Chapter 142
Chapter 142
Valentine’s Day descended into utter chaos. Twelve grim-faced dwarfs dressed as little cupids roamed up and down the castle, charging in and out of rooms.
They burst into classrooms at will to deliver Valentine’s cards, caring nothing for whether a professor was teaching. Everywhere they went, lessons dissolved into disorder.
What Lockhart had been thinking was anyone’s guess. Wrinkled, blue-grey creatures with long ears, huge eyes and pointed mouths bore no resemblance whatsoever to anyone’s idea of Cupid.
Especially not when the little monsters carried harps and had wings stuck to their shoulders.
What a nightmare…
Every young witch and wizard avoided them whenever possible. Suer did not believe that asking one of these creatures to deliver a card to one’s beloved was a wise choice…
That afternoon, one of the “cupids” charged into Snape’s Potions classroom and presented him with a card in front of the second-year students from both Houses.
Worse still, the “cupid” began reciting the message written inside.
It deliberately adopted a deep, solemn tone.
“Oh, dearest Severus.”
“Your gaze is like a murderous blade.”
“It has stolen my heart.”
“Your hair…”
“Is like a black sponge soaked in oil.”
“Fragrant and cloyingly sweet.”
“How I long to experience its wonders…”
The “cupid” did not finish. An enraged Snape blasted it out of the classroom with a spell. It struck the corridor wall, then flowed down the stone like a puddle of water and lost consciousness, its golden wings drifting feebly to the floor.
Why had Snape not used Avada Kedavra? Give the creature an Avada Kedavra! Suer thought maliciously, struggling not to laugh.
For the first time, the young witches and wizards saw a colour other than deathly white on Snape’s face. It was an exceptionally vivid shade of red.
Plainly, it did not come from shyness or pleasure.
It was the colour of absolute rage and humiliation. Nothing could have produced a more devastating public embarrassment.
Snape slammed the classroom door shut with his wand. The dust shaken loose from the ceiling showed how violently disturbed he was.
He swept the classroom with a murderous glare.
Suer immediately assumed a solemn expression, picked up his glass stirring rod and stirred the bubbling potion in his cauldron. He did not doubt that Snape wanted to silence every witness in the room permanently.
Fortunately, after sacrificing between twenty and eighty points from their respective Houses, they succeeded in leaving the Potions classroom alive.
The poor “cupid” still lay abandoned in the corridor with eyes closed when they emerged.
Expressionless, Snape conjured a rope with his wand and dragged the creature back into the classroom.
There was no doubt that Snape intended to interrogate the “cupid” mercilessly until it identified the culprit behind the card.
Several bottles of Veritaserum would probably be involved…
Suer remembered Snape’s practised technique and unsettling expression while processing the basilisk. He shuddered and hurried away from the Potions classroom before a soul-piercing scream could reach his ears.
Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying.
Within the space of a single lesson, word of everything that had happened in the Potions classroom spread through the castle like a virus. Even the ghosts heard the extraordinary tale of Snape receiving a Valentine’s card.
Everyone expressed sincere admiration for the brave soul responsible.
“It wasn’t you two, was it?” Suer encountered the Weasley twins in the corridor and could not resist stopping them.
“Of course it wasn’t us.”
“We have no desire to be…”
“Assassinated by Snape…”
“Once we’re outside school.”
“Staying alive matters.”
The twins completed one another’s sentences and firmly denied Suer’s suspicion. The glances they exchanged, however, gave him the distinct impression that an elaborate prank had succeeded.
They looked more suspicious by the moment…
It was exactly the sort of thing the brothers would do.
When Suer entered the Great Hall that evening, it had returned to normal. He breathed a great sigh of relief. At least he no longer needed the Bubble-Head Charm.
He had eaten breakfast and lunch at the Hufflepuff table, but naturally he had to eat dinner with Hermione. Lockhart’s efforts might have turned the day into a farce, yet he had been correct about one thing.
It was Valentine’s Day.
Surely one ought to spend at least one meal on Valentine’s Day with one’s sweetheart?
Thanks to Suer’s sincere apologies and tireless efforts to find topics of conversation, Hermione was finally willing to speak to him again.
Dinner passed quickly. Many people breathed sighs of relief; the cupid dwarfs had tormented them all day.
“Hannah told me she received a card during a lesson today. Her face went red with anger,” Hermione said. “If I received one today, I would take my wand and teach the sender a severe lesson.”
“Only someone who wanted to remain single for life would do that.” Suer smiled and popped a piece of apple into his mouth. From the corner of his eye, he noticed Neville pause.
“Wouldn’t you agree, Neville?”
“Heh, heh, heh… You’re right, Suer.” Neville forced a stiff and thoroughly unattractive smile.
Plainly, Neville had innocently believed Lockhart’s nonsense and carefully planned a surprise.
Hopefully he had not signed the card.
Otherwise…
Suer could not help sighing and shaking his head.
Just when everyone thought the Valentine’s Day farce had finally ended, three dwarfs with wings tied to their backs and harps slung over their shoulders entered through a side door of the Great Hall. Their hands were empty.
As the three dwarfs entered, the entire hall fell silent, as though an invisible hand had closed around every throat.
Everyone stopped with forks in hand and stared fixedly at them.
Ignoring the concentrated attention, the three dwarfs stood on tiptoe and scanned the hall with grim expressions. Once they found their target, they pushed through the crowd and marched directly towards the Gryffindor table.
“Harry Potter!” the middle dwarf shouted. Harry started and sprang instinctively from his chair.
He immediately ran. Even the greatest fool would know that publicly receiving a Valentine’s card here could not end well.
The dwarfs caught him, and three hands seized Harry’s black schoolbag.
“I have a musical message that must be delivered personally to Harry Potter,” the dwarf on the left shouted.
“Let go of me! Let go!” Harry struggled without cease.
“Riiip…” The bag tore apart. Quills and books scattered across the floor, and Harry landed with a thump.
“Stop moving. This is my last task, so let me finish it properly,” Suer heard one dwarf mutter.
The dwarf on the right then removed the harp from behind.
“Twang!” A string sounded.
The middle dwarf stepped forward, sat squarely on Harry and began to sing “tenderly” in a voice as unpleasant as a croaking toad.
“His eyes are enchanting, like a newly pickled toad.”
“His hair is so dashing, like a jet-black board.”
“Oh, brave hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
“He has conquered my heart.”
“I hope he will be mine, as I shall forever be his.”
Harry lay face-down on the floor and looked towards Suer and the others in despair. Suer could read his thoughts in his eyes.
Harry must bitterly regret that Voldemort had not killed him with Avada Kedavra all those years ago.
At least then he would have been spared this agony.
The Great Hall was quiet enough to hear a pin drop, so everyone heard the dwarf’s song clearly. They stared at one another.
The next instant, laughter powerful enough to lift the roof erupted.
Suer noticed Draco laughing particularly wildly not far away.
Tsk. He shook his head. There could be only one truth…
Harry’s face turned from white to black, then from black to red. He drew his wand.
He shouted the incantation — “Expelliarmus!”
The singing dwarf was struck by the spell, flew straight backwards and crashed heavily onto the Gryffindor table, drawing cries from every direction.
Suer’s eyes lit up at once…