Chapter 5

The days slipped past like running water.

Yuan Xiu treated me like an object put aside: no questions, no concern. When he occasionally visited, his gaze was still cool and appraising.

I paid it no heed. Sometimes I went to the ruined wall outside the city and gazed into the distance.

I had heard this was where the two countries had once fought, where countless wronged souls lay buried.

Where the murdered prisoners’ bones were buried, too.

The yellow sand had long since weathered to an ocher red.

If anyone asked, I only said,

“I’m a little homesick.”

The maids cautiously brought me news. A beauty had been offered as tribute from the Western Regions. She had been named Ruoniang, and the king was very fond of her.

As they spoke, they kept stealing glances at my face.

I worked my needle without looking up. “I see.”

My thoughts had never been here, after all.

What did it matter to me whom he loved?

What I had not expected was for his affection to be paraded deliberately before me.

Yuan Xiu would bring Ruoniang to a corridor I had to pass through. At banquets, he would let her nestle beside him, smiling sweetly.

At such moments, his eyes always strayed toward me with a questioning look, as though by chance.

I understood what lay behind that look.

A test, nothing more.

He wanted to know whether I loved him.

Men had always counted their power over a woman’s affections among their conquests.

How childish.

When he came at night, he was still possessive and demanding. Yet in some pause he would abruptly mention her. “Ruoniang dances well. Her waist is more supple than yours.”

With my eyes closed, I felt the roughness of his palm and answered evenly, “Is it? Then you should visit her more often.”

He stopped and caught my chin, forcing my eyes open.

In the darkness, his gaze was unreadable, tinged with the irritation of a man whose intentions had been seen through.

I did not care.

My palm rested over my belly.

None of it mattered.

I only had to protect what was inside.

But however much I wanted peace, others would not allow it.

Ruoniang’s provocations became increasingly blatant.

I smelled something wrong in the pastries she sent. I fed them to a sparrow beneath the corridor roof instead. It fluttered a few times, then went rigid.

The maid went white with fright. I brushed the crumbs from my fingers. “Throw them away.”

My forbearance only emboldened Ruoniang.

One day, she happened upon me beside the lake.

The spring water was still cold, and the ornamental carp drifted lazily through it.

Ruoniang blocked my path, her smile alluring, her eyes venomous.

“Enjoying yourself, Your Highness?” She stroked the gold bracelet on her wrist, her voice sharp. “What a pity. His Majesty says you’re as dull as a block of wood. Less entertaining than the fish in this pond. At least they can amuse him.”

“So much for Han women.”

She deliberately raised her voice, her gaze sliding past me.

The mirror of the lake clearly reflected Yuan Xiu striding toward us beneath the distant covered walkway.

At once, I understood what she wanted: to anger me.

To make me lose control, so Yuan Xiu could witness his jealous, vicious queen for himself.

Very well.

I looked up into her challenging eyes, and the faintest smile curved my lips.

She faltered.

Just as Yuan Xiu drew near, I raised my hand and shoved Ruoniang hard in the shoulder.

“Ah!” Her shrill cry split the quiet.

A splash!

Water flew everywhere.

Ruoniang flailed in the icy lake.

Yuan Xiu stopped short on the bank. His hawklike gaze fixed on me, furious and appalled. “What are you doing?”

I stood by the water, my splashed skirts clinging to me.

No panic. No explanations.

I did not even glance at Ruoniang struggling in the water.

Under his furious stare, I simply turned and walked toward him.

One step. Two.

Until I was right before him, ignoring the cold anger radiating from him and the astonished eyes around us.

I rose a little on tiptoe and leaned toward his ear.

“Your Majesty, do you know something?”

My voice was so low that only he could hear.

“I’m pregnant.”

As the words left my lips, I leaned backward and fell without hesitation into the icy lake.