Chapter 3

Mother had been born into a family of lotus-root harvesters in Yangzhou.

She waded into the ponds day after day, digging up lotus roots to support Father through his studies until he passed the provincial examinations.

Once he became an official, he promised to take her to the capital and give her a better life.

But the splendor of the capital soon dazzled him, and his wife who had shared his poverty was no longer worthy of his notice.

Years of hard labor had darkened Mother’s skin. She could not compare to the delicately sheltered women of the capital. Digging lotus roots in winter had left her hands covered in cuts, chilblains, and crisscrossing scars. They were rough and weathered.

Father watched her bustle through the residence with disgust.

“I brought you to the capital to be mistress of this household…”

He had said the same words before they came, when he had genuinely meant to bring her here to enjoy a life of comfort.

Now, however, the sentence had another half.

He had brought her to the capital to be mistress of the household, not a servant.

Even the newly purchased servants looked more like masters than she did.

Mother lowered her eyes in silence, hiding her disappointment.

She began to learn how a mistress should manage her household.

She studied beside my brother, learning to read and to conduct herself with refinement. She brought out the fine clothes and jewelry Father had once given her, treasures she had always been too frugal to wear, and learned to dress as women in the capital did.

Gradually, she looked less like a village woman.

But Father no longer saw her.

At a banquet, he met Liu Yuyao, the illegitimate daughter of an Assistant Minister of War.

She was sixteen, beautiful and in the first bloom of youth.

A neglected illegitimate daughter like Liu Yuyao would ordinarily have been sent into some powerful household as a concubine to further her family’s interests. But she refused to become a concubine and spend the rest of her life at the mercy of a principal wife, as she had at the Liu residence.

So she set her sights on Father.

He was a successful examination scholar with a smooth official career, while the only woman in his household was a shabby wife he was ashamed to present in public. In his eyes, Mother could not compare to a young lady raised in the capital.

Making him cast aside his wife and marry again seemed simplicity itself.

Liu Yuyao bewitched him. More than once, he tried to drive Mother and my brother back to their old home in Yangzhou.

He had changed his heart less than six months after arriving in the capital.

Father was no longer Mother’s support. A single word from him could cut off every means of survival she possessed.

The man who had once cherished her sacrifices and promised to earn a place in the world so she could live well now looked at her with nothing but revulsion.

Mother did not dare cry at home, where even the servants would laugh at her.

She went to the lakeshore and gazed at the lotus blossoms scattered across the green water.

She missed home, yet she did not want to return.

As she sat on the bank, she noticed a pleasure boat on the lake, its windows gilded and its rails inlaid with jade. She had never seen such a beautiful vessel and stared at it in wonder.

Then she realized something was wrong.

The boat was rocking too violently for ordinary waves.

Mother had spent most of her life beside the water. She quickly recognized the dangerous current hidden beneath the lake’s placid surface.

She shouted from the bank, but no one aboard could hear her.

A wave nearly overturned the vessel. A woman lost her footing and plunged into the lake.

The current swept her away before anyone aboard could catch her.

Without a second thought, Mother leapt into the water and swam toward her.

Fortunately, she had grown up beside the lake and was an excellent swimmer. With all her strength, she dragged the woman to shore.

Mother returned home soaked and bedraggled.

When Father saw her in dripping clothes, he hurled a teacup at her feet and shouted in fury.

“Do you think you’re still in the Yangzhou countryside? How dare you walk through the streets dressed like this? Have you no thought for my dignity?”

He was so angry that he did not hear her explain she had jumped into the lake to save someone.

Mother told him again.

“Even when saving a life, you must remember propriety.” Father’s tone softened as he flicked his sleeve. “Enough. You would not understand even if I explained. You should not remain in the capital. Go home.”

Mother lowered her eyes. This time, she did not weep as she once would have.

She had already exhausted her tears at the lakeside.

She simply looked up and asked softly, “I can go, but there are no good tutors in our village. May Huai stay in the capital to study?”

A trace of reluctance flickered through Father’s eyes.

It lasted only an instant.

He had promised Liu Yuyao to drive both mother and son back to Yangzhou.

“I have reviewed Huai’s lessons. He has no gift for scholarship. I have no time to care for him, so take him with you.” After those cruel words, Father offered false consolation. “I am still only a minor official. Once I have established myself in the capital, I will bring you both back.

“Huai will be older by then. I can arrange a good marriage for him here.”

Mother had never been educated, but she was no fool.

The moment Father complained that the cloth of her undergarments felt coarse, she knew there was another woman.

That woman must have been unlike Mother in every way that displeased him, someone who lived in a hundred times greater comfort.

Mother had not always needed to work so hard. She had once loved pretty clothes too.

But every coin she earned had gone toward Father’s studies.

He had promised that when he became an official, he would buy her the loveliest dresses and give her a life of ease.

He had long forgotten those promises.

Now all he wanted was for Mother to stop standing between him and his own better life.

A draft swept through the hall. Mother wrapped trembling arms around herself and looked at Father with reddened eyes.

“I am too crude. I have shamed you, Husband. Tomorrow, I will pack and take Huai home.

“I am only a woman from the countryside. I was never worthy of you. You have already given me enough food and warm clothes—what right have I to ask for more?

“I will never return to the capital or hinder your future… Only do not forget what you said today. Bring Huai back to the capital someday…”

Father agreed, a flicker of remorse crossing his face.

After so many years together, even he could not help softening at the sight of her thin, worn figure retreating to her room.

But Mother’s words had not been meant to soften his heart.

The woman she had rescued that day was Meng Jinci, the legitimate daughter of the chancellor.

Afraid Father would scold her, Mother had hurried home without even changing out of her wet clothes. After Meng Jinci regained consciousness and learned that her rescuer was the wife of an official, she immediately sent an older attendant to escort Mother safely home.

Mother’s speech had been for the attendant standing outside the door.

She could not forget the pity in Meng Jinci’s eyes when the young lady awoke and saw her cracked, scarred hands.

The gratitude and compassion of the chancellor’s daughter were Mother’s last chance to survive.