chapter 2

I raised a hand for the guards to lower their swords. “It’s all right. I… I consented.”

Guard Lin looked Lou Guanshan up and down with deep suspicion. “But Your Highness, didn’t you say you liked women with, well, surging waves? Why have you suddenly taken a liking to a flat… flat… flat plain?”

I released his twisted ear. “Miss Shen is delicate, lovely, and beautiful as an immortal. I am very fond of her.”

Lou Guanshan snorted.

“But I clearly saw you frowning,” Guard Lin said. “You looked extremely unwilling.”

I stiffened my neck. “You’re too young to understand the games between men and women. I enjoy being forced and humiliated by a woman. I may look reluctant, but inside, I am terribly excited.”

Every guard in the circle sucked in a breath and began whispering. My face was already burning when Lou Guanshan walked gracefully to my side, linked his arm through mine, and smiled with perfect decorum.

“Keep talking nonsense,” he whispered in my ear, “and I will cut out your tongue.”

My expression changed. Guard Lin immediately grew alert. “Your Highness, are you unwell?”

Lou Guanshan pinched me behind my back, ordering me to answer. I winced. “Ah… wonderful! I feel wonderful!”

One of the guards noticed his little movement. More whispers and pointing followed behind me, punctuated by murmurs of sudden enlightenment.

Lou Guanshan leaned close again. “Explain this properly.”

“See?” I announced. “I like them wild.”

The guards burst into disorderly applause.

When Lou Guanshan and I emerged from the library pavilion, dazzling sunlight poured over us. I narrowed my eyes and raised a distracted hand to shield them.

He took the opportunity to pivot and sweep a leg at me. I leaned back, feeling the rush of air graze my nose, and struck at him with my palm. He drifted lightly aside, then whipped up the hand at his hip. I twisted left, but he was faster. Just before his palm struck my face, he changed his move and flicked me sharply on the forehead.

All that effort just to flick my head!

He clasped his hands behind his back. “Talk nonsense again, and I’ll cut you down.”

“Cut my body, break your heart.”

Seeing that I remained wholly unrepentant, he looked up at me with interest. “Shall we test that?”

A quarter of an hour later, my complete lack of self-awareness had me fleeing around the courtyard with Lou Guanshan in pursuit. Chickens scattered, dogs leaped aside, and chaos followed in our wake. He was enjoying his game of cat and mouse immensely, smiling as he chased me and gathered strength for another flick.

I appealed to the guards on duty. “If you’re my brothers, come help me!”

A new young guard prepared to leap into action, but Guard Lin held him back.

“His Highness said this is a private pleasure between a man and a woman,” Guard Lin told him gravely. “Do not interfere and spoil His Highness’s enjoyment.”

I had no words.

In any case, our trip to the library had not been wasted. The clue we found was clear: a kiss could switch us back.

But when I finally prepared to perform deep artificial respiration with Lou Guanshan, I remembered the horde of guards pouring into the library from every direction the last time we nearly kissed. Now I constantly imagined a thousand pairs of eyes watching us from the shadows. The pressure was unbearable.

I shoved away Lou Guanshan’s approaching face. He glared at me.

“Can we kiss somewhere else?” I asked sheepishly. “I can’t do it here. I’m traumatized.”

“The guards follow the Crown Prince wherever he goes. Where exactly do you intend to hide?”

His brow furrowed and his expression turned vicious. “Have you changed your mind about switching back?”

“Being Crown Prince is miserable. Assassins come for you every night, people stare at you all day, and you have to sneak around just to kiss someone. Of course I want to switch back.”

Lou Guanshan chuckled. “I did not think you had such ambition.”

“Why not?”

“You’re too slow. My sixth brother sent you to kill me, and you failed every attempt for three years.”

My face changed. “How did you know? Did you plant a spy?”

“I didn’t know,” he said blandly. “I tricked it out of you just now.”

So the spy was me.

I asked whether there was somewhere secluded in his residence without guards. Lou Guanshan asked how I could have spent three years attempting to assassinate him without learning which parts of the estate were deserted.

“You’re the Crown Prince,” I said. “Do you know?”

He promptly changed the subject.

After wasting three days wandering around the estate, we finally found a hidden corner. Vines clung to the wall in the cramped space, casting mottled shadows across the ground.

Lou Guanshan seized my collar and muttered, “If I do not enter hell, who will?”

I closed my eyes, ready to sacrifice myself heroically. When nothing happened, he said, “Why are you standing there? Bend down.”

