Chapter 1
Day twelve of the zombie outbreak.
Communications were down. The water and power were out. The city had ground to a halt.
I heaved a sigh at my pothos, stripped bare of leaves.
I’d eaten everything in the apartment, edible or otherwise. I’d even boiled the corn kernels from the stuffing of my pillow into porridge.
But at last, I’d run out of everything.
At this rate, it was only a matter of time before I starved to death at home.
If you can’t beat them, join them!
My gaze hardened with resolve.
I promptly removed the peephole from my front door—and stuck a finger through the hole.
Dear esteemed zombies, please bite gently.
I was like an old man fishing.
After two agonizing hours, the bait was still completely intact.
I lost my temper.
Yanking the door open, I bellowed into the hall.
“Where the hell is everyone? Come bite me!”
Silence answered me.
What was going on? Had the zombies disappeared?
I worked up my courage and stepped outside.
I turned my head. Behind the door was a handsome face, its skin bluish-white.
The handsome guy—no, the handsome zombie—stared straight at me with a strange smile, as though he’d been waiting all along for me to step outside.
Sneaky bastard.
“Um… could you bite gently? I’m really bad with pain.”
His smile didn’t change.
I was about to offer him my arm when someone shoved me aside.
“Girl, let me go first. My boyfriend turned. I need to hurry up and join him.”
I gaped. People were fighting over this, too?
Then I took a closer look.
Oh. Her. That explained it.
My neighbor across the hall attempted to die for love an average of three times a month, driving everyone around her up the wall. A certified hopeless romantic.
“Sure. After you.”
I stepped back.
And watched her rush up to the zombie.
He crushed her skull in one bite. Blood sprayed everywhere.
I had no words.
She was fucking dead, wasn’t she? Could she even turn into a zombie now?
What followed was a memory I would rather not remember whenever it came back to me.
So Plants vs. Zombies was a fucking documentary.
These things really did eat your brains!
I wanted to run, but my feet felt nailed to the floor.
The handsome zombie licked the blood from his lips, dropped what remained of the woman’s body, and turned his cold, empty gaze on me.
I trembled with terror.
“Um… buddy, I just remembered I’ve got something to do at home. How about… how about another time?”
He started toward me.
“Uh, I’ll eat plenty of walnuts to fatten up my brain, then come back. Sound good?”
He kept coming.
“…Fine. Just make it quick. Don’t let it hurt too much.”
God, what a shitshow.
I hadn’t managed to become a zombie. I was about to become a corpse instead.
Giving up, I shut my eyes.
But the pain I expected never came.
When I opened my eyes, the zombie was standing in front of me with an odd expression.
His clouded gray eyes traveled over me from head to toe. A faint blush actually spread across his bluish-white face.
I was baffled.
“Buddy, did you fill up on her?”
He said nothing. His blush deepened.
His gaze began to dart about, looking everywhere except at me.
What the hell? Was there something toxic in that girl’s brain?
If ever there was a time to run, this was it!
I lunged for my door, but the zombie was faster. He caught my wrist.
I screamed, at the end of my rope.
“What the hell do you—” The rest stuck in my throat.
Stiffly, I looked down.
Two strong arms were locked around my waist.
His face was buried against my neck. The icy touch made every hair on my body stand up.
Then it got even worse.
Something soft and wet slid slowly over my skin.
As though he were testing which bit of flesh would be easiest to bite, before sinking his sharp teeth through my skin and turning me into one of his kind.
That was, admittedly, the whole reason I’d come outside today.
But with the moment upon me, I panicked anyway.
“This fucking world… I’ve never even been in love, and now I’m going to turn into something that’s neither human nor ghost.”
“Get your filthy mouth off me. You’re disgusting…”
I cried and cursed, seething with enough resentment to feed ten Evil Sword Immortals.
The culprit panicked, too.
He moved in front of me and clumsily tried to wipe my tears, his face full of concern and confusion.
His lips worked soundlessly before a few indistinct syllables emerged.
“Don’t… don’t cry.”
This thing could talk?!
One thought flashed through my mind: humanity was screwed.