Chapter 1

I woke again.

The moment I opened my eyes, the familiar rafters came into view. I lifted a mirror, and sure enough, the same familiar face looked back from its yellowed surface.

My maid burst through the door in a panic and recited the lines I knew by heart. “Second Miss! This servant happened to overhear the master and his concubine talking. In one month, they mean to send you into the palace in Eldest Miss’s place!”

I soothed her with the composure of an old sage. “Don’t panic. This is nothing. Go back to your work.”

She left with obvious doubts, and I lay down again with a long sigh.

There was a reason I could march so generously toward death: I had a secret that would make anyone call me mad.

Every time I died, I awoke on the very night I learned I would be sent to the palace in my sister’s place. It was as if I were trapped in dream after dream, living through different versions of the same ending.

The first time, I entered the palace and drank several bowls of the imperial kitchen’s osmanthus sweet wine because it was simply too delicious. On my way to the privy that night, a masked villain seized me outside and strangled me.

The second time, I limited myself to one bowl. Then the scent of chopped-chili fish head drifted from the neighboring residence, so I secretly went fishing beside the imperial garden pond. Someone shoved me in, and I drowned.

The third time, I swore never to fish illegally again. The Western dancers at the palace banquet bored me, so I sat in a corner and ate a few extra pieces of dry mung-bean cake. They were poisoned.

And so on.

Each time I entered the palace, I was eliminated by some unidentified member of the harem before I could organize a proper body of knowledge on palace intrigue, master even the basics of competing for favor, or meet the emperor face-to-face in any meaningful sense.

After entering the palace and dying over and over, I had finally accepted that I was not cut out to become an imperial consort.

Since another dream would always follow, I might as well live freely for a while before throwing myself generously into the next one.

Fresh from my last dream, I lay in bed thinking mournfully of the pork knuckle I had missed, then packed my valuables and fled again that very night.

I hurried straight to Jiangnan to fulfill the regret of my previous life. Remembering when Father had caught me last time, I arrived at the same pork-knuckle stall half a month earlier, deep in the night.

Steam billowed from the freshly braised knuckle. Minced scallions and cilantro blanketed the thick skin and tender sinew, while the rich fragrance of sauce rushed over me.

I cradled the piping-hot bowl, and tears of emotion escaped disgracefully from the corners of my mouth.

At that very moment, the dark-faced cook clapped his hands. Men in black poured silently from every end of the alley and surrounded me.

I clutched my bowl. “W-what? I paid for it!”

The cook swept up his robe, dropped to one knee, and cupped his hands. “Master, we caught her.”

The ring of men parted. Every black-clad figure bowed as someone emerged from the depths of the alley.

Dim lamplight slanted across his face. His black robes made his skin look pale as snow, and his handsome features still held a trace of boyishness. Long lashes shadowed narrow, brooding eyes that seemed at odds with such an innocent face, yet in that desolate night the contrast gave him an almost bewitching beauty.

The face was both familiar and strange. Only now, seeing him from so close, did I realize he was younger and more handsome than I remembered—and far more ill-tempered than the man in my memories.

The youth sneered. “Your father has nearly dug up every paving stone in the capital looking for you, yet instead of running farther, you linger in Jiangnan. Were you waiting for Us to catch you again?”

Again?

I stared at the gold-dragon embroidery on his black satin boots. “This common woman… greets Your Majesty?”

His voice was clear and spirited, befitting his youth, but his words were venomous. “Not entirely stupid, then, despite doing something this foolish. If We discover you have escaped once you enter the palace, We will make certain you never leave it again for the rest of your life.”

I nodded timidly. The bowl was scorching my hands, so I set it down and began to eat with gusto.

The young emperor stood beside me with a dark expression. I cautiously pushed the bowl toward him. “Want some?”

He frowned. “Eat faster.”

I bent over the food and devoured it in terrified obedience. The instant I finished, a guard produced a rope.

I meekly held out my hands, and he bound them together tight.

Even after seven deaths, I could not escape my fate of entering the palace.