I obediently bent my six-foot frame. Cornered by the petite Lou Guanshan, I felt small, helpless, and pitiful.

He rose on tiptoe. A rich fragrance surrounded me. I had never been so close to anyone before, and it felt as though ten thousand insects were burrowing behind my ears, leaving them numb and itchy. I thrust a hand between our lips.

He glared.

“Wait. My lips are a little dry. Let me wet them first…”

He swept up his skirt and planted one slender white leg against the wall behind me. Every inch the tyrant about to force himself on a helpless beauty, he ground out, “Don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind again.”

As if I wanted to keep living the Crown Prince’s daily life of thrills and mortal danger!

I drew a deep breath and leaned in. Just before our lips touched, Lou Guanshan jerked his face away.

“I can’t do it.”

“Let’s both close our eyes,” I suggested eagerly.

Thirty seconds later, Lou Guanshan and I were crouched together, holding our heads and weeping because neither of us could bring ourselves to kiss the other.

We sat on mossy flagstones in the warm sunlight. I so rarely stood in the light. Looking at Lou Guanshan’s bright eyes and gleaming teeth, I felt as though I had stepped into another life.

“Making me kiss a man…” His face twisted. “I get close and—ugh.”

I kindly patted his back. “But the person inside that man’s body is a woman.”

“Neither man nor woman—ugh.”

“At least it’s your own face. That should make it less disgusting, shouldn’t it?”

He looked stricken. “Then I’d be kissing myself—ugh.”

Kissing myself…

His description was far too vivid. An image sprang into my mind, and I joined him in clutching the rockery and retching.

Ugh.

We had thought a kiss would solve everything. Who knew it could be so difficult?

We could not do it sober. Surely we could do it drunk.

For once, Lou Guanshan accepted my suggestion. “Tomorrow, after you leave court, I’ll take you drinking.”

“How generous of you, Your Highness!”

He tapped my forehead. “Look at you.”

I sat in the imperial study pretending to read official documents while Lou Guanshan stood behind me, directing me to stamp one and cross out another.

I had once asked whether he was afraid I would see state secrets. He sneered and said that if I possessed the ability to pass on useful information, he would not have let me live until now.

True. I did not. The Sixth Prince had sent me to kill the ruthless Lou Guanshan three years ago and never contacted me again. He probably assumed I was dead.

The thought was a little depressing. I had been the Sixth Prince’s hidden blade, handling the people and problems he could not touch in the open. I had believed myself his sharpest weapon. It turned out I was only one more expendable piece among his many shadow guards.

When I stared into space too long, Lou Guanshan blew ominously against the back of my ear. “Planning a rebellion?”

I changed the subject. “When you take me drinking, whose money are we spending?”

“Mine, naturally. The money currently in my purse.”

I flung my brush aside. “That means it’s my money!”

Lou Guanshan gave me a falsely admiring smile. “Clever.”

“I’ll buy the ten most expensive courtesans in the city, then eat and drink at the finest restaurant until I’ve squandered your entire fortune!”

“If your body can endure it, you are welcome to see how many years that takes.”

Detestable rich man!

Perfumed sleeves and jeweled hairpins drifted through the streets. The moon hung above the willows, while lanterns turned the flower market bright as day.

I followed Lou Guanshan through the night market, gazing around in delight. A trace of pride entered his smile when he looked back at me.

“You’re acting like a child. Have you never seen this before?”

In my profession, I was either killing someone or traveling to kill someone. On my rare days off, I curled up in bed and slept. I had no friends to drink or roam the streets with. Only now did I learn how magnificent the capital looked at night.

We passed a clothing shop whose walls were covered in bright, fluttering skirts.

My feet refused to move.

“You like those?” Lou Guanshan asked.

I nodded, suddenly shy.

“Wrap them all up.”

I hurriedly covered his mouth. “No, that’s such a waste! Doesn’t it hurt to spend so much?”

The proprietress came out beaming. “My, what a handsome young lady! Shopping for clothes?”

I instinctively thought she meant me. “Yes. Pick some for me.”

Lou Guanshan’s face went black.

The woman looked troubled. “Your Highness, this is… a women’s clothing shop. I’m afraid our wares may not suit your usual style.”

Lou Guanshan’s face cycled from red to white to black like a walking paint palette.

I had always lost our verbal sparring matches. The sight was so rare that mischief stirred in me again.

“Never mind,” I said smoothly. “I like them very much.”

Under the proprietress’s hesitant gaze, Lou Guanshan’s fist clenched with a snap.