Chapter 3

Chi Zhen went off to have his eyes treated.

I devoted myself to cultivation.

When I got tired, I covered the left side of my face and cosplayed as the White Wuchang, then covered the right side and cosplayed as the Black Wuchang.

Then I went to the mortal world to frighten thugs and scoundrels.

One day, I ran into the real thing.

The Black Wuchang and I stared at each other.

He rubbed his eyes and nudged the White Wuchang beside him. “Fuck. Am I seeing a ghost?”

The White Wuchang was silent for a moment. “Never thought I’d hear those words coming out of our mouths.”

After that, I got to know the pair of them quite well.

Whenever they wanted time off, they asked me to dress up as them and cover their shifts.

I was going to refuse.

But they said, “Before, you were working without a license. If you accidentally scared someone to death, you’d be held responsible.”

“Work for us, though, and scaring people becomes perfectly legitimate. Scare them to death, even better. Saves you the trouble of dragging their souls out.”

“What could be more fun?”

Seeing me hesitate, they sighed. “Your Highness, we only wanted to share this pleasure with you because we feel so close to you. Other people couldn’t get this job if they tried.”

After they’d put it like that, how could I let them down?!

People who felt close to me were rare enough.

Although I did keep feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

Back in the Ninth Heaven, I told Mother about it.

“Now you and Father will never have to worry about me finding a job.”

Mother looked at me and sighed. Then sighed again.

“Yaoyao, has it occurred to you that jobs sometimes come with wages?”

I fell silent.

Fuck. They’d got me working for free?!

Shangqing had given me a jade token. By expending a little spiritual energy, I could exchange a few words with him.

Provided he had time to answer.

But every time I called him,

after a brief silence, a gentle voice always answered from the other end. “I’m here.”

Apparently he had plenty of free time.

As the dragon clan’s imperial princess, I had to cultivate hard, handle clan affairs, and spend what little free time remained working part-time in the underworld.

Yet there he was, leader of the Xuanwu clan, taking life easy!

Oh, well. With a face like that, why shouldn’t he coast a little?

But one day, when I called, the young Daoist attendant who was always at his side suddenly cut in. “Your Highness, do you really have that much time on your hands?”

I’d been waiting ages for this opening. “No. But for someone I like, I always have time.”

I’d kept that line in mind for one thousand three hundred and fifty-four years. At last, a chance to use it.

Ji Yao, you smooth operator.

The boy’s voice came back coldly. “Well, our lord doesn’t.”

“Our lord is very busy!”

Uh.

May you never get through three dishes at a dinner table in your next life, you little brat.

“Qianji. Enough.”

Shangqing’s voice was gentle, but firm. The boy immediately fell quiet.

He laughed softly. “Don’t mind him, Your Highness.”

After a moment, I asked, “Then why do you always answer me?”

“Good timing,” was all Shangqing said.

The boy’s voice piped up timidly. “What good timing? He’s afraid you’ve run into trouble. Whenever he hears your call, he puts down whatever he’s doing.”

“Qianji, have you refined today’s medicine? Go on.”

The silence lasted so long I began to wonder if anyone was still there. At last, Shangqing said slowly, “A healer cares as a parent would. Please don’t feel you owe me anything, Your Highness.”

As a parent…?

Ha. I wanted to be your wife, and you wanted to be my father…?

I was done with love.