Chapter 3

Chapter 3

In a family with multiple children, love and resources are both limited. There is absolutely no such thing as treating everyone equally.

After my younger brother was born, that became even more true.

No matter what, Chen Shuyan was only a daughter in my parents’ eyes. She couldn’t compete with Chen Yaobao, so she came after me instead.

Because Mom didn’t like me, Chen Shuyan could naturally take over everything that belonged to me.

The New Year’s red envelopes from relatives went to Chen Shuyan. The snacks and gifts all went to Chen Shuyan too.

All I got to use were the bad things, the broken things, the old things, and whatever Chen Shuyan didn’t want.

Even after I got my first period, I had to pick through the sanitary pads Chen Shuyan had used and thrown into the bathroom trash can, looking for whatever was left.

My mom would only frown and say, “It’s not dirty. She’s your sister. What’s so precious about using hers?”

As for my dad, there was even less to say. He couldn’t stand hearing about women getting their periods.

It would dirty the ears of a big, manly man like him.

But Mom had clearly told Chen Shuyan before that sanitary pads had to be changed regularly, or bacteria would grow and she could get sick.

Even new sanitary pads had to be changed often, let alone ones that had already been used and thrown into the bathroom trash can.

So I didn’t use anything. I pulled up my pants and went to school.

The flow was heavy on the first day.

Blood spread in a large stain down the leg of my dark blue school uniform pants, scaring my teacher so badly her face went pale.

She hurriedly brought me to the office and asked, “Did you not know you got your period? If you didn’t bring a pad, you could have asked a teacher.”

“I knew.” I stood ramrod straight. “My mom said I’m not worthy of using sanitary pads, so I didn’t wear one.”

That was a huge problem. The teacher immediately contacted my mom and had her come to the school, then lectured her for more than half an hour.

When Mom came out, her face was flushed with embarrassment and anger. She pinched my arm hard. “Are you insane? When did I ever say that?!”

It hurt so much I bared my teeth.

“I want new sanitary pads!”

From then on, the sanitary pads my mom bought came in two types. She and Chen Shuyan used the famous brands, the kind that cost ten or twenty yuan a pack.

I could only wear the loose, bulk-packed sanitary pads that cost ten yuan for thirty pieces.

Why?

But it didn’t matter. Every day, I swapped mine with Chen Shuyan’s.

After she found out, she went to Mom in a fury and tattled on me, and I got another beating.

So what?

They couldn’t exactly lock the sanitary pads in a safe. And so, I won equal rights to sanitary pads in our family.

Mom keenly sensed the restlessness in my bones.

She was afraid I would fight and grab things from Chen Shuyan and Chen Yaobao, so at every meal, she would scoop rice into our bowls for us first, add the dishes, and then bring them out.

One bowl per person. On the surface, they were all covered with white rice and looked more or less the same.

Only my bowl felt light when I picked it up. Digging down, it was all old vegetable stems.

Beside me, Chen Yaobao suddenly cried out, “Whoa! There are chicken drumsticks today!”

Mom was afraid I would snatch his, so she quickly stuffed food into his mouth. “You and your big mouth! Don’t you know you shouldn’t talk while eating or sleeping? Hurry up and eat.”

Feeling guilty, she suddenly added to me,

“I’m doing this for your own good. Vegetables are nutritious. Girls don’t look pretty if they get too fat.”

I lowered my head and ate in silence.

The next day, while Mom was cooking, I rushed over and called out to her, “Mom, Yaobao is getting bullied at the entrance of the neighborhood! Hurry and go look!”

Mom quickly took off her apron and headed out, not forgetting to scold me as she went.

“I told you to watch your brother properly, and you can’t even handle one little thing. You’re such a useless waste. What good are you?”

Watching her curse all the way downstairs, I turned off the stove, lifted the lid, speared the chicken she hadn’t had time to cut up yet, and hid in the bathroom.

By the time Mom came back, the whole chicken had only its head and butt left.

She was so furious she grabbed the clothes-drying pole and chased me around with it. I dodged up and down with a grin, using my little brother as a human shield.

“Mom, if you don’t beat me to death, I’ll do it again tomorrow!”

Later, Mom got smarter. Even if she went to the bathroom, she would carry the pot away with her.

So I changed tactics. If I couldn’t do it at home, I set my sights on Chen Yaobao.

Mom and Grandma had raised him to be short and fat. He couldn’t even reach his own back to scratch it.

Every day at noon, I beat him up at school, took all the cookies, bread, and milk from his backpack, and threatened him too. If he dared tell on me, I would make sure he could only pee squatting like a girl for the rest of his life.

Chen Yaobao had been pampered at home for years. But ever since he stole money from the family and refused to admit it, then tried to pin the blame on me, only for me to set Mom and Dad’s wallets on fire and give him a sound beating too, he had never dared defy me again.

Cowering and useless, he eventually offered up his allowance with both hands. “Sis, just don’t flick my little willy. It really hurts.”

I bit down on the straw of my milk carton and gave a lazy hum.

“When Mom makes you late-night snacks from now on, remember to bring them to my room too.”

He glanced at me, furious but too afraid to speak.

I grinned. “I’m doing this for your own good. Don’t you know how serious the consequences can be if boys are obese during puberty?”