Chapter 5

Chapter 5

In my previous life, because we were so deeply in love, I abandoned my plans to start working after finishing my master’s degree and chose to pursue a PhD alongside him.

But I was never really the academic type.

As a result, after returning to China, my lack of practical experience meant I was overqualified for entry-level roles but underqualified for senior ones. I hit a wall everywhere I turned.

By the time I finally landed a job I was satisfied with, I had barely been working a few days before our child fell ill.

Because of that, I always carried a sense of resentment, feeling like my ambitions had been stifled.

So, after being reborn, I decided to follow my own heart’s plan: I would enter the legal profession as a lawyer immediately after my master’s.

However, the reality wasn’t as beautiful as I had imagined.

The soul-crushing, tedious desk work, the relentless pace, and the never-ending competition for survival…

A thought suddenly occurred to me:

Is this really my dream?

In my previous life, I had always firmly believed that as long as I didn’t get married, have children, or return to domestic life, I would surely become a successful lawyer.

But when fate gave me the chance to choose again, I fell into a different kind of misery.

Eventually, I came to understand:

It was just a job, and I had over-idealized it in my desperation to escape the pain of family life.

Once I no longer had a family, I began to suffer because of my work.

But life doesn’t offer infinite restarts. I couldn’t walk every single path just to leisurely pick the optimal route.

So, I made a decisive move: I quit my job and went back for my PhD to recalibrate my future path.

Chen Ming from my previous life had given me a lot of inspiration, and there was no reason not to borrow from his ready-made experience.

Thus, when I pursued my doctorate, I chose a research direction focused on Artificial Intelligence Intellectual Property.

It was cutting-edge and very niche, but it was clearly the trend of the future.

After returning to China, I naturally joined Zhongda.

It seemed as though there was a point of intersection in Chen Ming’s and my lives that only we could see.

Yet, even after ten years, Yang Ru remained baffled by our inexplicable breakup.

Every time he saw me, he would nag about it:

“I really don’t get you two. Back then, you were practically joined at the hip, and then-poof-you just stopped dating. Zhang Yue, even though I like you well enough, given the current situation, I honestly wish you and Chen Ming were celebrating a hundred years of bliss and popping out kids already!

“Ideally, I’d be the godfather so Chen Ming could give me a leg up. Don’t blame me for putting profit before friendship. Zhongda needs to pivot right now; otherwise, in a few years, we’ll all be out on the streets!”

It was late now. I looked at the dreamlike neon lights outside the car window and gave a bitter smile.

“He and I actually did have a child once.”

The car continued to drive steadily forward.

Yang Ru gripped the steering wheel and clicked his tongue.

“I knew it. You were always running to the hospital during our junior year. So you were getting an abortion. That Chen Ming really is a piece of work!”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

With the slight buzz of the alcohol, I spoke of the memories buried deep in my heart for the first time:

“In my previous life, we had a son. When he was born, he was only six pounds and three ounces. By the time he was a hundred days old, he weighed eighteen pounds. My arms would get sore just holding him for a little while. His eyes looked exactly like Chen Ming’s, but his personality was like mine-always babbling, incredibly cute.

“But later, when he was two, he was diagnosed with autism. The condition progressed rapidly. From the age of three, he never spoke again; he could only cry and scream. To some extent, both Chen Ming’s and my lives were ruined by him.

“Then, when the child was five, he almost got lost. We were arguing in the car, both of us feeling like we’d rather die together. Unexpectedly, God was very efficient-we had a car accident right then and there.”

The car’s speed dropped abruptly. Yang Ru looked like he wanted to climb onto the steering wheel to drive.

He was from Tianjin, and his natural comedic instinct was that of a ‘straight man’ in a cross-talk routine.

Consequently, instead of calling me crazy, he asked smoothly, “So, in that previous life, what was my ending?”

I turned to look at him, smiling playfully.

“In the previous life, a week before our accident, you suddenly asked me out to dinner.”

He shot me a look, his expression exaggerated.

“Huh? Asked… asked you to dinner? Were we having an affair? Damn, no wonder Chen Ming hates me so much!”

I shrugged.

“It wasn’t that scandalous. You just told me that you planned to officially come out on your thirty-seventh birthday. You were afraid Chen Ming would kill you, so you wanted me to talk him down in advance.”

The car suddenly swerved in an S-curve.

Yang Ru fought to steady the wheel while shouting, “Damn! How can you say that like it’s the truth? You’d better tell me I was the top!”

I smiled but said nothing.

In the previous life, Yang Ru had lived for over thirty years before finally facing his sexual orientation.

At the time, both he and Chen Ming were partners at Zhongda, sharing the risks of the firm. Therefore, after careful consideration, he had chosen to have me give Chen Ming a heads-up.

Unfortunately, before I even had the chance to mention it to Chen Ming, we were in the crash.