Chapter 3
Ke fell fast asleep on my shoulder.
He did not know that Lu Zheng had not always been like this.
When I was twelve, a plague of locusts struck my hometown in Qingzhou.
Along with the men who came to demand grain, many others arrived to buy girls for next to nothing.
A trafficker paid my parents two taels of silver and told them how fortunate they were. Young General Lu had won a victory, he said, and wanted girls brought to the northern camps as a reward for his soldiers.
I did not understand what “a reward” meant. I was a little afraid.
My parents coaxed me, saying I would cook, wash clothes, and clean for the soldiers.
Young General Lu knew that Huiniang cooked and did the washing in winter, worked the fields in summer, and took such good care of her little brother even when her hands were covered in chilblains. That was why he wanted to buy me, they said.
I believed them.
Before leaving, I secretly tucked our chipped water dipper into my bundle.
I thought it would be useful for cooking and scooping water at the army camp.
The farther north we went, the colder it grew. At every town, a group of girls was left behind.
When the cart finally reached the last town, the trafficker and Garrison Commander Liang pushed me before Lu Zheng.
“Look, General. They are all untouched. Clean, every one. I guarantee it.”
Only then did I understand that my parents had lied.
Lu Zheng crouched down and studied me with interest.
When he was off guard, I whipped the dipper from my bundle and brought it down hard on his head.
Blood immediately poured from his temple. Even I was stunned.
But instead of getting angry, he wiped the blood away and turned back with a grin.
“Not bad. How many more pretty little girls with tempers like this did you buy?”
Commander Liang hurried to flatter him.
“The earlier batches weren’t good enough. I wouldn’t have dared offer them to you.
“If you want them, I’ll have every one brought here!”
I did not dare sleep. Clutching my bundle and dipper, I stayed awake for two days.
On the third day, Commander Liang and the trafficker brought all the girls.
“Everyone here?”
“Every—”
Commander Liang looked down. A sword had pierced his chest. His head slumped, and he was dead.
The trafficker realized something was wrong and turned to run. Lu Zheng put an arrow through his head.
Not a trace remained of Lu Zheng’s careless, frivolous manner from three days earlier.
One sharp sweep of his eyes left the garrison commanders of the towns below trembling.
“A man goes to war to defend his home and country, so that his parents and children, brothers and sisters can live in peace.
“How is it that you gentlemen have become like those beasts in the north, abusing our own women?
“From this day forward, anyone in this army who harms women or children will be killed without mercy!”
Lu Zheng had Lin Anping treat the girls, then arranged places for them to go. They could return to their hometowns or stay in town and find work.
He would not let me stay, but he could not persuade me to leave.
“I can clean! Wash clothes and cook!
“I use very little firewood when I cook! I’m useful!”
Cook Chen looked at my small, skinny frame and snorted.
“General Lu, I’d like to keep her, but there aren’t any spare pots or bowls or dippers in my kitchen!”
“Th-that’s all right! I brought a dipper!”
I fumbled through my bundle and held it high above my head.
Silence fell. Lu Zheng instinctively put a hand to his bandaged forehead.
My face burned all the way to my ears.
“Since she’s brought a dipper, you’d better take her, Old Chen.” In the end, Lu Zheng did not hold that blow against me. He patted the cook on the shoulder. “Your pig’s head and braised dishes are the best. Don’t hold anything back when you teach her. That’s an order.”
After enjoying the spectacle for a while, the army physician Lin Anping teased him.
“Lu Zheng, you’re nineteen already. Aren’t you going to settle down? Find yourself a wife?
“That girl with the dipper looks fine to me. Strong, too!”
Lu Zheng stretched, not even looking at me.
“I can’t stand girls crying.
“Get married, and someone will boss you about for the rest of your life.
“Too much trouble. I’m never taking a wife.”
Afraid of being a bother, I rarely left the kitchen. I kept to my pots, bowls, and pans.
My only intrusion was the bowl of noodles sent to the commander’s tent late at night. For my own selfish reasons, I always hid an extra poached egg at the bottom.
It was enough to keep my affection and admiration for him hidden in my heart in just the same way.
Later, an enemy spy set a trap for Lu Zheng and poisoned him with an aphrodisiac.
When even the brilliant physician Lin Anping could do nothing, I gathered my courage, raised my hand, and whispered,
“I… I’m willing.”
As I turned away and lowered my head to fasten my clothes, Lin Anping urged me to stay.
“Lu Zheng will marry you. I’m sure of it.”
I shook my head.
Better to let it go. We were too ill-matched.
If I used the situation to force him, how would I be any different from the trafficker buying girls cheaply in a famine?
On the day I left, Lin Anping came to see me off.
Amid the swirling snow, I turned back with a strained smile, still nursing a little hope.
“If he asks about me, tell him I went home to get married.”
But he remembered nothing.
So he never asked.
He only looked puzzled over his bowl at supper.
“Huh? Why is there only one egg in my noodles today?”
I thought perhaps that was for the best.