Chapter 3

For the first two years, she occasionally came back to see Zhan’er. In the years after that, she didn’t even have time to return.

A three- or four-year-old who saw someone lick shit would copy them just to find out how salty it was.

Zhan’er scarcely remembered Yang Yuehua. He trailed after Zheng’er all day, and when he heard Zheng’er call me Mother, he insisted on calling me Mother too.

I pointed to the portrait Yang Yuehua had left. “Be good. You can’t call just anyone Mother. She’s your mother.”

But what little child listens to reason? When I wouldn’t let him say it, he cried. After enough crying, he started calling me Mother along with Zheng’er.

When they were six, Bighead Xiao sent a Master Yao to teach them to read.

That revealed something extraordinary. Zhan’er was truly clever. He learned a character in two glances that took Zheng’er half the day. I was afraid Zheng’er would be upset, but the silly boy grinned. “Mother, my little brother is so smart. Why not give him my homework too?”

Born without an ounce of sense. A son really did take after his mother.

Still, Zhan’er had a sweeter tongue than Yang Yuehua. When his teacher rewarded him with cakes, he’d bring them back and hold them to my lips. “For Mother, and for big brother. We’ll all eat together.”

Sometimes I almost wondered whether I’d given birth to both of them after all.

Yang Yuehua, however, didn’t like it.

She returned on Zhan’er’s seventh birthday, dusty from the road, riding a swift horse.

Without having her arrival announced, she came into the room and saw Zhan’er bowing to me with his forehead against the floor. “Teacher says that on our birthdays, we should be especially grateful to our mothers for raising us. Zhan’er bows to Mother and wishes her a long life.”

A slap cracked across his face. Yang Yuehua said icily, “You little brat. Who are you calling Mother?”

Zhan’er burst into tears. A lovely birthday celebration was ruined.

But I couldn’t say much. The son she’d borne was calling me Mother. Naturally, that would upset her.

Wang Xinghua didn’t care. “Are you a bandit or a robber? You come home and start hitting people! Your boy was only three, and you weren’t here. He saw everyone else had someone to call Mother. Of course he wanted that too. Doesn’t calling Cuiying Mother prove she’s treated him well?”

Yang Yuehua rolled up her sleeve. “Do you think I was away enjoying myself? I risk my life on the battlefield so everyone can live well. Elder Sister, I’m grateful you’ve looked after Zhan’er. But he cannot call you Mother.”

Her bared arm bore several wounds, old and new, shallow and deep. The battlefield could take a person’s life.

Wang Xinghua fell silent.

I sighed. “Leave everything else aside. He’s your own son. He hardly remembers you, and the moment he sees you, you hit him. You’re the adult. You can’t expect a child to soothe you. If you want him to call you Mother, you have to win him over yourself.”

Yang Yuehua did, though not in the way we other women did.

Early every morning, she hauled Zhan’er out from under his covers, put him on horseback, and rode all over the city with him. She showed him sunrises and sunsets, and let him watch her drill soldiers and practice with her spear.

Within days, Zhan’er was looking at her with shining eyes. “You’re so impressive. Are you really my mother?”

Yang Yuehua ruffled his hair. “Yes. I’m your mother. Elder Sister is your First Mother. Don’t mix us up again.”

He cried when she left. This time, he couldn’t bear to part with her. He nearly cried himself into a fit.

I felt a little pang. But that night, Zhan’er brought Zheng’er into my bed. “First Mother, Zhan’er missed you. Put me to sleep tonight.”

I pinched his cheek. “Little thing. You changed what you call me quickly enough.”

He immediately hugged me. “First Mother is my mother too. Big brother can call my mother Second Mother from now on. We’ll both have two mothers. That’s one more mother to love us than other children have.”

Zheng’er’s eyelids were already drooping, yet he yawned in agreement. “All right. We’ll have two mothers. My brother’s smart. We’ll listen to him.”