Chapter 4
By noon that day.
One sentence had earned Grandma the number-one trending topic.
[Girls Should Stay Home]
Number two was:
[Zhou Tang’s Grandma Has Feudal Ideas]
My agent sent me a screenshot.
And three words.
[Rein her in.]
I glanced at Grandma, who was peeling shrimp at the dining table.
I replied:
[Can’t.]
[She’s been the one reining me in since I was little.]
The director clearly couldn’t bear to let all that attention go to waste.
We were only halfway through lunch.
The camera came back on.
He carried a little stool over and sat beside Grandma.
“Grandma, this morning you said you wanted Zhou Tang to quit showbiz.”
She nodded.
“Right.”
“And that girls should stay home instead of working.”
“That’s right.”
His eyes lit up.
“So you feel women don’t need careers?”
Grandma’s chopsticks stopped.
She’d finally noticed something was off.
“When did I say they couldn’t have careers?”
The director looked baffled.
So did the livestream audience.
She frowned.
“I’m talking about this one. Mine.”
I was speechless.
Right.
Custom-made feudalism.
The director persisted.
“Then why shouldn’t Zhou Tang work?”
Grandma looked at him as though this were an exceedingly simple question.
“What does she work for?”
“To… fulfill her potential in life?” he ventured.
“To make money, obviously.”
“…”
“Does she need money?”
He looked at me again.
I nodded vigorously at once.
“Yes.
“Desperately.”
Grandma glared at me.
“What do you need money for?
“Why not just spend my pension?”
Everyone went quiet.
My chopsticks hung in midair.
The director stared for three seconds.
“Huh?”
Grandma began doing the sums for him.
“My pension’s over eight thousand yuan a month.
“There’s no mortgage to pay.
“How much can she spend in a year?”
I couldn’t help myself.
“Grandma.
“Please stop making me sound so cheap to maintain.”
“Quiet.”
She continued her calculations.
“While I’m alive, she spends mine.
“By the time I’m gone, her dad should be retired.
“Then she spends his.”
Excuse me?
My dad, secretly watching the livestream: Excuse me?
Grandma had even mapped out the timeline.
“Her dad’s twenty-seven years younger than me.
“There won’t be much of a gap.
“Her mom’s younger than her dad, too.
“Once he’s gone, she can keep going with her mom’s.”
I couldn’t hold back anymore.
“Grandma.
“Isn’t this plan of yours a little… ominous?”
Grandma looked puzzled.
“Who doesn’t die?
“Isn’t that what the social insurance calculations are based on?”
“…”
The director was utterly dumbfounded.
She wasn’t finished.
“Besides, I started paying her social insurance at the highest contribution level ages ago.
“By the time both her parents are gone.
“She’ll be able to collect her own pension.
“Doesn’t that cover the whole thing?”
Not a sound.
I looked down and counted.
Grandma.
Dad.
Mom.
Me.
Excellent.
A four-generation support chain.
Seamless handoffs.
The comments shot upward like mad.
[????????]
[I take back what I said.]
[The Qing dynasty may be long gone, but Grandma’s word is my imperial decree!]
[Grandma, don’t I look like your long-lost granddaughter?]
[Woman here. I wholeheartedly support this feudal remnant corrupting me.]
[People like this terrify me.]
[Don’t they say whatever you fear comes your way?]
[Come ruin me, Grandma!]
[Grandma: Work? We weren’t raised that way in this family.]
[Dad is currently alive and well, but his mother has already earmarked his pension for the granddaughter fund.]
Some viewers were very thorough.
[What about her son?]
The director immediately asked on their behalf.
“Grandma, what about Zhou Tang’s father?”
She looked confused.
“What about him?”
“Shouldn’t you feel bad about your son working so hard too?”
She looked even more confused.
“He’s a grown man with working arms and legs.
“He can earn his own.”
I had no response.
Neither did the director.
The comments:
[Zhou’s dad has left the livestream.]
[Favoring girls over boys: confirmed.]
[Dad: I grew up thinking I was an only child. At fifty I discovered I was a holding account for the next generation’s social insurance.]
I was doubled over the table laughing.
Even the director couldn’t help it.
“Aren’t you worried about making your granddaughter lazy?”
Grandma looked at him.
This time, she didn’t answer immediately.
After a while, she said:
“I said I’d support her.
“I didn’t say I’d live her life for her.”
The laughter slowly faded.
Grandma picked up a rib and dropped it casually into my bowl.
“She has to eat her own meals.
“She has to walk her own path.
“If she wants to work, she can.
“If she doesn’t, she doesn’t have to.
“I’m just telling her that if one day she really can’t keep going, someone will be there to catch her.”
I went still.
The director was quiet for a few seconds too.
“Then why do you keep telling her to quit showbiz?”
Grandma’s disdain returned.
“She’s been acting for five years and spent four of them dying.
“Wouldn’t you tell her to quit?”
“…”
The livestream dissolved into laughter again.
[Hahahahaha, five whole seconds of tenderness.]
[Grandma: I respect her life choices. Her life choices just keep dying.]
[Got it. Grandma doesn’t oppose women working. She specifically opposes her granddaughter working.]
[Basically: Other people’s children can do whatever they like. Mine should suffer as little as possible.]
That night.
The trending topics had changed completely.
[Three Generations of Seamless Pensions]
[Grandma, You Terrify Me]
[Supporting Her Isn’t Living for Her]
Five years into my career.
For the first time, I had three topics trending at once.
Not one of them concerned my work.
Very fair.