Chapter 3
Chapter 3
I wiped the rain from my face and let out a soft sigh.
The Empress had meant to send one of her senior attendants to escort me out of the palace.
When the woman did not appear after a long wait, I turned back.
The hall doors were closed. Beneath the eaves stood a man holding a furled umbrella, watching me through the curtain of rain.
It was Zhao Xun.
I remembered then that before the imperial marriage decree in my previous life, the Empress had already tried to bring us together.
For a time, I had pursued him. I rode and hunted with him, and joined him at poetry gatherings beside winding streams.
His manner toward me had always been lukewarm.
Only after our betrothal did he smile at me, as if helplessly yielding to the inevitable.
“Spending my life with you may not be so bad.”
Without betraying any emotion, I stepped back, lowered my gaze, and dipped into a curtsy.
“Greetings, Your Highness.”
He descended the steps one at a time.
Seen through the rain, his features seemed dampened too, touched by an inexplicable loneliness.
“Why was it not you?” he asked.
He was probably only confused.
Between Li Shuanghua and me, the Empress clearly preferred me, and everyone knew I had once favored him.
I froze.
The servants around us had already withdrawn. When I did not answer, he lowered his head and looked at me.
The young Zhao Xun had always been quiet and distant. As if the words were difficult to voice, he hesitated before asking again.
“Why was it not you?”
“Mother Empress chose you first.”
I could not answer honestly.
I could not tell him how cruelly he had treated me in our previous life, or how completely he had broken my heart. Nor could I tell him that my hatred remained, and that I wanted not only to avoid marrying him, but to see him dead.
I pressed my lips together.
“Because Your Highness does not care for me.”
“It would be painfully dull to spend the rest of one’s life facing a person one does not love.”
He had once said the same thing.
He told me Consort Chen was different, that she was the woman in his heart. So I yielded again and again to preserve peace on the surface, even personally persuading the Empress Dowager to relent.
Nor had I forced him to spend the latter half of his life resenting the sight of me.
I had died young.
So young that my mother’s hair had not yet turned white when she stood at the palace gate to see my coffin pass.
The official histories praised my virtue and condemned Consort Chen in the same meticulous strokes.
But when I thought about it, a virtuous reputation was useless. Wealth and power vanished like smoke after death.
Only those who loved me had suffered, while those who hated me rejoiced.
This time, I intended to live well.
Zhao Xun fell silent. His hand tightened around the umbrella handle until his knuckles paled.
“What if I told you…”
Heavy raindrops struck the edge of my umbrella.
“Your Highness,” I interrupted softly, “the rain is growing worse. If I do not leave now, the road will become difficult.”
The doors behind him opened. A senior palace attendant emerged with an umbrella and greeted us with a smile.
“Your Highness, Her Majesty and Second Miss Li are waiting for you inside.”
She turned to me. Seeing that I already had an umbrella, she offered me a handkerchief instead and reminded me to dry the rain from my clothes.
I accepted it with thanks.
His words cut short, Zhao Xun said nothing more. His gaze lingered on me for a moment before he withdrew it and walked into the hall.
As the doors swung nearly closed, the voices of the Empress and Li Shuanghua drifted out in easy conversation.
They seemed to mention Zhao Xun.
He gave a soft laugh and replied with a few words of his own.
The attendant escorted me out of the palace.
The palace road was long.
Only people of exalted rank were permitted to travel it by sedan chair.
After walking for some time, my shoes and stockings were splashed through, leaving me in a sorry state.
The attendant helped me into my carriage, then suddenly sighed and said with pointed regret, “What a foolish choice, miss.”
“Even this servant could see that the Prince of Wei had begun to care for you.”
Was it truly affection?
He was simply unaccustomed to my abrupt change.
Still, I knew she meant well.
Everyone knew the Empress had no sons of her own, yet favored both the Prince of Wei and the Prince of Qi.
No crown prince had been named. As the elder of the two, the Prince of Wei had the better chance at the throne.
I lifted the carriage curtain with one finger and gave her a gentle smile.
“That is not the future I want.”