chapter 2
chapter 2
At the town hospital, Grandpa was rushed into surgery.
I sat on an iron bench outside in my battered canvas shoes, unable to stop crying.
“Dad, when can we go home? This place is poor and shabby. I hate it.
“And she’s so noisy. She’s covered in dirt, like a dog.”
The owner of the polished shoes spoke again, his childish voice ringing down the quiet corridor.
The gentle-looking woman beside him stiffened and scolded him under her breath.
“Hansheng, don’t be rude.”
Mrs. Song crouched in front of me. With a soft silk handkerchief, she patiently wiped the grime from my face.
“Don’t worry, sweetheart. Your grandpa will be all right.”
When she saw the pale, delicate face beneath the mud, her eyes filled with even more sympathy.
“Qishan, isn’t the Song Corporation running a charity program for mountain communities? Why don’t we sponsor this girl’s education?
“She’s such a sweet-looking child. I hear she’s an excellent student, too. Her family is simply too poor.”
Song Qishan had just returned from paying the surgical bill. He agreed without hesitation.
Overwhelmed, I dropped to my knees, wiped away my tears, and kowtowed to them with all my strength.
A year earlier, my father had vanished after running up gambling debts. When his vicious creditors came to our home, Grandpa had clutched me in his arms and kowtowed just like this.
When they agreed not to take me, he had covered the left eye they had blinded and thanked them over and over for their mercy.
I knew the Song family had saved Grandpa’s life. That meant I had to kowtow, too.
Mrs. Song hurriedly pulled me up and pushed me toward her son.
“Let me introduce you. This is your big brother Hansheng.
“Hansheng, you are not to bully this pretty little girl. Do you hear me?”
The boy named Song Hansheng kept his bright eyes fixed on my face, as though he had discovered a fascinating new toy.
Patients passing through the hall stopped in unison and craned their necks toward us.
[Ahhh, childhood sweethearts! So sweet! I’m sold!]
[If I put myself in the heroine’s place, I’d be dying of happiness!]
[Little Hansheng already fell in love at first sight. Please, heroine, you have to choose him!]
[Childhood friends always lose to the guy who comes along later. I’m betting on my darling Shen Song!]
[…]
After the accident, both of Grandpa’s legs were amputated high above the knee. The village gave us a small subsidy.
The family whose machine had crushed him had no money either. The wife was dead, and their daughter had heart disease. In the end, they borrowed from everyone they knew and barely managed to cover his medical expenses.
I tested out of our mountain village and into the city’s top high school. With the Song family’s sponsorship, I made it all the way to my senior year.
For years, life was quiet. No one came to disturb me.
Then, one day between classes, I went to fill my water bottle. Several students at the end of the corridor were staring at me in excitement.
The voices I had not heard for years—the voices that terrified me—appeared again.
I knew they heralded an endless succession of disasters.
[Oh my god, the heroine grew up gorgeous. She’s totally worthy of all three male leads!]
[Little Hansheng finally transferred here. The childhood sweethearts are about to reunite!]
[The heroine turns eighteen today, so the Song Corporation’s sponsorship ends. How is she going to survive?]
[Why worry? She still has Hansheng, her powerful backer.]
[Thank goodness for him. Otherwise, the heroine would be devastated when she loses her scholarship. Sob…]
My hand froze beneath the faucet. Frowning, I listened to their overlapping spoilers.
These people seemed to obey a peculiar logic.
Why did they always judge whether my looks made me worthy of some man?
Why did they pair me with a man I had met only once?
Why did I, for no apparent reason, need a man as my protector?
And what did they mean by losing my scholarship?
Spring sunlight spilled along the corridor, yet a chill crept through me.
The bell rang sharply. Just as I turned toward the classroom, someone called my name.
On the office desk lay a newly printed waiver for the citywide exam scholarship. The paper was still warm.
“Qiuyu, did you hear what I just said?”
My homeroom teacher’s gentle voice drew me back.
Sunlight poured through the slats of the half-open blinds. I squinted against it.
“What?”
“I know the Song Corporation has always paid for your schooling. So this time, why don’t you give the scholarship to Su Miaomiao?”
The pale girl sitting across from me stared with naked hope. She was Su Miaomiao.
“Miaomiao’s father was disabled in a workplace accident and lost his job. Her family is struggling so badly that they cannot pay her tuition.
“Her rank was close to yours. She almost won the scholarship. Perhaps you could give it to a classmate who needs it more.”
Ms. Li compassionately poured a cup of hot water and handed it to Su Miaomiao, who dared not raise her head.
I frowned and looked past her toward the results posted in the corridor.
My name blazed across the bright red announcement.
[Wen Qiuyu: 725 points. First place in the joint examination across nine city schools.]
So this was what those people meant when they said I would lose my scholarship.
But I did not need their little Hansheng to be my protector. I would protect myself.
“Ms. Li, Miaomiao and I are three hundred and fifty-one places apart in the city rankings. She did not ‘almost’ win.
“The city scholarship rewards academic excellence. If her family is in financial difficulty, she should apply for hardship assistance.”
I pushed the waiver back and refused with calm seriousness.
Su Miaomiao lowered her head even farther. I watched a fat tear strike the desk. Her shoulders trembled as though from humiliation, and a sob caught in her voice.
“No… never mind. I don’t want the scholarship.”
The other teachers in the office looked distressed. One after another, they turned strange looks on me.
Even Ms. Li, who was usually mild with everyone, darkened.
“Don’t be silly. Your family needs this money. How can you say you don’t want it?”
She drew Su Miaomiao against her shoulder, then fixed a hard stare on the student she had once proudly claimed as her own.
“Qiuyu, I have always told everyone that you are a kind, generous girl.
“You already have the Song family’s support. How can you be so greedy?
“I am deeply disappointed in you.”
The office went unnaturally quiet. Her expression made her disappointment and disgust unmistakable.
The fan overhead stirred cold air across my skin, raising gooseflesh.
This was moral coercion on a grand scale, dressed up as kindness.