Chapter 5

Chapter 5

When I woke up, I found myself lying in a thatched shed.

I scrambled to my feet to look for Zhou Yuqing, only to find him lying right beside me, his hand still gripping my wrist in a death grip.

I softly called his name, and only then did Zhou Yuqing’s hand finally loosen.

The female physician who was brewing medicine smiled in surprise.

“Your husband is even more ill than you are. I shouldn’t have let you two lie together, but we couldn’t pry his hand away no matter how hard we tried.”

“Where is this?”

“The outskirts of the capital.”

The physician told me that the imperial court had set up congee and medicine stalls outside the city. Officials for disaster relief and soldiers for quelling the riots had already been dispatched. It shouldn’t be long before the chaos was suppressed.

My heart settled slightly, but then I grew worried about Zhou Yuqing’s injuries.

“He is too weak and his illness is severe. It’s hard to say if he’ll ever wake up.”

I realized then that his entire body was burning with fever. The arm he had hidden to keep me from seeing was a mess of festering wounds.

I couldn’t help but wipe away a stray tear as I took the bowl of decoction from the physician, feeding it to him bit by bit.

During those days, aside from cleaning him and feeding him medicine, I also asked people to go into the city to inquire about Zhou Yuqing’s uncle. I figured he would recover faster if we could get him into the city for treatment.

When Zhou Yuqing’s uncle sent people to fetch him to the manor, the crowd stood at the entrance and stared at me. Seeing my appearance-that of a little beggar-they were all stunned and began to whisper.

“Is she Young Master Zhou’s savior?”

“Should we just give her some money and send her away?”

Madam Zhou gave her subordinates a sharp, annoyed look.

“Send her away? Are you trying to send away my son’s life?”

After I finished explaining our journey and how Zhou Yuqing had protected me the whole way, Madam Zhou looked at the unconscious Zhou Yuqing, her eyes reddening with heartache. In the end, she didn’t blame me; she didn’t even say a single harsh word.

She simply sighed.

“On Qing’er’s birthday, he told me he wanted to marry you as his wife. I looked down on the idea and was unwilling.

“Grape, don’t blame me for being cold and snobbish. As a mother, I naturally hope my child lives a life free of disasters, safe and wealthy.

“Qing’er used to be so proud, but after his leg was crippled, his temperament became eccentric. Even when he went out on the streets, he felt that people were looking down on him if they stared, and looking down on him if they didn’t.”

I couldn’t help but turn to look at Zhou Yuqing. He lay there quietly, as if he were lost in a very long dream.

“But after you arrived, Qing’er changed. He regained a bit of vitality.

“Grape, I’m shamelessly putting in a good word for my son. Qing’er wasn’t like this before. You know, extreme insecurity can sometimes look a lot like arrogance.”

Madam Zhou began to cry as she spoke. I hurriedly handed her a handkerchief and comforted her in a low voice, while also comforting myself.

“One of his legs is bad, so he walks slowly. I’ll just wait for him.”

Besides, when he came back to find me this time, he had already caught up to me.

We could take the rest of the road slowly.

However, Zhou Yuqing was so ill that he refused to wake up.

The divine physician said his illness had mostly cleared, but he might be trapped in a nightmare.

But no one knew what that dream was.

I leaned close to Zhou Yuqing’s ear and whispered, “Don’t worry, I’ve informed Miss Su’s family. She’s already been ransomed and returned home.”

Zhou Yuqing didn’t move.

“That pot of White Lion you like so much? Changle took it to feed the pigs.”

Zhou Yuqing remained asleep, showing no reaction.

“Actually, I prepared a birthday gift for you that day. I was thinking of going back to cook you a bowl of longevity noodles with a poached egg.”

Zhou Yuqing’s eyelashes fluttered like butterflies before returning to stillness.

I rested my chin on my hand and studied him, feeling a bit troubled. Why wouldn’t he wake up even for good food?

Wait!

I leaned over his ear and muttered softly, “If you don’t wake up soon, I’m leaving. I’m going to go sleep with Zou Bo’an.”

Zhou Yuqing still didn’t react. I sighed and turned to leave.

Suddenly, the person behind me grabbed my wrist with enough force to make me wince.

I was abruptly pulled into a furious embrace. Zhou Yuqing propped up his weak body, his face dark.

“Who are you going to sleep with?”

I froze for a moment, then called out in joy, “The Young Master is awake!”

But Zhou Yuqing turned my face toward him, insisting on an answer. “Explain yourself first. Who are you going to sleep with?”

I was truly afraid that others would see us and laugh, so I hurriedly coaxed him: “With you, with you! Once you’re better, I’ll sleep with you!”

Only after I said that did Zhou Yuqing reluctantly let go of my hand.

