abandon her children who have not yet come of age.
Whether it was the marriage match for her daughter Zhou Rong, or the future official career of her son Zhou Jin,
the assistance the Marquisate Manor could provide far surpassed anything the mercantile Lin family could offer.

My thoughts drew back, and I heard the madam ask me:
“What plans do you have for yourself from now on?”

I performed a deep ceremonial bow.
“I wish to learn commerce from you, Madam.”

She looked somewhat surprised.
“I thought you would ask to learn the things proper for a daughter of the Marquisate Manor alongside Rong’er.
For a woman to pursue commerce makes a prestigious marriage very difficult.
I would like to hear your reasoning.”

I shook my head.
“Madam, far more than a prestigious marriage, what I need is a foothold to stand firm.”

She regarded me for a long moment, a hint of approval in her eyes.
“Very well, then.”

What I did not voice aloud was this:
I knew finding lasting peace and stability within the Marquisate Manor would be difficult.
If one day in the future, I ever wished to leave the Marquisate Manor,
the madam would be my one and only way out.