Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A month later, a letter arrived from Baling.

After Madam read it, she fainted again on the spot.

Cui Jiu ran out to fetch a doctor, while I stayed by the stove, keeping a pot of millet porridge warm all night for fear Madam might want something to eat when she woke.

Only after hearing it from the steward did I learn that the letter had not been sent by Master. It had been written by Uncle Liu, who was at his side.

The letter said that Master had fallen ill on the road to Baling. They had rested for two days along the way, but he had not gotten any better. Worried that he would miss the deadline to take up his post, Master had forced himself to continue the journey.

Unexpectedly, as soon as he reached Baling, he collapsed. By the day the letter was sent, Master had already been coughing so badly he could not get out of bed.

The next day, when Madam woke, she made up her mind to go to Baling and stay by Master’s side.

No matter how the steward tried to persuade her, he could not talk her out of it. In the end, the commotion reached the Eldest Young Master.

After being at the Wei Family for so long, this was the first time I had properly seen the Eldest Young Master.

The last time, when he had been carried back lying on a wooden plank, I had only glimpsed from afar a bloodied, mangled back. For the month after that, he had remained in his own room to recover from his injuries and had not stepped out once.

Now the Eldest Young Master wore a white brocade robe and sat in a wheelchair, pushed by Jianru, as he entered Madam’s courtyard.

Before, I had heard Cui Jiu talk many times about how glorious and impressive the Eldest Young Master had once been, but Cui Jiu had never told me what he looked like.

Now that I saw him, I almost could not come back to myself.

The Eldest Young Master was truly, terribly beautiful.

His skin was pale, and so were his lips. Dressed all in white, seated there like that, he looked like a jade-carved bodhisattva I had once seen in a temple during the New Year.

The Eldest Young Master had been in Madam’s courtyard for less than fifteen minutes when Sister Zhu’er came out and took away the bowl of porridge I was holding.

Madam was willing to eat.

While she was eating, Cui Jiu went out again. This time, the Eldest Young Master had sent him. He was to take Uncle Liu’s letter to Baoji Hall and ask the doctor to prescribe medicine according to the symptoms written in the letter. He was also to buy some of the famous lifesaving pills from the capital, the sort used to cling to a last thread of life.

The Eldest Young Master’s meaning was clear: since there was no stopping Madam, and since she insisted on going no matter what, it would be better to make every preparation before she left.

For Madam to travel all the way to Baling, she would need people at her side. Sister Zhu’er naturally had to go. The steward had seen much of the world and was experienced and shrewd, so the Eldest Young Master assigned him to Madam as well. In the end, he also named Cui Jiu, who was in the prime of his strength.

At first, Madam did not want Cui Jiu. The Eldest Young Master himself was injured, and the household was already in such a state. With her traveling so far to Baling, she truly did not need so many people with her. Besides, Uncle Liu was still in Baling, and he was also an old servant of the family whose background everyone knew well.

But the Eldest Young Master merely lifted his brows slightly, and Madam said no more.

I had been at the Wei Family for over a month, and the people in the residence had dwindled again and again. I returned to the kitchen to light the fire and cook the farewell meal for Madam. The smoke stung my eyes, and I choked until I kept coughing. I also felt a faint ache in my lower back.

Madam was gentle and always spoke to me softly.

Cui Jiu was straightforward and easygoing, and whenever he had time, he would help me chop firewood.

The steward and Sister Zhu’er were both very good people as well.

As for Baling, just hearing those two syllables was enough to know it was far away.

To go so far to Baling, the fastest way was by water.

Traveling by water meant taking a boat. I did not know whether Madam and the others would get seasick, so with tears in my eyes, I found some candied fruit and wrapped it in waterproof oiled paper.

The next day, just as the sky began to brighten, I got up to light the fire and make porridge. Madam and the others ate the porridge, then prepared to leave. The carriage to take them to the ferry had been arranged the day before and was already waiting early in the morning.

Before stepping out the door, Madam cried again.

She covered her mouth and nose with a handkerchief, but her tears kept streaming down.

At the moment of parting, even the wind felt bleak, as if autumn had arrived all at once.

With red-rimmed eyes, I handed the bundle I had prepared that morning to Sister Zhu’er. Madam asked what it was, and I said, “It’s candied fruit for motion sickness on the boat, and eggs to eat on the road.”

The Eldest Young Master was still seated in his wooden wheelchair, his face expressionless. He was dressed thinly, his robes fluttering in the wind. A pair of sharp, bony shoulder blades jutted from his back, like wings that might carry him away on the next gust.

When he spoke, his voice was very hoarse.

I thought he would say something more, but in the end, he only said, “It’s about time.”

And so, we saw Madam off. From then on, in the vast Wei Family residence, only the Eldest Young Master, Jianru, and I remained.

The residence felt terribly empty. I returned to the kitchen, rolled up my sleeves, and cleaned up the bowls and chopsticks I had not had time to deal with that morning. That strange ache in my lower back returned. Most likely, I had slept badly the night before while dozing by the stove to watch over the millet porridge. I rubbed my waist with my hand and decided I would go to bed earlier tonight.

During that time, Jianru lifted the curtain and came in once.

He had come to relay the Eldest Young Master’s words. The Eldest Young Master said that since there were only three of us left in the household from now on, we would eat together, and there was no need to prepare a separate meal for him anymore.

For me, this was a good thing. It saved me a great deal of work, though it was rather improper.

At noon, I stir-fried four simple dishes, set them on a tray, and carried them to the Eldest Young Master’s courtyard.

This was my first time entering his courtyard. In the past, I had always delivered the food to the gate, and Jianru would come out to take it.