The days grew warmer, and Zhou Yuqing’s condition gradually improved.

The divine physician even said that if his leg was properly cared for, he might be able to walk normally again-at the very least, he wouldn’t need his walking stick anymore.

On the day of the Great Heat, the date for my wedding to Zhou Yuqing was finally set.

It was scheduled for a year from now, though of course, that depended on his behavior.

The wedding dress and bridal jewelry had to be ordered a year in advance.

When the dressing lady came to style my hair and measure me for my clothes, Zhou Yuqing watched me for a long while. Taking advantage of a moment when no one else was around, his face flushed, and he quickly pecked me on the lips.

“It’s only because I saw you wearing lip rouge-you looked like a steamed bun with a red dot on top, so I kissed you. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have…”

I put my hands on my hips, refusing to indulge his bad habits. “Zhou Yuqing! Speak like a human being! Stop being so mean to me!”

…

Zhou Yuqing’s face turned red all the way to the tips of his ears. Even when he spoke from the heart, he stammered: “It’s… it’s because I think you’re beautiful. The little freckles on your face are like stars, and the rouge on your lips is like honey. I couldn’t help myself.”

“Then will you stop saying such mean things in the future?”

“I’ll stop, I’ll stop.”

Nearby, a servant nudged Changle with his elbow, grinning and winking. “Look at our young mistress and the young master. What does this look like to you?”

The midsummer breeze blew through the willow leaves, curling them into scorched yellow wisps. It was so hot that the little black dog the young master had brought to please the mistress was hiding in the willow shade, sprawled out on the ground.

Changle rested his chin in his hand, squinting at the listless black dog for a moment, then at his own dejected-looking master. He chuckled. “It looks… it looks… it looks like dog training!”

***

Zhou Yuqing’s Side Story:

The first time he saw Grape, Zhou Yuqing disliked her intensely.

Grape was thin and dark-skinned, clutching a small, thin bundle in her hands as she peered curiously into the room.

Grape was the fifth bedchamber maid his mother had bought for him.

He had been despondent ever since his leg was crippled, and his mother had been worried sick over him.

She had bought four beautiful maids in a row, hoping they would bring some life back into him.

Zhou Yuqing didn’t take any of them. He simply had Changle ask them what they thought about the fact that the young master was a cripple.

Some said they didn’t mind, some said they pitied him, some said they were willing to serve him with all their hearts, and some even squeezed out a few tears.

No matter what they said, Zhou Yuqing felt they were pathetic for speaking against their hearts, and he felt ridiculous himself for the whole ordeal.

The only exception was when they asked Grape. At the time, she was vigorously polishing his purple bamboo walking stick, and she even asked Zhou Yuqing to give her a hand by bringing over a basin of water.

Realizing Changle was silent, Grape looked up and scratched her head in realization. “Oh, sorry, Young Master! I forgot you’re a cripple! I’ll get it myself, I’ll get it myself.”

Changle carefully watched Zhou Yuqing’s expression, thinking this girl would be kicked out today for sure.

Zhou Yuqing couldn’t explain the slight flicker of secret joy he felt when Grape said she had forgotten he was a cripple.

It had been a long time since anyone had treated him like a normal person.

Back then, he and Zou Bo’an had actually been on very good terms. Originally, when they were studying at the academy, neither was willing to yield to the other in their exams.

Even after he fell from a horse and broke his leg, missing classes while recovering, he still placed first when he returned for the exams.

Zhou Yuqing had been very happy, but later he overheard Zou Bo’an saying that he had deliberately let Zhou Yuqing win because he was afraid Zhou Yuqing would lose heart otherwise.

That kind of self-righteous kindness was a massive humiliation to Zhou Yuqing.

His personality became increasingly sensitive and strange, more and more paranoid and biting.

Later, his family was forbidden from mentioning words like “lame,” “run,” or “jump.” Eventually, any word related to legs was banned.

But the more they deliberately avoided those words, the more those words were repeated a thousand times in his mind before he even opened his mouth.

Changle wanted to say a few good words for Grape, so he asked her what she thought of the young master’s leg.

The question left Grape a bit confused. “What about it? My Erhei is a cripple too, and he still guards the house just fine.”

Changle hurriedly covered her mouth, thinking, *Please, just say less, you’re going to be the death of me.*

For some reason, Zhou Yuqing was actually moved.

*Let her stay.*

Making her bathe four times wasn’t because he thought she was dirty; he usually changed the water and bathed five times himself.

That pot of White Lion peonies was originally meant to give her some status, for fear that the ladies from noble families would look down on her for having nothing in her hands.

Comparing her to Miss Su wasn’t because he liked Miss Su; he was just wondering if his leg were whole, would he have been meant to marry a girl of equal social standing?

