Chapter 1

The day Li Yi brought Liu Yan to see me, he found me watering the flowers.

“I intend to take Yan’er as a secondary wife,” he said. “Go and speak to Mother on my behalf.”

My hand jerked, splashing water over the edge of the pot. I turned to him. “Are you certain?”

Li Yi and Liu Yan looked at each other, their eyes brimming with tenderness.

“I’m sorry, Sister,” Liu Yan said. “The heir saved my life, and I—”

“Wasn’t I the one who saved you?” I cut in.

Years ago, when Li Yi and I had been banished to the outskirts of the capital, we found her dressed in a camisole that barely covered her, with a head of dyed yellow hair. The soldiers nearly beat her to death as a demon.

I was the one who gave her clothes, found her a wig, and took her in. I was the one who helped her find a place in this era.

Liu Yan frowned. “You only happened to find me. The clothes and wig, the roof over my head, everything I ate and drank—it was all paid for with the heir’s money. Besides, you’re merely a woman of the inner household. How could you have taken me in without his permission?”

So after enough creative rounding, Li Yi had somehow become her savior.

What dazzling logic.

I had no desire to argue with her. I looked at Li Yi instead. “Your mind is made up?”

His gaze wavered, but one glance at Liu Yan hardened his resolve.

“Yan’er has humbled herself enough to accept the position of a concubine. How could I fail her now?”

I would be lying if I said the words did not hurt.

I lowered my eyes. “Let me think.”

Nothing could wake me faster than a husband announcing he meant to take another woman. It was colder than a basin of winter water thrown over my head.

I needed to think very carefully about whether I still wanted this sorry excuse for a man.

Li Yi was the heir to the Prince of Qi, but he had been sickly from childhood. He could not compare with his strong, imposing younger brother, Li Lin. Their father was a military prince and naturally favored the second son who resembled him.

Li Yi and I had married young and weathered hardship side by side. When I first entered the household, his younger brother had been arrogant and overbearing, even saying behind his back that Li Yi might not live much longer.

At our lowest point, Li Lin framed him, and the prince drove us out to the countryside. Li Yi fell gravely ill there and nearly died. I prepared medicinal meals for him every day, nursing him with painstaking care until I pulled him back from the brink.

Adversity reveals the heart. Or so I had believed. Li Yi once held my hand and swore that I would be the only woman in his life.

That night, I sat alone beside a candle for a long time.

I did love him.

I had once thought him gentle, modest, and generous of spirit. Faced with such a forceful younger brother, he had regained his standing through civil governance and a reputation for benevolence. I believed we were of one mind: he attended to affairs outside, while I managed the household and treated everyone around us with kindness.

After Liu Yan came to live with me, she secretly mocked me for being a self-sacrificing saint.

It turned out that what I believed was only that—what I believed.

While I was still thinking, Li Yi came in with our six-year-old son, Ke’er.

“Mother, please let Aunt Liu join our household,” Ke’er said. “I want to be with her forever.”

I stared at Li Yi in disbelief. “How could you teach our son to say such a thing?”

“Father didn’t teach me,” Ke’er said. “I thought of it myself.”

After a moment of silence, I asked, “Ke’er, if you had to choose between your mother and Aunt Liu, whom would you choose?”

He frowned. “Mother, stop making trouble. You can’t help Father with anything.”

I studied him. He was my son, after all. I had taught him well enough to make him remarkably bold.

He met my gaze. “Aunt Liu improved the fire lance and made a wooden glider that flies by itself. Grandfather praised Father because of her. Father is the heir. He needs a woman like that beside him. But you, Mother…”

By then, my anger had faded. I simply wanted to know where, in my son’s eyes, I had failed him.

“You don’t know how to do anything,” he continued. “You only make soup, tend the garden, and manage the house. Aunt Liu offered to teach you useful things, but you refused to learn.”

So that was it.

I raised my eyes to Li Yi. “Do you think the same?”

Guilt flickered over his face, and he looked away. “Since Ke’er likes Lady Liu, you should let her enter the household.”

“Very well,” I said wearily. “Tomorrow, I will request an audience with the Princess Consort.”

Father and son both heaved sighs of relief.

Perhaps Ke’er wanted to console me, because he came closer and said, “Mother, a son does not despise his mother for being ugly—”

I rose at once and stepped back before he could touch me.

“I’m tired. You may go.”

Hurt crossed his small face. Li Yi took him away.

The next morning, I prepared a medicinal soup to replenish blood and qi and brought it to my mother-in-law.

“Mother,” I said, “I want a divorce.”

The Princess Consort of Qi stared at me. “Has the heir wronged you?”

“He broke his promise.”

Her brow furrowed. “Wait here. I’ll go beat some sense into him—”

“There is no need. He looks down on me because all I can do is make soup, tend gardens, and run a household.” Weariness seeped into my voice.

What Li Yi never understood was that he had regained his parents’ favor because his mother and I were dear friends. Liu Yan called me a saint behind my back, but sincerity could indeed be repaid with sincerity.

The Princess Consort flew into a rage. “Absurd! Without you managing the household, how could the prince campaign across the realm? How could Li Yi attend to government affairs without worry? And without your medicinal cooking, would my headaches ever have improved?”

“I’ve taught Bizhu how to prepare your meals. She will take care of you from now on.”

Her voice dropped. “Is there truly no chance of mending this?”

I lowered my eyes and sighed. “People who follow different paths cannot build a life together. I don’t want this man anymore. As for Ke’er…”

“Do you want to take him with you?” she asked immediately.

I choked on my answer.

Even in an ordinary family, a divorced woman could not take her children, much less a child of princely blood. Then again, the Princess Consort had never cared much for convention. She might truly have found a way.

“No. Looking at him only pains me now. I ask only that you watch over him. As for Li Yi, I finally see that he is not fit for great responsibility. I was wrong about him.”

I had polished him into something finer in my own mind.

He was not broad-minded. He did not even understand that seeking military favor through Liu Yan’s clever little inventions meant pitting his greatest weakness against Li Lin’s greatest strength. His younger brother was a natural warrior who had devoted his life to martial skill.

Once I understood that, I could no longer share a life with him.

The Princess Consort understood. But grief still filled her face.

“That useless boy,” she muttered. “If only I’d married you to my second son instead! Then I wouldn’t have to lose my favorite daughter-in-law.”