Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I have been a lecher since I was little.

At six, I fell for a down-and-out swordsman with a powerful build.

I followed him and studied martial arts for seven years.

At fourteen, I fell in love at first sight with an elder sister who came to our door asking for alms.

So I chopped off my hair and went up the mountain to become a nun.

At seventeen, amid apricot blossoms and misting rain,

Crown Prince Xie Zhaolin came to the temple to offer incense. On the bridge, he held an umbrella and glanced back, a single breathtaking look.

In that instant, the peach blossoms of my hometown bloomed again.

I packed my bundle, yanked on a wig, and headed straight for the imperial palace.

After fighting my way through obstacle after obstacle, I became the Crown Prince’s Dark Guard.

And I stayed for three years.

The other Dark Guard members either died or were injured. Only I became Xie Zhaolin’s right-hand man.

That night, the Crown Prince suddenly summoned me.

When I entered the bedchamber, Xie Zhaolin was bathing.

His lean, powerful figure was cast against the screen, made half-translucent by the steam-broad shoulders, narrow waist, solid arms with smooth, flowing lines.

As he lifted his hands to rinse himself, the shadows of his muscles rose and fell like waves, rolling straight into my heart.

Hiss. Drool.

I admired him openly and honorably.

Seriously, who invented this little thing called Xie Zhaolin? How did he only get better-looking with age?

“What are you looking at?” Xie Zhaolin asked coldly.

Everyone knew the Crown Prince had a terrible temper and was moody as hell.

I stepped forward and skillfully began flattering him.

“Your Highness’s pecs are really huge. Everything on you is huge. Please teach this servant!”

The sound of water behind the screen abruptly stopped.

“Absurd!”

Xie Zhaolin’s voice was both furious and flustered.

“You are a woman. How can such filthy words leave your mouth?”

Filthy was nothing. I could be downright indecent.

But I would never dare say that to His Highness the Crown Prince.

I scratched my head in confusion and gave him an honest, simple smile.

“I’ve been rough and thick-skinned since childhood. I don’t understand the difference between men and women. In my heart, His Highness the Crown Prince is like a god.”

…And sooner or later, I would drag that god down from his altar and onto the bed.

I automatically muted the second half.

Xie Zhaolin was pleased.

He clicked his tongue and sneered.

“Smooth-tongued dog of a servant.”

I accepted it with a chuckle.

I did not feel the slightest bit humiliated.

Who told him to be so pretty? His voice sounded good too.

Nice. Loved it. Say more.

Amid the curling steam, Xie Zhaolin ordered in a low voice,

“Seventeen, kill someone for me.”

Every time Xie Zhaolin told me to kill someone, I feared hearing my father’s name from his lips.

Fortunately, Xie Zhaolin only killed corrupt officials.

I once asked my father if he had ever embezzled funds or accepted bribes.

He pondered for a moment.

“A tiny bit of greed. Not much.”

According to my father, he had once taken advantage of a meal with the Crown Prince to crawl under the table and pry away a luminous pearl embedded in the sole of Xie Zhaolin’s shoe.

Whether Xie Zhaolin noticed, I did not know.

But more than once, I overheard him and his trusted ministers whispering that my father was shortsighted as a rat and did not know what was good for him.

I put away my smile, my heart tightening.

“Your Highness, who am I killing?”

As I spoke, Xie Zhaolin had already changed and walked out from behind the screen.

His sleeping robe was very thin, faintly outlining his lean inverted-triangle figure. Drops of water that had not been wiped dry slid along the texture of his skin and fell into his porcelain-white, taut chest…

I dazed out for a moment.

I nearly failed to keep my footing.

“Your Highness, what did you just say?”

“If your ears are deaf, cut them off sooner rather than later.” Displeasure showed in Xie Zhaolin’s dark eyes as he walked toward me.

His tone was low and gloomy.

“Three days from now, at the Hundred Flowers Banquet. My Eldest Royal Brother.”

I was stunned.

When Xie Zhaolin went crazy, he even killed his own family?

The Eldest Prince had guarded the border for the country for five years and had only recently returned in triumph.

He was a great hero deeply loved by the common people.

How had he offended Xie Zhaolin now?

By the time I snapped back to my senses, Xie Zhaolin was standing at the table, idly flipping through portraits of beauties one by one.

The Hundred Flowers Banquet was where the princes selected their consorts.

What Xie Zhaolin was flipping through were portraits of every eligible daughter of officials in court.

I casually asked, “Does Your Highness have a girl you favor?”

Xie Zhaolin glanced at me and raised a brow.

“Naturally, only the noblest woman under heaven would barely be worthy of me.”

…

Sharp-tongued and narcissistic.

Aside from that pretty face, he was simply useless.

He raised his hand and turned to the next page.

Oh no!

The taut string in my mind suddenly snapped.

My portrait was in there!

Before I could stop him, Xie Zhaolin had already flipped to mine.

I craned my neck and peeked.

Instantly, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Thank goodness.

I had no money for bribes.

So the painter had made me hideously ugly.

This giant pancake of a face, these round, plump cheeks, and the acne scattered across them like pearls falling onto a jade plate…

Whose toad had cultivated into human form?

Xie Zhaolin suddenly looked at me, his brows faintly furrowing.

“This person bears quite a resemblance to you.”

…

???

I was wearing a face covering, with only my eyes exposed. Where did he see the resemblance?

I swallowed a mouthful of curses and forced a smile.

“This servant’s life is lowly. How could I compare myself to a noble young lady?”

“At least you know your place.” Xie Zhaolin closed the scroll and gave me an arrogant sideways glance.

Heh.

I was about to grind my teeth to dust.

Xie Zhaolin lowered his eyes and opened a book, speaking as if unintentionally.

“There is no need to belittle yourself either.”

“You are mine. As long as I am here, no one will dare look down on you.”