Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I sat up, clutching the thin blanket.
“I want to go home.”
She thought for a moment, frowning slightly.
“You mean Yanzhou? That place is occupied by Western Xia, and Han people aren’t allowed near it. But I’ve heard Western Xia wants to form a marriage alliance with us. Once a child of the imperial clan is married off to them, I could take you back to Yanzhou for a visit.”
I nodded. “Alright.”
She then changed the subject to the day’s events and reached out to touch my forehead.
“When you’re well, go apologize to Zhu’an.”
I leaned back to avoid her hand, my throat feeling choked, making it hard to breathe.
I could only turn my head to look out the window.
Outside, it was dim and dark.
“I did nothing wrong, so I won’t apologize. Your Highness, please leave.”
Zhao Xizhen fell silent for a moment, then slowly stood up.
“Ziyou, your temper has grown worse.”
She looked down at me.
“I am already betrothed to him. No matter what, you shouldn’t have made him lose face.”
I lifted my head and stared straight at her. “But I am a Commandery Prince, am I not?”
Though I have no fief, I still hold official rank, so there’s really no need for me to defer to the son of the Duke’s Mansion.
Even if he is the future husband of the Crown Princess.
Zhao Xizhen was speechless.
She glanced around the hall, and seeing it filled with gifts, she ordered that half be sent to Meng Zhu’an’s residence in the palace as an apology.
I stopped her. “No, these are for my future-”
“Future? Future take them where?” she asked warily.
I caught myself, afraid of her suspicion, and changed my wording. “For my bride price when I marry and start a family. I need to save them for myself.”
Zhao Xizhen was at a loss for words.
She changed her method of punishment.
“For the next seven days, you will copy out the Standards for Being a Good Pupil and Child one hundred times. I’ll send someone to collect them daily.”
Suffering from a cold, I stayed up late copying, stroke by stroke, and between the lines, all was love-sickness and distress.
Before I leave this place, I must first cut her out of my heart.
Every day, when those stacks of paper were taken away, my feelings felt as if they were being pulled out, growing fainter day by day.
Until seven days later.
Above the Eastern Palace, sky lanterns floated up like stars that filled the night sky.
The candlelight shone through, mingling with ink marks, densely packed, all in my handwriting.
“Commandery Prince, I found out-it was the Crown Princess who released them.”
Could it be that she was conveying her feelings to me?
I agonized over it for a long time.
Not wanting to leave any chance for regret, I still ran toward that place.
On the viewing platform of the Eastern Palace, the Crown Princess and the legitimate son of the Duke of Meng stood side by side. She looked down at Meng Zhu’an, her eyes brimming with tender smiles.
She really is clever.
To come up with such a method to apologize to her betrothed.
When that glance inadvertently swept over me, the smile in her eyes froze for an instant.
Panicked, I turned around and, leaning on the palace wall, fled.
Along the way, the cold wind cut my face, leaving it numb and frozen.
By the time I had fled far enough, I realized, belatedly, that my face was already covered in tears.
But that’s fine. Cutting out flesh and blood is supposed to be excruciating.
I picked up a sky lantern that had fallen into the muddy grass.
Slowly, I held it to my chest.
Once the pain has passed, once it’s carved out cleanly, it gets better, doesn’t it?