At that moment, the Eldest Young Master was not sitting in his wheelchair. Jianru was supporting him, and the two of them were practicing walking on the ground.

Before, whenever I saw the Eldest Young Master, he had either been sitting or lying face down. Now that he was standing, I realized he was very tall, half a head taller than Jianru. But he did not walk well. His lips were pressed tightly together, and a fine sheen of sweat had seeped across his forehead.

I didn’t dare disturb them. Keeping my head lowered, I took out the food and set it on the table, secretly regretting that I hadn’t brought it in a proper food box. Who knew how long the Eldest Young Master would be gone? The dishes were nearly cold.

The thought had only just flashed through my mind when I suddenly heard Jianru cry out in alarm. I turned my head and saw the Eldest Young Master’s knees give way. He toppled straight down, dragging Jianru with him, and the two of them crashed awkwardly to the floor. A vase on the nearby stand was knocked over and came smashing down on top of them.

I froze in fright, then instinctively ran toward them.

The Eldest Young Master was the first to shout, “Careful.”

Only then did I see the floor was scattered with countless tiny shards of porcelain.

A flying shard had cut Jianru at the corner of his forehead, leaving a small gash. The Eldest Young Master seemed unhurt, but he still had great difficulty getting up; Jianru and I had to support him between us.

I made a point of shaking out the hem of his robe to make sure no shards had clung to him before letting Jianru help him sit down.

After all that fuss, the blood from Jianru’s forehead had already trickled down to his chin.

The Eldest Young Master ordered him to go have it treated.

I took the broom and dustpan on my own initiative, bent down, and began sweeping up the broken vase.

The sunlight was bright. The shards of porcelain scattered on the floor reflected it in dazzling little flecks. My eyes blurred for a moment, and I saw blood on my own skirt as well.

My first thought was that it was Jianru’s blood.

But on second thought, Jianru’s blood had not even stained his own clothes. How could it have stained mine?

So I thought, This is my blood. I just don’t know where I’m hurt.

I carefully checked my upper body. Nothing.

Then I tried to look lower, but with the Eldest Young Master present, I could hardly lift my skirt to check.

The Eldest Young Master noticed something was off with me. He asked, “What are you looking for?”

I lifted the stained corner of my skirt for him to see. “This servant seems to have been hurt just now, but it’s strange. I don’t feel pain anywhere.”

Our eyes met. The Eldest Young Master, who had barely shown any expression even when Madam left, for some reason had the tips of his ears turning a little red at that moment.

He coughed and asked, “How old are you this year?”

“Thirteen.”

My lower belly suddenly clenched, and another red blossom slowly spread across my skirt.

The air went terrifyingly still. Then I heard the Eldest Young Master lower his voice and say, “You… are probably… having your monthly courses.”

I… was probably… having my monthly courses.

My mind roared. Mortified and at a loss, I stood there, staring blankly at the Eldest Young Master. “Oh. Then… what do I do?”

My wise and mighty, all-knowing Eldest Young Master, who had achieved the highest honors in the three imperial examinations at nineteen, was now just as lost as I was. He looked at me and actually stammered, “This… y-your mother never told you?”

“My mother passed away early. She didn’t have time to tell me.”

My stepmother had mentioned monthly courses, but only because she was scheming that once mine came, she would find a way to send me to Squire Wang’s estate for him to look me over.

She had never taught me how to use a menstrual cloth.

Besides, I didn’t have one on hand.

It had never occurred to me to prepare such a thing.

Madam and Sister Zhu’er had both left. There was not a single woman in the manor.

The ache in my lower belly abruptly turned burning hot, and it felt as if a stone were dragging down inside me. In all my thirteen years, I had never felt more helpless than I did then. I blinked twice, and my eyes slowly reddened.

Biting my lip, I was about to ask to be excused so I could go change my clothes first, then find some scraps of cloth to pad myself with. Suddenly, my vision went dark. The scent of pine resin settled over me from above as fabric shook open-it was the Eldest Young Master’s outer robe, still carrying his body warmth.

When I looked up, the Eldest Young Master coughed again.

He turned his eyes away. “You-put this on first.”

After stopping the bleeding on his forehead, Jianru pushed the door open and came in. What he saw was this scene:

The Eldest Young Master was wearing only his inner robe, the tips of his ears bright red.

I was draped in his outer robe, tears shining in my eyes.

Jianru raised a hand and rubbed his eyes, his face full of disbelief. Clutching his forehead, he muttered to himself, “Did I… injure my brain?”

A vein throbbed at the Eldest Young Master’s temple. He coughed again and again, practically coughing himself breathless.

He waved for Jianru to leave first.

As Jianru went out, I noticed even his steps seemed to float, as if he were walking through a dream.

Then the Eldest Young Master sat in his wheelchair and told me to push him out.

I asked, “Where are we going?”

“To the kitchen.”

“If there is anything in the kitchen that needs doing, Eldest Young Master need only instruct this servant… After… after this servant goes back to change first…”

The Eldest Young Master had already regained his composure. His voice was very calm, as if he were merely discussing the weather, and after hearing it, I did not feel quite so panicked either.

“We will go to the kitchen and get some plant ash, then go to Zhu’er’s quarters.”

“Did Sister Zhu’er leave something behind and forget to take it?”

“…Go see if there is anything in her room… She probably didn’t take everything with her… Use it as a model and make one for yourself first.”

My face flushed crimson. My hands tightened again and again on the handles of the Eldest Young Master’s wheelchair. After a long while, I answered him in a small voice:

“…Oh.”