Chapter 1

My mother was a pawn Madam Jiang had painstakingly chosen to pit against my father’s favorite concubine.

She was as accomplished as she was beautiful, and came from an official’s family besides. That was enough to win my father’s heart.

When my father’s infatuation with her was at its height,

Madam Jiang gave her a drug that preserved her beauty—and was lethally poisonous.

She wanted Mother to follow Lady Li’s example, leaving my father with a final memory of her at her loveliest and most tender.

All Mother had to do was die. Madam Jiang had already laid the trap for the favorite concubine.

Sure enough, Mother’s death sent my father into a fury. He investigated it to the bitter end.

The concubine who had reigned over the chancellor’s household for nearly ten years was beaten half to death and sold.

Her children lost his favor along with her.

My father banished them to the outer quarters.

Madam Jiang had killed two birds with one stone. She was immensely pleased.

She kept the promise she had made my mother. A few tears, and she secured permission to raise me herself.

I was entered under her name in the family register, becoming the chancellor’s second daughter by his principal wife.

She gained a virtuous reputation, and my father’s affection into the bargain.

Four birds with one stone. Kneeling to thank the bodhisattva, she laughed and wept like a madwoman.

Mother died happy. Relieved.

She took my hand and pressed it against her cold cheek.

Blood seeped from the corners of her mouth, but her eyes were tender and glad as she looked at me.

Like a child who had done something wonderful and hoped to be praised.

So endearing. So pitiful.

“When my Ah Chan grows up, she won’t have to be trampled underfoot to advance her father and brothers.

“My Ah Chan will be able to study, to marry a good man she loves, and live out her days in happiness.”

Her eyes were full of hope then—hope for the smooth road that lay ahead of me.

But Mother.

When had a woman’s road ever been smooth?

Wife, concubine, slave, maid.

Weren’t we all merely scraping out a life in a man’s shadow?

The first time I met Crown Prince Li Mingzhao was when his betrothal to my elder sister, Jiang Mingyue, was settled.

Even then, I knew.

Whatever it took, however many schemes I had to devise, I would marry him.

Because he was the stepping-stone I had chosen for myself.

I would use him to climb, one step at a time, until I reached the very top.

From then on, my word—Jiang Chan’s word—would be law.

No one would ever use me, enslave me, humiliate me, or tread on me again.

To my delight, Heaven showed me mercy for once.

Madam Jiang had spoiled Jiang Mingyue rotten.

She had quite a taste for flouting convention.

She loved light reading, especially tales of wandering martial heroes, and admired their protagonists.

Boating on lakes, dressing as a man, eating meat in great mouthfuls and drinking wine by the bowl.

Even pursuing true love.

At first, my father was beside himself. He confined her to her room and made her copy books as punishment.

Three rattan switches broke on her, yet she never wavered.

She was always clambering onto a roof or climbing through a window.

She drove my father to illness several times. He could do nothing but sigh.

I, meanwhile, had always lived up to the ideal of a noble young lady.

I excelled at the qin zither, board games, calligraphy, and painting. My looks and disposition were equally fine.

Afraid my sister would cause trouble once she married Li Mingzhao,

my father suggested to him that they end the betrothal—or substitute another bride.

When I heard, my heart thundered.

I thought my chance had come.

All those years of rising before dawn and working late into the night had not been wasted.

At last, my father could bring me forward, praise me where others could hear.

Looking at the thick layers of calluses on my hands, I found myself close to tears.

Until Li Mingzhao gave his unwavering answer.

“I think Mingyue is wonderful. She is unlike any other woman in the capital.

“The rest are so lifeless, so stiff and proper they might as well have one foot in the grave. None has even a fraction of Mingyue’s liveliness and charm, her candor and innocence.

“I love her as she is, and I can let her remain that way for life. You needn’t worry, Uncle. I will protect that rare, true spirit of hers.”

So forcing me onto all fours and riding me like a horse was liveliness. Making me fight dogs for food was charm. Secretly switching my medicine and nearly killing me was candor. Holding my head beneath the water in a vat and timing how long it would take me to suffocate was innocence!

Heaven.

You were so very unfair.

After a long silence, my father tried again.

“My second daughter, Jiang Chan, is a model for the young ladies of the capital. She excels at the qin, board games, calligraphy, and painting. All the ladies praise her. Even Her Majesty has called her dignified and gracious, composed and proper, and said she will make a fine wife.”

Li Mingzhao refused without mercy, dismissing everything I was.

“As for your second daughter, she is no different from the ornamental rocks in my courtyard.

“She may be a model young lady, but to me she is merely a stone without thoughts or opinions of her own, destined to spend her life being moved about by others.

“Women like her are as common as cicadas in summer.

“I want only my one and only Mingyue.”

That night, I sat for hours before Mother’s spirit tablet, watching the incense burn down, watching the sky pale toward dawn.

Watching my lost courage kindle again from the ashes, spitting sparks before my eyes.

A cicada lives eight days, born to live in the face of death.

Until the very last moment, things could still change.

I could not admit defeat. I could not be the first to lose my nerve.