Chapter 4
Chapter 4
I was so angry I grabbed my phone, my hand already raised.
Then I suddenly remembered that if I broke it, I had no money to get it fixed.
So I could only slam it down onto the bed.
The phone hit the quilt and sank softly into it.
Great.
Now I was even angrier.
Holding that breath in, I worked through two test papers.
After checking the answers, I reviewed every question I got wrong.
Outside the window, fewer lights were still on.
After washing up, I lay down in bed.
That breath of anger in my chest still hadn’t gone down.
I tossed and turned.
I couldn’t tell if it was rage or some other wicked fire burning inside me.
I turned on my phone.
I typed in a string of numbers I knew by heart.
I’d seen it by accident in the homeroom teacher’s office.
Thank goodness for my good memory.
One glance had been enough for me to memorize it backward and forward.
I took a deep breath and started typing, one character at a time:
I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you I like you…
Until the words filled the entire screen.
Packed densely together.
Like my heart had been cut open, and inside it grew only one kind of vine, twisting and tangling, all of it spelling out one person’s name.
Xie Yu Xie Yu Xie Yu Xie Yu-
I rolled around on the bed a few times.
At last, I pressed send.
Then I immediately pressed the phone to my chest.
The crappy phone with its terrible heat dissipation scorched my heart until it was burning hot.
Even my face felt warm.
What should I do?
I really liked him so much.
I thought of Xie Yu’s face, forever gentle and lowered like a benevolent Bodhisattva’s.
How would he reply?
Would he ignore it?
Would he call me a creep?
Or… would he use that gentle, spring-breeze-like tone and say, “Thank you for liking me, but I’m sorry”-
My phone vibrated.
I flipped it open at once.
[XXXX] Dear customer, your service has been suspended due to an overdue balance. Please pay promptly…
My eyes went wide.
In disbelief, I opened the page from just now.
-Message failed to send.
It hadn’t gone out at all.
My vision went black.
I nearly passed out.
I was so furious I got back up and did another test paper.
When you’re poor, everything you do feels miserable.
Even venting can only be done by solving practice questions.
After spending the whole night doing problems, I arrived at school the next day completely drained.
Before class started,
I lay on my desk to catch up on sleep.
“Xiaocui?”
It was Xie Yu.
His voice came from above my head.
I lifted my face.
The boy’s face was backlit.
It looked a little blurred.
“Are you feeling unwell?” He paused. “Do you want to go to the infirmary?”
Sunlight fell on his shoulders, breaking into patches of light.
“…”
I stared at him for two seconds.
All of a sudden, the wicked fire from last night seemed to reignite in my chest.
It burned until my throat tightened and my heart raced, dragging up all of last night’s hurt and anger along with it.
I wanted to kiss him so badly.
I wanted to hold him so badly.
I wanted to lock you up in that crappy fifty-square-meter apartment of mine.
I shot upright and shook my head.
“I’m fine. I stayed up too late doing practice questions last night.”
Xie Yu nodded and smiled. “You still have to take care of yourself.”
I gave a small hum in response.
After the homeroom teacher arrived, she handed out the papers from the last monthly exam.
Xie Yu’s grades weren’t bad. He was often second in the class.
I was first.
I usually beat him by twenty or thirty points.
But Xie Yu never seemed to mind. He would always smile at me, then praise me in that soft, gentle way of his. “Xiaocui really is amazing.”
I said, “Thank you.”
My eyes stayed nailed to the questions I’d gotten wrong.
He had no idea how dangerous he was.
He had no idea.
Every smile of his, every glance, every time he said “Zhou Xiaocui.”
All of it fermented inside me into a poison called greed.
I started wanting more.
For example.
His belongings.