Chapter 4

“Hanzhang! My child! Quickly, save the young mistress!”

It was my mother, Lady Zhou.

She rushed toward Yun Hanzhang in a panic, heedless of her fallen hairpins and disheveled hair.

Once Hanzhang had been brought down, she gathered her into her arms, weeping with heartache.

“Hanzhang, why would you do such a foolish thing?”

“Didn’t we agree to switch your marriages? She’ll marry the Pei family’s wastrel, and you’ll marry the Zhou family’s top scholar. She’ll deal with that courtyard full of monsters at the Peis’, while you enjoy the peace and security of the Zhous’ distinguished scholarly household in her place.”

“Your father and I have arranged everything for you. Why are you still trying to die?”

“Must you tear your mother’s heart out?”

Her cries were anguished, her feelings sincere.

I stood beneath a dim lantern in the covered walkway. The cold wind stung my nose.

So hearing my own mother say such cruel, blatantly partial things could still make me ache uncontrollably.

Fifteen years.

I still stood before her, yet Yun Hanzhang alone filled her heart and eyes.

Was something precious simply because I had never had it?

I didn’t know.

A father’s and mother’s love looked truly wonderful.

But they had never loved or protected me.

“Mother!”

Yun Hanzhang slowly came to. Her terrified eyes fixed on me.

“She’s trying to kill me!”

Lady Zhou followed her gaze to me.

Her breath caught.

There was nothing in her eyes but alarm, an indescribable distance, and resentment.

She had beautiful eyes. I could find neither joy nor tenderness in them.

Her gaze even skimmed straight past me to Yun Cimu’s injuries behind me.

Then her expression changed completely.

“Cimu! Who hit you?”

Yun Cimu shrank back a little and answered meekly:

“I sparred with my sister. I lost.”

“It’s nothing. Someone always wins and someone loses. Mother, I was simply outmatched.”

Lady Zhou’s gaze snapped back to my face.

“You wounded your brother and forced your sister to hang herself. You stand before me without so much as a greeting or a bow. How can you be so vicious, so ignorant of proper conduct? Have you no humanity?”

I took a step toward her.

Perhaps the lantern made the killing intent in my eyes unmistakable. When Yun Hanzhang cowered and cried out in fear,

Lady Zhou looked up sharply.

“Surely you don’t mean to hit me too?”

A faint scoff escaped through my teeth.

“I won’t hit you.”

She relaxed a little.

Then I added:

“Like Yun Cimu, if you want to beg something of me, you’ll kneel.”

Her head jerked up, her dark eyes widening.

“I’m your mother. You want me to kneel to you?”

I studied that face, its shamelessness wrapped in genteel composure, and answered her word by word.

“When she was born, you cried with joy and treasured her.

“When I was born, you blanched and called for my death.

“She was frail, so you kept her beside you, giving her fine clothes, fine food, everything she needed.

“I was strong, so you threw me into a neglected courtyard, where I ate thin gruel and cold rice and lived in a crumbling room, unsure I’d survive the next day.

“Every year she got more jewelry. Her dressing case was overflowing, and you still thought you owed her more.

“I had nothing. Grandmother sent me one jeweled hairpin, and because she said she liked it, you reached out and took it.

“When she pretended to be bedridden, you stayed with her day and night.”

“When your sleeping powder left me unconscious for ten days, you only hoped I’d die on the estate.”

“Lady Zhou, whose mother are you?”

As the words left my mouth,

I lashed out with one foot.

With a crash,

the lotus jar beside us shattered.

“Who wants a mother like that?”

Flying fragments slashed Lady Zhou’s face. She touched it, saw a handful of blood, and sagged in terror.

Filthy water splashed everywhere. Clutching Yun Hanzhang, she collapsed into it, trembling all over.

Even then, she argued under her breath:

“You’re a curse. You ruined the family. You ruined me. It’s human nature to seek good fortune and avoid harm. What have I done wrong?”

“Mother!”

Yun Cimu tried to stop her.

But she lifted her head and spat out each word.

“What? Hasn’t she harmed me enough? People look down on me because I gave birth to her, and now even complaining is wrong? They all say the same thing. If she’s so capable, let her silence every last one of them.”

My mocking gaze traveled slowly over her face.