chapter 1
I was simply too kindhearted.
So when I realized that my husband’s family had backed the wrong side in the struggle for the throne, I decisively turned over every piece of evidence against them.
It was the only way to save the entire Song clan.
I knelt before the new emperor and presented all their crimes. In his mercy, His Majesty spared the Song family on the condition that only Song Lin’an had to die.
When I carried a cup of arsenic to Song Lin’an, he was lost in grief. He finally stopped pretending, took out a portrait of my elder half sister, and wept until his eyes were swollen.
“We were not fated to be together in this life,” he murmured. “I can only hope to see you in the next.”
My elder half sister had died the day before in childbirth. Song Lin’an had suppressed his love for her for years.
Even I found it tragic.
Ah, my heart was much too soft.
That was why I did not have the heart to tell him that his aunt, the empress, was dead, his cousin the crown prince was gone, his father had been assassinated, and his mother had died from the shock.
The man who had taken the throne was the Second Prince.
The palace servants were still waiting outside for the result, so I had no choice but to lift the arsenic to Song Lin’an’s lips.
“My sister is dead, and since your devotion runs so deep, you should join her. No need to thank me. Nothing delights me more than helping true lovers fulfill their wishes.”
I kept all those upsetting details from him to the very end.
His eyes bulged, and he died with them wide open. He even tried to struggle as he swallowed the poison.
But really—better a short pain than a long one.
I was helping him suffer less.
“You… vicious… woman…”
After forcing out those final words, Song Lin’an departed this world for good.
Naturally, I was heartbroken. Everything I had done was for him and for the Song family, yet he had cursed me as a vicious woman.
Fortunately, the new emperor did not hold the rest of the Song family responsible after Song Lin’an’s death.
A few months later, one of his concubines bore a son, allowing me to become a mother without enduring a moment of labor. I had the boy adopted under my name and raised him with great care. He passed the imperial examinations, entered officialdom, and restored the Song family to its former glory under my management.
I lived to eighty, kept several handsome companions over the years, and enjoyed a rather comfortable life.
When death finally came, I was surrounded by twenty or thirty children and grandchildren, all sobbing around my bed.
My goodness must have moved Heaven, granting me such a peaceful end.
When I opened my eyes again, I found Song Lin’an glaring at me.
He had lost control of his temper. “The Song family will never let a vicious woman through its doors! I will marry only a truly virtuous lady!”
With that, he looked toward my elder half sister.
I glanced around and realized I had been reborn—on the very day our betrothal was to be settled.
“I am ending this childhood engagement!”
Our two families were supposed to formalize the match that day. In our previous life, Song Lin’an had yearned for my elder half sister, but because I was the legitimate daughter, he had buried those feelings.
From the look of things, he had been reborn too.
A woman as goodhearted as I could hardly cling to a man who wanted to leave. I could only grant his wish.
“Very well. Since Young Master Song is resolved to end the engagement, I will not force you. May you soon find your perfect match and fill your halls with children and grandchildren.”
My blessing was entirely sincere.
Song Lin’an lost his composure on the spot. “Shut up, you vicious woman! Do not think you can bewitch me again!”
I stared at him, speechless. Further explanation was clearly pointless, so I hid my expression behind my handkerchief.
Without me reporting the Song family’s crimes and sacrificing my marriage for the greater good, why would the future emperor ever spare them?
It was not that I refused to save the Songs. Song Lin’an simply would not give me the chance.
The Song family did not believe his one-sided claim that I was vicious. To compensate me, they gave me two shops.
I accepted only to put their minds at ease. I was always thinking of others.
Song Lin’an could not immediately ask for my elder half sister’s hand without inviting gossip. At least he was not completely hopeless.
Still, he was no gentleman. The moment he left the Wei residence, he spread rumors everywhere and did his best to ruin my name, insisting on branding me a “vicious woman.”
My grandmother and father felt sorry for me and gave me an estate as well.
Father’s concubine already knew about her daughter’s affair with Song Lin’an. Burdened by guilt, she stayed up several nights sewing me new outfits for spring, summer, autumn, and winter.
I advised her with complete sincerity, “Song Lin’an is fickle and unworthy of trust. You should talk some sense into my elder sister.”
The Song family was doomed to be uprooted sooner or later. Why should my flower-like sister go there to die?
Tears of gratitude filled the concubine’s eyes, though a dark shadow passed through them. Through clenched teeth, she said, “How thoughtful of you to worry so much about your elder sister.”
I nodded. “It is only right.”
I could not bear to watch anyone march to her death.
Yet the very night after I warned her, the concubine arranged a secret meeting between my elder half sister and Song Lin’an.
I was devastated. In my grief and indignation, I furiously devoured a whole soy-braised duck from Chunque Pavilion and told Xiao Tao, “I have done everything I can. If my sister refuses to listen and dies later, she cannot blame me.”
Xiao Tao agreed wholeheartedly. “My lady is so beautiful and kind. How could you ever be wrong? They are the ones at fault.”
Her words reminded me of something.
Since I was kind, I had every reason to help that ill-fated pair fulfill their desires.
The next time Song Lin’an met my elder half sister in secret, I invited the noble young ladies of the capital in advance. Under the pretext of “watching a play,” I let them witness the lovers’ tryst with their own eyes.
Now the Wei and Song families had no choice but to discuss another marriage.
Song Lin’an could finally wed the woman he loved, and my elder half sister could marry into a grand household.
Everyone won.
A living bodhisattva like me was rare indeed. I nearly wept at my own virtue.
Standing outside the side chamber, I dabbed at nonexistent tears with my handkerchief and offered the couple a brilliant smile. Being moved by my own goodness was one thing, but I truly did wish them well.
My elder half sister glared at me with venomous hatred.
Song Lin’an pointed at me furiously. “You vicious woman! It was you again!”
I was baffled.
He was slandering me. My kindness had been repaid with cruelty.
Wounded by the pair of them, I threw myself into the arms of a noble young lady and wailed.
Some gossipmonger then claimed that Song Lin’an and my elder half sister had conspired to deceive me. The tale spread from one person to ten, then from ten to a hundred.
Within three days, the entire capital knew that Song Lin’an had broken our engagement because he had been carrying on with my sister behind my back.
The lovers became despised by all.
Naturally, I could not stand by and do nothing. Weeping, I pleaded for mercy and went everywhere speaking in their defense.
“This is not my sister’s fault, nor Young Master Song’s. If you must curse someone, curse me alone.”
“It is all my fault…”
“What wrong can there be when two people truly love each other?”
Somehow, the label of “vicious woman” vanished from my name.
Quite a few young noblemen began showing interest in me. They praised my beauty and my benevolent heart, and my reputation improved beyond anything it had ever been.
I truly had no idea how matters had come to this.
Perhaps good deeds really were rewarded.