Chapter 5

Chu Huaizhi froze.

Clearly, he hadn’t expected my sudden outburst.

His lips moved. “I’ve never doubted you.”

Then he drew me into his arms again, gently stroking my back as he asked with some uncertainty,

“Ah Ying, is there truly a place for me in your heart?”

He was like a neglected child, hurt and helpless.

“Can’t you feel it?” I asked.

He smiled faintly, as though discussing the most ordinary thing in the world. “Since I grew old enough to tell right from wrong, I’ve known little sincerity. Plenty of false flattery, though.

“From parents, relatives, and friends down to the household servants, everyone is the same. So… how much of your kindness is real, Ah Ying, and how much is pretense?”

Chu Huaizhi’s gentle voice was like a thin blade coated in honey.

It sent a chill down my spine.

I had no idea how to handle this.

Before I could answer,

he laughed softly and rescued me in a wonderfully casual tone. “Don’t be nervous.

“I’ve never doubted your sincerity.”

As a breeze stirred around us, he took my hand and led me inside.

His words and behavior only strengthened my suspicions.

The maid who had accused me was a trusted servant of the family’s second branch, which had always been at odds with the first.

Though Chu Huaizhi was chronically ill and bedridden, they still considered him a thorn in their side.

He had spoken up for me simply to have the head of the family remove a threat for him.

And why had the maid happened to catch me meeting the physician?

Because the physician was another person he wanted gone.

But why target a man so devoted to treating him?

Because this sickly gentleman who kept saying, “If you like him, it isn’t out of the question,” would never tolerate anything that worked against his interests.

The emperor was foolish and cruel, corrupt ministers held sway, and the Hu invaders seized their chance to attack.

Soldiers went from house to house conscripting men for war. Children sang rhymes in the lanes that filled everyone who heard them with dread.

But none of this had much to do with the bedridden Chu Huaizhi.

He lay reading on his couch as always.

Flowers bloomed and withered while he remained cut off from the world.

He stayed that way until the Hu forces stormed the capital and drove the imperial family south.

The officials’ households had already packed their valuables and fled south in carriages.

We were no exception.

The journey was exhausting. Since the head of the family cared little for Chu Huaizhi, the servants naturally made no effort to look after him.

Our carriage brought up the rear of the long procession.

Sometimes I overheard their gossip.

“What was the master thinking, bringing an invalid along? He’s only slowing us all down.”

“Keep your voice down. Do you want to lose your head if he hears you?”

“And what can he do even if he does? Don’t worry. This journey is more than his body can take. He might drop dead on the road any day now.”

Furious, I started to get up and go outside to reprimand them.

Chu Huaizhi caught my wrist.

His fingers were pale and icy, their chill seeping into my skin.

“They’ve gone too far! Whatever else you are, you’re still their master.” I couldn’t contain my anger.

Used to such treatment, he shook his head gently. “Don’t act rashly.”

He lowered his eyes, desolation filling them.

“They aren’t entirely wrong.”

After years tormented by illness, he too was waiting for the day he died.

I tried to comfort him. “That isn’t necessarily true.

“You might outlive them all.”