Chapter 7

Perhaps I had bragged too boldly and then failed to take my own promise seriously.

The following year’s wish already belonged to the moon, yet on my birthday I grew greedy and wished for something else.

So my wish that Chunfeng would find the right man came only half true.

He was indeed a good man. Unfortunately, while unloading cargo at the docks, that good man saw the once-exiled Deputy Censor-in-Chief returning to the capital in triumph.

For several days afterward, he vanished as unpredictably as a dragon glimpsed only by its head.

Then, a few nights after another birthday had passed, I heard him say, “My lady, I wish to make a journey to the capital. I hope you’ll permit it.”

Chunfeng’s chopsticks paused. I could not read her expression. “How many days?”

Sun Zhong pointed at the calligraphy sheet on my desk. “I will return before Zhenzhen finishes that inscription.”

“Very well. Take plenty of silver.” Chunfeng placed the last yellow catfish in his bowl.

I leaped up in protest. “Mother! Don’t let him go! What if he leaves and never comes back either?”

Chunfeng pulled me down and told me not to get agitated.

How could I not? I had spent so long investigating before choosing this father. Grievance flooded me. I stopped eating, flung myself onto the floor, and kicked wildly.

“What do you need to do in the capital? Didn’t you say the winter sandstorms were terrible? Are you going back to eat dirt?”

Sun Zhong let my heels batter his legs. Calmly, he removed the bones from the fish one by one, divided it in half, and put a portion into each of our bowls.

“Father promises you he’ll return. Besides, it would be far too hard for your mother to save up those mountains of gold and silver all by herself.”

I thought of the past several years. Not a day had passed when he did not cut wood or carry cargo, and he still fought to do the chores when he came home.

Neither Chunfeng nor I had suffered chilblains on our hands in winter since he arrived.

My martial arts had improved steadily, especially my grappling. He had taught me every move himself. The academy director had even said he planned to meet my father at year’s end and, if he possessed genuine skill, hire him as an instructor the following year.

I had devoted my whole heart to treating him as my father. Now my stepfather was imitating my birth father and abandoning us too.

I cried until I hiccupped. Chunfeng hauled me up, patted my back, and soothed me.

“Don’t cry, Zhenzhen. This time, I certainly won’t let him go for good. If he doesn’t come back, I’ll take you to the capital and find him!”

“Really?” I sobbed, seeking reassurance again.

She gently wiped my tears. “Really. If I break my word, I’ll never look for another man as long as I live!”

Such a solemn resolution finally quieted me.

Sun Zhong left the next day. I watched Chunfeng weigh out more than half the silver from the cabinet and make him hide it in several places on his person.

He told her to keep it for herself and me, but she insisted.

“I know you come from wealth, but at present you have none of it. A traveler should never be short of money.”

I hid behind the door and poked out my head. “Father, you have to come back.”

He turned. “Don’t worry! I’m counting on you to become the top military scholar, so I can be father to the champion.”

The winter wind was cold and damp. Fish and meat Sun Zhong had salted still hung in the courtyard. The firewood was piled high and neat. Clothes washed the night before hung beside Mother’s forge, already dry from the heat.

Chunfeng drifted into a daze several times and grew absentminded at the anvil.

I came home punctually after school and stayed beside her with my little white cat in my arms.

That night, she opened my door and squeezed into my bed.

“Mother, did Father say why he’s going back?” I asked.

“He says he grew up with the Crown Prince. The prince is in trouble, and he cannot stand by.” Her voice in the dark was perfectly casual.

I shot upright and shuddered in the cold. She quickly dragged me beneath the quilt again and tucked it around me.

My teeth chattered, but his outrageous excuse still demanded comment.

“You believe he’s the Crown Prince’s childhood friend? You might as well believe I’m a commandery princess’s daughter!”

The little white cat burrowed beneath my quilt and meowed in agreement.

The breathing beside me grew slow and even. I thought Chunfeng had fallen asleep and closed my eyes.

Then I heard three soft words.

“I believe him.”