Chapter 1
Shen Chizhou’s expression softened.
He lowered his eyes and brushed the damp hair from my forehead. “Bearing me a daughter has been hard on you.”
“The child may be entered into the Marquis of Zhenbei’s family register, but I will let you take her as your goddaughter. She can come to the palace often and keep you company.”
“When she comes of age, I will find her an excellent husband and ensure that she lives in comfort all her life.”
I agreed obediently and let him carry my daughter away.
The wet nurse and imperial physicians entered a short while later to offer their congratulations.
“Congratulations, Your Majesty. The Empress has given birth to a prince!”
The consorts and concubines crowded in as well, all eager to see the little prince. After half a day of commotion, the palace finally fell silent.
I slept for a while. When I woke, I sat without a word for a very long time.
Then Luzhu lifted the curtain and came in. She stopped short in shock.
“Your Majesty, didn’t you give birth to a princess? Where did this—”
“He is the Marchioness of Zhenbei’s child.”
I looked at the baby boy’s resemblance to Shen Chizhou and curled my lips in scorn.
All under heaven praised the new emperor for his benevolence and filial devotion. The Empress Dowager loved poetry, so he often summoned the learned Marchioness of Zhenbei to the palace to keep her company.
Yet how many people knew what happened in the side chamber of the Hall of Mental Cultivation, where red candles flickered and heat rolled through the night?
The sovereign had stolen his subject’s wife. Their affair had been going on for a long time.
Luzhu had served me for years and was quick-witted. She understood at once, her face flushing with anger and panic.
“The princess is your own flesh and blood! How could you let them take her?”
“Worse still, that wretch’s bastard will now be the legitimate eldest prince!”
“Your Majesty, how could you possibly consent to this?”
I looked at her with faint amusement. After a while, I shook my head.
“You have been with me for so long, Luzhu. Does it matter whether I consent?”
It did not.
From beginning to end, Shen Chizhou had never loved me. Song Wan was the treasure of his heart.
Unfortunately for them, the late emperor had betrothed Song Wan to the Marquis of Zhenbei. Then, swayed by the Noble Consort’s pillow talk, he had granted me to Shen Chizhou as his princess consort.
Two lovers had been torn apart.
As crown prince, Shen Chizhou had stood above every man but one, yet even he could not possess the woman he loved. The moment he ascended the throne and held supreme power, he broke convention to confer upon her the title of a first-rank noble lady.
One tear from Song Wan was enough to make him cancel my investiture as empress on the pretext of saving court expenses.
Behind closed doors, he feared that she might suffer in the Marquis of Zhenbei’s household, so he all but placed half the imperial treasury in her hands.
When the titled ladies of the realm first entered the palace after the new emperor’s accession, Song Wan appeared in a golden phoenix robe. The pearl hairpin in her coiffure was the very one that should have adorned my phoenix crown.
Her presumption went too far.
Had it happened in private, I could have pretended not to see. But before all the noblewomen of the court, she had slapped me squarely across the face.
I offered her a mild rebuke.
In full view of everyone, she walked straight up to me and tilted her pale neck, revealing the suggestive red marks upon it.
I lowered my gaze. “You and the marquis appear to be very affectionate.”
“Your Majesty misunderstands. His Lordship did not leave these marks.”
She smiled sweetly, quiet triumph gleaming at the corners of her alluring eyes.
“His Majesty has not been sleeping well of late. Affairs of state must be exhausting him. I shall have to trouble Your Majesty to take better care of him.”
I stared at her in icy silence.
That was the only time I ever humiliated Song Wan in public.
The price was severe.
Shen Chizhou regarded me with a cold, remote expression.
“I know you did nothing wrong.”
“But of all the things you should never have done, you should never have made Wan unhappy. She cried so bitterly that day. I could not bear to see her suffer.”
An imperial edict confined me to my palace for six months.
At someone’s unspoken command, the Imperial Household Department withheld my allowance. I was given coarse tea and plain rice; even the charcoal was the inferior kind reserved for servants.
My father, brothers, and clansmen at court were reprimanded by Shen Chizhou. The entire family lived in dread.
One letter from home after another turned to ash in the choking smoke of the brazier.
Curled around my knees, I finally understood.
A loving marriage was one of life’s greatest blessings.
I had simply never been blessed with that kind of luck.
My confinement ended on the eve of the New Year. Snow had fallen the night before.
Dressed in plain white, I knelt outside the Hall of Mental Cultivation in an attitude of repentance. Only this could appease Shen Chizhou’s anger.
A thin skin of ice covered the flagstones. It cut into my bones like a blade.
Suddenly, a hand warmer appeared before me.
Song Wan stood there in a fox-fur cloak and jeweled forehead band, her complexion rosy.
“It is terribly cold, Your Majesty. Warm your hands before you freeze.”
She paused, bent down, and whispered, “You are not like me, after all. I have someone to cherish me and someone to love me.”