Chapter 3
The matron was so frightened she forgot all about rank. She pushed my head down in a bow to the noble consort and hurried us away.
She brought me to a residence in a very remote corner of the palace.
I tilted my head and studied the characters above it with curiosity.
“Palace of Spring Harmony.”
I liked that name.
It took quite some time before a maid came out to meet us.
The matron gave her a few instructions and left.
From behind, she looked rather as though she were fleeing for her life.
I carried my little bundle into the courtyard.
The maid assigned to me was called Cailian.
She had a very sweet, round face, with two dimples that appeared when she smiled.
Father had told me that once I entered the palace, I would be a lady of the court.
Lots of pretty girls would look after me.
Whatever I needed, I only had to tell them.
So I put down my bundle and declared to Cailian with tremendous spirit:
“I want meat!”
Cailian froze for a moment before understanding.
“Are you hungry, my lady? I’ll have your meal brought at once.”
With that, she bustled away.
After she left, I quietly took out the Rules for Surviving the Harem that my eldest sister had slipped to me.
The very first rule read: To be a proper imperial consort, you must speak to maids and eunuchs with authority. When necessary, give them a look and let them work out the rest. Make sure they know who is the mistress.
I thought I had shouted loudly enough just now, so I put a satisfied little tick beside that rule.
Before long, Cailian returned.
Another maid followed her, carrying exquisite dishes on a tray.
Once the food was laid out, only Cailian stayed to attend me.
Following the survival rules, I sat before the table with my nose in the air and a thoroughly arrogant manner.
But when I saw the dishes on the table, I gaped.
What… what was this…?
A tiny plate of pickled cucumber, a tiny piece of stewed meat, a tiny plate of fish, a tiny bowl of soup, and a great big bowl of stir-fried greens.
All the grandeur I had just mustered collapsed.
Was the palace this poor?
I ate more than this for breakfast at home!
Cailian was even more astonished.
She had never seen a palace lady clean her dishes so thoroughly.
I even used a steamed bun to wipe up the sauce at the bottom of the bowl.
Once I had eaten and drunk my fill, I began studying my eldest sister’s Rules for Surviving the Harem in earnest.
Rule Two: A proper imperial consort must be aloof. Ideally, never step outside your own doors. Draw as little attention to yourself as possible.
I was best at that.
And so, just like that, I missed the next morning’s audience with the empress.
When a large, burly matron came to fetch me, I was still asleep.
She stood beside the bed and called out in a less than respectful tone:
“Her Majesty the Empress has sent me to summon you, my lady.”
She was very loud.
She frightened me awake at once.
I looked over in bewilderment and blinked at her.
Seeing that I was awake, the matron called again in her rough voice:
“My lady, Her Majesty the Empress wishes to see you.”
I nodded and quickly got dressed.
Rule Three of Surviving the Harem: Apart from the emperor, the empress has the highest authority. Never defy her!
I looked at the matron, lifted my chin, and declared with tremendous spirit:
“Let’s go.”
The matron didn’t look very pleased. Her face stayed dark the whole way.
When we finally reached the empress’s residence, the room was full of people.
A crowd of beauties turned their heads as I entered.
The sight of them all at once was simply overwhelming.
My nose felt a little ticklish.
Someone suddenly cried out:
“Oh! Her nose is bleeding!”