Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I bent down and picked up the gun from the floor. The instant my fingertips touched the cold metal, I trembled faintly.

I set the gun gently on the corner of his desk. Then, dragging my injured leg, I moved toward the door one step at a time.

With my back to him, I could feel his gaze landing on me.

Just as my hand closed around the doorknob, his light, airy voice drifted over from behind me, carrying a hint of an unreadable smile.

“A dog should act like a dog. Don’t get delusions of biting its master.”

My fingers tightened, my knuckles turning white.

I didn’t look back. I pulled the door open and walked out.

The door closed softly behind me, cutting off everything inside.

The light in the corridor stabbed at my eyes until they ached.

I leaned against the cold wall and slowly let out a turbid breath.

The wound was still bleeding. My whole body hurt.

But none of it compared to the hollow in my chest, as if it had been crushed over and over again.

He treated it like a joke.

He couldn’t bear to shoot dead a dog he’d kept for ten years.

He told me to get lost.

I raised a hand and looked at the cheek his fingertips had brushed just now. It seemed as if a trace of illusory warmth still lingered there.

I closed my eyes and let out a low laugh.

In the empty corridor, the sound was especially chilling.

By the time my injury was mostly healed, there was still a dull ache seeping from the seams of my bones.

Master Shen never called for me again.

I became a man with nothing to do.

I watched Ah Cheng, the guy who had taken my place.

Every day, he followed Master Shen in and out, handed him documents, opened car doors, lowered his eyes and obeyed, like a shadow.

When Master Shen had something to do, the one he called was “Ah Cheng.”

When Master Shen went out, the one he brought was “Ah Cheng.”

Even Master Shen’s cigars were now clipped and handed over by Ah Cheng.

I stood in the shadows of the second-floor corridor, watching Ah Cheng trail Master Shen out of the building step for step. Master Shen didn’t even turn back to look at me.

The thing in my heart felt like it had been soaked in vinegar, sour and bitter, impossible to fish back out.

Fuck.

I turned and went back to my room, slamming the door shut.

That night, I slipped into the messiest bar in the south of the city.

The music was deafening, the lights so dizzying they made my eyes swim.

I squeezed up to the bar and rapped my knuckles on the counter.

“Whiskey. No ice.”

One glass after another.

The alcohol burned down my throat, but it couldn’t put out the twisted fire in my chest.

All around me were writhing bodies, noise, chaos.

A man leaned in beside me, his cologne chokingly strong.

“Alone?”

I ignored him and tipped my head back for another mouthful.

The liquor was sharp and spicy, rushing straight to my skull.

“Fuck off,” I said.

The man slunk away awkwardly.

I ordered another glass.

All that kept swaying through my mind was Shen Jiuyuan’s expressionless face, and the calm, rippleless tone he used when speaking to Ah Cheng.

He didn’t need me anymore.

The thought was like a needle, stabbing me so hard I couldn’t sit still.