Chapter 1
“Fuck, Li Yu, don’t you fucking scare me!”
My pupils contracted and my heart raced. I’d called Li Yu, but that sound couldn’t mean anything good.
Sure, the lunatic was always trying to stick something in me, but in a situation like this, I figured he was the only one who could save me!
Then I heard the voice of the other lunatic who wanted to stick something in me: Invincible Darling, otherwise known as “Genius.”
“Heh-heh, the Scorpion Demon called you, huh?”
“What a greedy little kitty…”
“Smelled the food and called straightaway…”
I was lost. What the hell was happening?
A few more shrill crow cries followed.
I hurriedly asked, “Are you two all right?”
Li Yu finally spoke.
“We’re fine. It’s raining crows, so we’re roasting some. Want a bite?”
I fucking…
Fine. Idiots didn’t worry. Nothing frightening stayed frightening around those two.
I heard Invincible Darling swearing into the phone.
“Why the fuck is there an eyeball inside this crow? That’s disgusting.”
I seized on that immediately.
“Stop fucking eating! A crow spat out an eyeball here, too.”
“This isn’t good. It’s some freaky shit, understand?”
Li Yu paused.
“What’s wrong with an eyeball? Throw it away. Tastes like a little roast chicken…”
I was gritting my teeth, trying to work out what to say to these two idiots, when a cold draft swept in.
I turned. My soul nearly left my body.
My obsessive performer, Bashful Boy, had opened the window. Clothes hanger in hand, he was trying to hook a couple of dead crows off the sill.
I rushed over, grabbed his hoodie, and hauled him back.
He flailed at me.
“Let go, you lousy manager!”
“My Gourd Bro’s eating roast crow. I want some, too.”
He blushed.
“Heh-heh-heh. If we eat the same thing, does that count as an indirect kiss?”
I wanted to smack him twice across the face.
“Kiss my ass!”
Honestly, Invincible Darling was like a signal jammer. The second he showed up, Bashful Boy’s brain stopped working!
I shut the window and suddenly realized this didn’t feel quite so terrifying anymore.
Those three great idiots could make anything scary seem like no big deal.
I went back to the call.
“Seriously, Li Yu. Don’t eat it.”
“The other big idiot’s already eaten some. Fine.”
“Who knows if these things have bird flu? You’ll eat yourself to death.”
“I’m telling you, if you die, you won’t get to see me anymore.”
Only then did Li Yu say, “Oh.”
Invincible Darling muttered, “If you’re not eating any, neither am I.”
I turned to Bashful Boy, who was still trying to open the window.
“Hear that? The big idiot’s stopped eating.”
Bashful Boy gave up on the window, too.
“Fine, then. The little idiot won’t eat any, either.”
Worrying about these idiots was going to be the death of me.
I stood by the window and looked outside. The entire street was deserted.
It was eleven at night, but there should at least have been some taxis and drunks around.
Instead, the street was deathly quiet. Every shop was lit, yet there wasn’t a soul in sight.
I asked into the phone, “Is there anyone outside where you are?”
Li Yu answered without hesitation.
“Nope. There’s nobody in the whole psychiatric hospital except us.”
“How else could we sneak outside to roast crows?”
“Ow, fuck!”
I asked quickly, “What happened?”
Li Yu lowered his voice.
“When I stood up… a crow poked me in the butt…”
I fucking…
Then it hit me. These crows diving out of the sky were practically bullets.
If one hit your ass, wouldn’t it go straight in?
Yet he was clearly fine…
A twenty-four-karat titanium ass?
Suddenly, a shout came from the other end.
“Run, roomie! The crow rain’s getting heavier! It’ll poke holes in our butts!”
I sighed. Fine. Fortune favored fools. They’d probably be all right.
Then I froze. What the fuck did he mean, the crow rain was getting heavier?
I looked up. A solid black mass had blotted out even the moon.
Crow after crow came down like diving fighter jets, straight at our windows.
The battering and cracking sent me stumbling backward.
Without Invincible Darling’s voice to distract him, Bashful Boy had come to his senses, too. He went straight under the bed.
The crow rain grew heavier. Soon I heard a sharp crack!
A fissure ran across the glass. My heart leaped into my throat.
This was double-layer laminated glass. Had the crows really smashed it hard enough to crack it?
Once the first fissure appeared, more and more cracks followed.
I stared at the glass, already turning into a spiderweb, and yelled, “Run!”