Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After sobbing my heart out beneath the thatched shed, I finally became a true part of the Lin Family.

In the month or so since I’d arrived, I had refused to leave the house and resisted any contact with them.

It was because of that first night after I came here.

I woke in the middle of the night and heard the four of them crying in the room.

I pressed myself against the crack by the window.

I saw my mother holding my younger brother and sister.

My father sat off to the side, his eyes red too.

They were missing Lin Jiaoyue!

Through her tears, my mother said, “Jiaoyue should have reached Capital City by now. I wonder how she’s doing. I wonder if anyone is bullying her. She didn’t take a single thing when she left. She just held on to me and cried. But how could I keep her? Only by going to Capital City can she learn painting.”

My little sister hugged a small doll, her face swollen from crying. “Big Sister always held me while I slept before. Without her, I can’t fall asleep at all.”

My little brother lowered his head. Then, all of a sudden, he said, “Let’s go to Capital City! Let’s trade her back!”

My little sister immediately echoed, “Yes! Trade her back! Ji Yanning isn’t our sister!”

Hearing those words hurt so much.

I even thought to myself that I would never treat them as family for the rest of my life.

I still remember the night before I left Capital City. My mother held me and cried for most of the night.

She sobbed and said, “Yanyan, the palm and the back of the hand are both flesh. I can’t bear to part with you!”

Choking back tears, I asked her, “Mother, why must I leave just because Lin Jiaoyue has come back?”

I didn’t understand. Was the great Ji Family unable to support two daughters?

Even if Lin Jiaoyue was the True Heiress, I wouldn’t have been jealous of her.

But my mother said nothing. She only held me in silence for a very, very long time.

She prepared a great deal of silver for me.

Before I left, she reminded me, “Yanyan, hide all the money Mother gave you. Don’t let the Lin Family coax it out of you. If they treat you kindly, let a little slip through your fingers to keep them happy. If they don’t treat you well, endure it for a while. In the future, find yourself a reliable man… No, men aren’t reliable either.”

As she said this, my mother’s eyes were filled with sorrow.

She stroked the hair by my temples and said reluctantly, “My Yanyan has been clever and sensible since she was little. Mother believes in you. No matter when or where, you’ll be able to make a good life for yourself.”

My first night with the Lin Family, I was desperately lonely.

I opened a trunk, curled up inside it, and slept there for the night.

No matter how the Lin Family tried to please me afterward, I turned a deaf ear.

When I spoke of what had happened that night, I felt hurt and heartbroken all over again.

And then I started crying uncontrollably once more.

My younger brother and sister clung to my legs, wailing as they said, “Big Sister, we were wrong! Please forgive us!”

My parents’ eyes were red as well, and they kept apologizing.

But I knew it was only natural for them to worry about Lin Jiaoyue.

After all, Lin Jiaoyue had lived with them for sixteen years.

To them, I was only an outsider.

Still, over the past month, I had seen their sincerity.

Mother had gone out of her way to buy fine cotton to sew me a new quilt.

Father had spent a great deal of money on timber to build me a wardrobe.

My younger brother and sister had tried every possible way to cheer me up.

Time reveals the heart.

That was why I was willing to step outside today and go with them to deliver food to the fields.

My mother held my hand and said with aching tenderness, “It was our fault! From now on, we’re all one family. Let’s live our lives properly together. Our home may not compare to Capital City, but your father and I will do our best.”

My mother’s fingers had grown deformed from years of labor.

When Father was young, he had suffered greatly as an apprentice. On rainy days, his lower back hurt so badly he couldn’t even straighten up.

My little brother and sister were twins, a boy and a girl.

They were both eight years old, yet neither of them could read a single word.

Farmers spent the whole year tending the fields. It was exhausting, bitter work.

During the slack season, my father did carpentry for others, but the little silver he earned was only enough to make life a little less difficult.

They did not think of their lives as bitter.

But they also could not imagine any better way to live. Their world only stretched this far.

I thought of Xiao Tingyun.

I had heard he had already passed the provincial exam and even become the First-Ranked Jieyuan.

Only later, his mother had fallen gravely ill, draining the family fortune and leaving him buried in debt.

With no other choice, Xiao Tingyun had stopped studying.

I had money.

But I could not simply take it out to support Xiao Tingyun.

Men were all fickle, heartless creatures.

Even if Xiao Tingyun rose to power one day, there was no guarantee he would remember my kindness.

Nor was there any guarantee he would willingly help my family.

My heart was heavy, and for the moment, I could not think of a good solution.

It would be easy to use money to help my family escape their current hardship.

But silver would run out eventually.

When that time came, where would we go from there?

That night, my mother came in from the next room.

She sat by my bed and touched my forehead.

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

My mother said softly, “Yanyan, I know you got used to the good life in Capital City, and now you feel our family is living too poorly.

“But everyone has their own way of living. You don’t need to worry so much.

“All the things you brought back from Capital City have been put away properly. Don’t touch them. Keep them all for your dowry.

“Our family has done the Xiao family a kindness. Tingyun won’t easily break off the engagement with you.

“This is what I’m thinking. I don’t know if it’s right or not, so just hear me out.

“I watched Tingyun grow up too. He’s a good child.

“As for you, why not spend some time with him first?”

At this point, my mother began to cry.

She raised the back of her hand to wipe her eyes and said through her sobs, “In the end, it’s our family that has dragged you down. I’m afraid that if you miss your chance with Tingyun, you won’t find a better marriage afterward. After all, this is all our family has. Your father and I talked it over. We’ll sell half our fields and pay for Tingyun to keep studying. He’s ambitious. Once he succeeds in the future, you won’t have to worry about living well.”

For Xiao Tingyun to continue his studies, the cost would be no small sum.

Even if my family sold those few poor acres of land, it would not be enough.

I looked at my mother. Her expression had turned uneasy.

I listened carefully.

Why was there no sound of my little brother snoring from the next room? Why was there no sound of my little sister talking in her sleep?

I shot upright and raised my voice. “Where are they?”

Only then did my mother cry and say, “Your father took them into town. He’s planning to send them to work in the county magistrate’s household. They’ll sign ten-year labor contracts. They won’t have to worry about food or clothing, and they’ll earn silver every month. Going to the county magistrate’s house means they’ll live a good life. A good life…”

If it was a good life, why was my mother crying like this?

Serving as servants in an official’s household-how could that be simple?

Panic seized me. I grabbed my mother and shouted, “How long have they been gone? Hurry, we have to go after them!”

I pulled my mother and ran out the door.

To my surprise, Xiao Tingyun was already at the entrance.

He had harnessed a donkey cart. He glanced at me, then quickly looked away. “Get dressed properly. Get in.”

I looked down and realized my sash had come loose!

I hurriedly clutched my clothes shut.

After getting onto the cart, something suddenly occurred to me.

“No! We can’t just go like this!”