Chapter 2
I looked down instinctively.
My cloak had come loose, leaving my collar slightly open and a stretch of my neck exposed.
Near my collarbone, an orchid showed faintly on my skin.
The scar beneath it had come from the day he lost his footing climbing a rockery and I broke his fall with my body.
The wound had healed, but a scar remained.
He had ordered the imperial physician to tattoo it into an orchid, saying that would make it prettier.
I usually kept myself well covered. Few knew of it, and fewer still had seen it.
Back then, I had been the empress dowager’s most trusted maid.
I could read and write, keep accounts, and prepare medicinal meals.
More than once, with me present, the empress dowager had told the crown prince when he came to pay his respects,
“Qingtang is attentive and composed. I shall have no worries with her serving you.”
Everyone in the inner palace, eunuchs and maids alike, understood that I was intended for the crown prince’s bed.
They had even begun calling me Auntie Tang, half in jest and half in earnest.
All that stopped the moment he met Ye Lanzhen.
He had eyes for no one else, neglecting even the bride the late emperor had personally chosen for him.
Even after the Ye family was imprisoned for embezzlement, its members killed or scattered,
his affection had allowed Ye Lanzhen to live as comfortably as a pensioner in the palace labor quarters.
Then he ascended the throne, the empress dowager passed away, and he made her Noble Consort outright.
From all the waters in the world, he truly drank only from that single cup.
I gave up any thought of becoming a mistress myself.
That was what I decided, and that was how I behaved.
For two years, I had stayed quietly in my place, compressing every hope into one word: wait.
At twenty-five, I would be old enough to leave the palace.
My family and I would find somewhere no one knew us and live in peace.
But the Noble Consort could never leave well enough alone. She did nothing but brood over love and shed tears.
Then the emperor lost patience, and Lady Shen stepped into the breach.
When the news arrived, the Noble Consort swept everything off her dressing table, her face contorted with sobbing.
“Liar.”
“He swore he would only ever love me! Liar! He is a liar!”
“Qingtang, what is so good about that Shen woman? Is she prettier than me? Does she understand him better?”
“Bah! She only has her fine birth. If my father were still alive, what would Shen Lianxi amount to?”
She wept bitterly, but I could not offer a single word of comfort.
The charges against the confiscated household of the Duke of Ye had filled three volumes.
It was said that the seized silver and land were worth three years of the treasury’s revenue.
She was a sheltered young lady, spending her days immersed in wistful love and romantic sorrow.
It had never occurred to her that her moonlit romances and exquisite suffering were castles in the air, built upon the ruin and death of other families.
Exhausted from crying, she curled on the couch like a wounded cat, tears still clinging to her lashes.
Matron Cui covered her, gently lowered the bed curtains, and signaled to me.
We tiptoed into the outer room and both breathed out.
Matron Cui looked worn out. “Quiet at last. Go and rest. I will keep watch tonight.”
I shook my head. “You should rest, Matron. I am young. I can manage.”
She did not argue again, but left with a hand pressed to her waist.
I stayed in the outer room, leaning against the incense brazier, and dozed off.
Some time later, a sound came from behind the curtains.
I lifted them. The Noble Consort’s hair hung loose, and she was staring straight at me.
“Qingtang, I have worked it out.”
“We need someone close to us at His Majesty’s side.”
My heart lurched as she said, “I have decided to find you a good husband.”
“Wang Gongquan serves His Majesty in person. No one could be more considerate.”
“Marry him and you will be the chief eunuch’s wife. Think of the splendor.”
“Then you will be the first to know everything that happens around His Majesty.”
She looked at me triumphantly, as though this were a splendid idea.
I had no chance even to resist.
I thought of running. I even thought of dashing my head against a wall.
But where could I go?
Her people were everywhere. A maid like me could not so much as get out of Cheng’an Palace.
That night, two matrons escorted me under guard to Wang Gongquan’s room.
Matron Cui unfastened my clothes herself, wiping away tears. “Poor child. These are Her Highness’s orders. There is nothing we can do.”
Only after making certain I was wrapped securely in the bedding did she close the door and leave.
I did not know how long I waited before Wang Gongquan returned from duty.
When the candle caught, he turned and saw me on the bed.
I huddled beneath the covers, eyes shut, even my teeth trembling.
A long time passed. Nothing happened.
Then a very soft sigh came from the doorway. “Do not be afraid, miss.”
I opened my eyes. He had turned his back.
“I understand what Her Highness intends. But I have served in this palace for twenty years, and I do not do such filthy things.”
“I will speak to her myself. You may go.”
Shaking, I sat up, retrieved my clothes from the floor, and hastily wrapped them around me.
“Thank you, Eunuch Wang.”
He did not turn, merely waved a hand.
I opened the door and all but fled.
Seeing me return alone, the Noble Consort instantly understood that her plan had failed. She slapped me across the face.
“Useless creature!”
I knelt on the floor, my head ringing.
She glared at me, breathing hard, her eyes blazing. At last she waved a hand as though all her anger had drained away.
“Never mind. It is not your fault.”
She took a hairpin from her jewel case and thrust it into my hand.
“I have been out of my mind with worry these past few days. Do not take it to heart.”
I stared down at the gold hairpin and swallowed all my hurt.
In that moment, I finally understood.
I could no longer pin my hopes on Ye Lanzhen.
Her scheme to give me to a eunuch had failed today. What about tomorrow? The day after?
The emperor could enjoy Lady Shen’s company outside the palace.
He was beginning to act like a true emperor. In time, he would have a harem full of consorts.
Why should I not be among them?
The empress dowager had intended me for him in the first place. Why should I spend my whole life as a maid?