Chapter 9

Chapter 9

When I woke up, time had quickly jumped forward to my high school days.

What left the deepest impression on me was the Winter Solstice of my sophomore year.

It should have been an ordinary day, but it became a topic of discussion for a long time because someone jumped off a building.

The person who jumped was Li Mu, a classmate of mine.

In my memory, Li Mu was tall and thin, introverted and shy. His grades were mediocre, making him a ghost in the classroom.

In my previous life, I never had any interaction with him. It wasn’t until after his death that I learned about him through the gossip of our classmates:

His parents were both government officials, and his family was well-off.

But the day before he jumped, he had been forced by his parents to kneel all night because he didn’t do well on the last monthly exam.

Everyone said his mental fortitude was too weak.

As time replayed, I found myself sitting at my high school desk again on this Winter Solstice.

The school bell rang, and a thin figure limped into the classroom.

I watched Li Mu take his seat in the front row.

He was tall, but because of his parents’ influence, the teacher always arranged for him to sit in the first row.

He always habitually hunched his body, as if he didn’t want to block the view of the students behind him.

I didn’t want to meddle in other people’s business, but perhaps because we shared the experience of jumping off a building, my eyes couldn’t help but fall on Li Mu.

If my friends and family found out I had jumped, would they feel shocked but also think I was being dramatic? That my mental fortitude was weak?

In short, victim blaming.

So, I spent the entire day staring at Li Mu:

“Classmate Li, are you injured? This Swelling-Reducing Pain-Relief Tincture is very effective. You should try rubbing some on.

Classmate Li, you made so much progress in Chinese on the last monthly exam. You actually got the highest score in the entire grade for your essay! That’s amazing!

Classmate Li, do you know what ‘Know the Horse’s Strength’ is?”

He looked at me timidly, his eyelashes very long.

“Lu Yao?”

I shook my head and said with a straight face, “It’s Shang Yang who ‘Know the Horse’s Strength.'”

He froze for several seconds before bursting into a laugh.

I realized then that his features were actually quite handsome, with eyes like deep pools, though they were tinged with a bit of gloom.

When school let out at noon, I didn’t go to the cafeteria. Instead, I went to a snack shop at the school gate and bought two bowls of peanut-filled *tangyuan* to go.

Because in the previous life, Li Mu had jumped during the lunch break.

When I returned to the classroom, he was indeed there, with his last monthly exam paper spread out on his desk.

Li Mu was curled up in his seat, staring blankly at the paper that had already been graded and explained.

I placed the steaming *tangyuan* on his desk, giving him a start.

I sat down in his deskmate’s seat and said generously, “It’s the Winter Solstice today. My treat.”

Li Mu was at a loss, but under my urging, he obediently began to eat.

Outside the window, the winter wind was cold and gloomy, but the *tangyuan* in the bowl were soft, sweet, and melted in the mouth.

Li Mu and I chatted about this and that. When we talked about our dreams, he gave me an objective assessment:

“The cost of studying architecture is quite high. If your circumstances allow, then of course it’s fine. But your father and my father are colleagues at the same unit; I don’t think it’s likely he’ll support you. I think you’re quite suited for medicine. With your grades and the extra credit points, getting into A University Medical School shouldn’t be a problem. Chen Ran, instead of being controlled by others, it’s better to be independent and free first.”

As he spoke these words, there was a look of determination in his eyes.

My head buzzed, and it took me a long time to snap out of it.

A sense of familiarity welled up in my heart; this moment felt like deja vu.

But I was certain that in my previous life, we had never spoken a single word to each other.

When the wake-up bell for the end of lunch break rang, I returned to my seat. Li Mu did not go near the hallway railing again.

As time continued to reverse, I could only desperately try to remember, repeatedly chewing over my dull life in an attempt to slow down the cold countdown.