Chapter 4
After that, my husband never mentioned the matter to Pei Shuyuan again.
He set his sights on Shen Zhiyan.
After discovering that Shen Zhiyan was unmarried and had always conducted himself chastely,
my husband came to ask my opinion.
What objection could I possibly have to a handsome man with a clean private life?
But I couldn’t possibly say that.
“Whatever you think best, husband.”
He was both touched and guilty. “For the sake of our future, Yunniang, I’m putting you through so much.”
Having failed once, he didn’t simply seize the man this time.
First, he made friends with Shen Zhiyan: taking him out drinking, giving him brushes, ink, paper, and an inkstone. For several days running, the two of them were always out.
That left Pei Shuyuan and me at home.
Whenever he saw me, he still greeted me awkwardly and hurried away.
Every time I watched him go, I felt a little regretful.
Yet for some reason, we started running into each other more often.
I was embroidering a handkerchief in the pavilion beside the rockery in the back garden.
I looked up, and there was Pei Shuyuan, walking past with a book in his hand, reading as he went.
I was cutting flowers in the back garden to put in a vase.
I looked up, and there was Pei Shuyuan, walking past with a book in his hand, reading as he went.
I was lounging in a rocking chair beneath the old tree, enjoying an illustrated storybook.
I looked up, and there was Pei Shuyuan, walking past with a book in his hand, reading as he went.
He was always walking past.
With my husband away, I needed to avoid any appearance of impropriety.
Unless he greeted me first, I pretended not to notice him.
A few days later, my husband and Shen Zhiyan were so close that they had begun calling each other brothers.
They looked more like brothers than my husband and Pei Shuyuan did.
That evening, my husband asked me to join them for dinner.
In the countryside, men and women often ate at the same table.
I hadn’t joined them before simply because we didn’t know each other well.
My husband said Shen Zhiyan was looking for a house and intended to move out in a few days. We needed to seize our chance.
“My darling, Brother Shen is practically family. There’s no need for anyone to stand on ceremony.”
Shen Zhiyan said,
“I’ve imposed on you and your wife, Brother Lu. I’ll rent a place as soon as I can in the next few days. Thank you both for your hospitality.”
My husband poured him some wine.
“Any brother of Shuyuan’s is a brother of mine. It’s only another pair of chopsticks at the table. If you ask me, don’t bother renting a house. We have plenty of room.”
My husband and Shen Zhiyan chatted cheerfully.
As they talked, my husband steered the conversation around.
“Have you heard? In the village beyond the next village, there’s a temple whose child-granting bodhisattva is supposed to be wonderfully effective. Lots of women from that village who couldn’t conceive went there to pray.”
“And guess what happened?”
Shen Zhiyan obligingly asked, “They all got their wish?”
“Every last one of them became pregnant. Everyone said the bodhisattva worked wonders.”
My husband went on, “Only later did they find out. It was no temple. It was a den of depravity.”
Shen Zhiyan looked interested. “How so?”
“It came out quite by chance. One woman in the village hadn’t conceived for three years. After a few visits to the temple, she was expecting.”
“Then it sounds very effective,” Shen Zhiyan said. “What has that to do with depravity?”
“The trouble was, her husband had been away for three months, and she was two months pregnant. Her husband’s family beat her so badly she was hardly recognizable, demanding to know which man she’d been with. She kept insisting she was innocent. Eventually, she told them that whenever she went to pray for a child, after making an offering, a young novice would lead her to the rear courtyard. She’d drink the holy water they gave her, become very dazed, and have to rest for some time before her head cleared.”
“The monks had been giving the women a sleeping drug disguised as holy water. Once they were unconscious, they secretly went about ‘granting’ them children.”
My husband sighed.
“The temple was shut down, but many women had gone there. Several in the village were cast out by their husbands. I heard some couldn’t bear the disgrace and drowned themselves in the river.”
I put down my chopsticks. “They were victims too,” I said sadly. “Those poor women.”
“Exactly,” said my husband. “But it also shows that when a couple can’t have a child, it isn’t necessarily the woman’s fault.”
Pei Shuyuan, who had been eating quietly, gave us several silent looks as he listened.
My husband ignored him.
He addressed Shen Zhiyan directly.
“Tell me, Brother Shen, where’s the justice in this world? A woman can’t have a child, and people drown her in gossip. A man can’t have a child, and they laugh him to death. And for a childless couple, old age holds no end of hardship and loneliness.”
He downed another cup of wine, then slurred, “If I couldn’t father a child, I’d find a man I knew well to do it for us. Better that than…”
Then he slumped over the table, pretending to be drunk.
I stood up in righteous indignation.
“Husband, what are you saying? We’re a respectable family. How could we possibly have another man father a child for us? Don’t talk drunken nonsense and make Master Shen laugh at us.”
Not daring to look at Shen Zhiyan’s expression, I helped my husband up to take him back to our room.
Pei Shuyuan watched us all the way, his gaze unreadable.