He didn’t know why he liked Grape. Was it really because his leg was crippled and he had lost his spirit, feeling that he was no longer worthy of a high-born lady?

So he spoke harsh words, belittling her and himself in the process.

It was his mother who saw through his blustering insecurity and offered a word of advice:

“Qing’er, you usually speak in an unpleasant manner, but remember that you must never say things that pierce someone’s heart. In life and in speech, you must always leave yourself some room for maneuver.”

While pretending to sleep, he had overheard her telling Changle that she planned to save twenty taels of silver for his birthday.

Zhou Yuqing had been genuinely happy, doing his best to find all sorts of excuses to give her money.

He wanted a set of clothes made by her, yet he feared that if she rushed the work, it would strain her eyes.

So he settled for fan tassels or jade cords-as long as it was a gift from her, anything was fine.

He had planned to tell his mother on his birthday that he wanted to marry Grape as his primary wife. He finally understood his own heart and vowed never to hurt her with harsh words again.

But that birthday gift turned out to be nothing but a hollow joy.

She wanted to go to the Zou Family, even going so far as to take the silver he had given her just to marry into their house.

“Grape, why don’t you look in the mirror? Besides me, who else would think anything of you?”

Zhou Yuqing, why don’t you look in the mirror? Who thinks anything of you?

“Look at yourself. Who would ever want you?

“No wonder you had to prepare twenty taels of silver. If you didn’t spend money, why would the Zou Family be willing to let you through their door?”

Look at your own crippled leg. How could Grape ever want you?

No wonder you had to buy a maid. If you didn’t spend money, who would be willing to stay with you?

Belittling her was also belittling himself.

The person who speaks the cruelest, most biting words is often just someone hoping for the most emphatic and earnest contradiction.

Unwilling to admit his heart had been breached and defeated, he feigned departure to blackmail her into asking him to stay.

But he forgot that both of them were handing over their true hearts for the first time, so neither was willing to bow their head.

Fortunately, there was a full moon that day, illuminating the tears on their faces and in their hearts.

Only then did their hearts soften amidst the pain, allowing them to show mercy and leave room for reconciliation.

To be honest, when he went back to find Grape, Zhou Yuqing had hesitated for a fleeting moment.

His leg was clearly on the verge of being cured, which was a source of great joy for him.

But the moment he thought of Grape being gone, the agony in his heart immediately overwhelmed that joy.

Let it stay crippled then. He had to find her, lest he live with regret for the rest of his life.

The doctor said he was very ill and needed to recuperate for a year or two.

Was he very ill?

Zhou Yuqing didn’t really remember.

He only remembered Grape being backed into a corner by others, her eyes filling with joy the moment she looked up and saw him.

He only remembered Grape crying, begging him to sell her, her tears falling hot against his neck.

He only remembered that no matter how far the road or how high the sky, he had to find her and bring her home for a full meal.

As he was thinking, Grape suddenly jolted awake from a dream beside him. She grabbed his sleeve with lingering fear, looking at him piteously.

“Zhou Yuqing, I dreamed of my Erhei.”

Erhei was the little dog Grape missed the most.

He was also the dog that Zhou Yuqing refused to admit, even upon pain of death, shared a striking resemblance to himself.

A dog with a crippled leg, a loud bark, and a huge temper-yet one who would always find her to bring her home for dinner when it got dark.

On the day Grape was sold, she worried that Erhei would be caught and eaten by others, so she secretly untied his rope and chased him into the mountains with a stick, weeping all the while.

Later, Zhou Yuqing went to look for him several times but never found him.

He only found a small black puppy that had just been weaned, perhaps Erhei’s offspring.

Grape’s tears began to fall in large droplets, and Zhou Yuqing’s heart twisted in pain.

His mouth, once so accustomed to biting remarks, now searched desperately for words to comfort her.

“Er-Erhei came to me in a dream. He said he’s the King of Dogs in the mountains now. He’s so happy he’s forgotten all about home, so he won’t be coming back for you.”

Grape stared at Zhou Yuqing suspiciously.

“Really? Did he say anything about when he was with me? How did he say it to you? You’re not allowed to lie to me!”

…

Right, how could a dog talk to him?

Would he say, “Grape, you have to listen to Zhou Yuqing and eat two more bowls of rice”?

Would he say, “Grape, you have to live a good life with Zhou Yuqing and eat two more bowls of rice”?

No, that’s not right. Erhei didn’t even know Zhou Yuqing, so why would he speak up for him?

“Erhei… he said… he said…”

Unable to keep up the lie, Zhou Yuqing could only take Grape’s hand as she wiped her tears. He opened her palm,

And with no other choice, he lowered his face into her hand to coax her, letting out a soft, low sound:

“Woof!”

(The End)