Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The First Madam summoned me. Pochuan was kneeling inside as well. With rare gentleness, she said to us, “This pregnancy is very important to the First Young Master. I’ve heard that Pochuan has learned some midwifery outside. You are Bichuan’s good sisters, so you will accompany her to give birth in the room.”

I lowered my head and assented. When no one was around, I looked over Pochuan in delighted surprise, rummaged all over myself, and, cursing that I’d only brought something as valuable as a pair of silver earrings, hurried to take them off and stuff them into her hands.

But she wouldn’t take them. “You heard the First Madam,” she said. “I’m working as a midwife now; I won’t worry about my livelihood. Dong Laizi hasn’t treated me badly. I’ve settled down to live well with him. Look, even the manor is willing to hire me. Don’t worry about me.”

I was steeped in the warmth of our sisters’ reunion and failed to see Bichuan’s panic at the sight of Sister Pochuan, nor did I notice that flash of hatred in Sister Pochuan’s eyes.

Not until that bowl of postpartum tonic was fed into Bichuan’s mouth, and she began to vomit bright blood that wouldn’t stop, did I realize how absurd a thing had happened.

Sister Pochuan pointed at Bichuan and cursed crazedly, “Slut! That’s for stealing the First Young Master from me, for stealing my dudou and taking it to the First Madam to frame me! I was the one who should have been giving birth today-you’re the one who should be with Dong Laizi!”

She shoved up her sleeves; her arms were covered in scars. Laughing and crying, she said, “I put something in his wine too. You two can go be a pair of ghostly spouses underground! That’s what suits you, who conspired together to plot against me.”

From that string of mad ravings, I pieced together that Dong Laizi beat her every day. She had resigned herself-until one day that bastard got drunk and babbled nonsense, and she learned those dudou had been stolen out by Bichuan, the younger sister she trusted most.

Bichuan, vomiting blood, began to cry too, and then I knew it was all true.

I hated just as Sister Pochuan did, but I still couldn’t bear for her to die. I screamed myself hoarse, searched everywhere for help, but it was as if everyone had vanished with the child in their arms.

The one with more breath going out than coming in stopped me, her words broken and halting: “Don’t… don’t look anymore. Don’t you understand yet? It was the Madam… the Madam wants me dead. She’s afraid the child will hate her in the future, so she needs someone to take the blame for her.”

She looked at Sister Pochuan with a complicated gaze, half like a defense, half like repentance. “If a person doesn’t look out for herself, heaven and earth will condemn her. Since… since I was to be a concubine, naturally I sought the best place. The Madam came to me, said she would never let Sister Pochuan enter the courtyard. If I wouldn’t do it, she’d find someone else who would.

“The First Young Master has no son. If I bore one, he might one day be the master of the entire Marquis Manor. I was tempted-how could I not be?

“But the Madam clearly promised me she’d find a good steward post for Sister Pochuan. From the moment Dong Laizi appeared, I knew retribution was coming for me! Good Yaochuan, sister begs you one last time. I won’t live-take Pochuan away! Any later, and she… she won’t live either.”

In the warm sun of the seventh or eighth month, I was ice-cold all over as I dragged Sister Pochuan toward the outside. I knew that the other sister I had called by that name for ten years was in the room behind me, waiting to breathe her last, yet I had no way at all.

As I stepped over the threshold, her final cry rang out. She was shouting, “Sister Pochuan, we’re settled. My son, your mother won’t live to see you grow up-live well, live well!”

The madwoman beside me froze, clutching my hand so hard it truly hurt, but all I could do was push her onward, out toward life.

No one knows the little paths of the manor better than us maids.

Taking advantage of the emptiness, I dragged her to a small gate, pulled off my silver earrings and threw them to her, and shoved her out with all my might. “Sister Pochuan, forget it-be it hatred or pain. Both she and I want you to live.”

I didn’t dare meet her eyes. I just stumbled back the way I’d come, and as I walked, it was as if I’d boiled away the very last drop of blood from my heart. With a thud, I toppled over in the courtyard.