Chapter 3

Yujingzi shuddered from head to toe.

He trembled, his misted eyes on the verge of tears.

“Spare this humble monk. Please, Princess… let me go.”

“I refuse.”

I straddled his lap and kissed the reddened corners of his eyes, then his crimson lips.

He shook beneath me, his Adam’s apple bobbing as his chest heaved.

Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead.

“Such torment, my dear Yu.”

“Look at you. How did you end up in such a state?”

“You’re always claiming to have cast off every worldly passion and desire, but that isn’t what I see. Right now, my dear Yu… you’re ravenous.”

“Shall I let you eat your fill?”

As he stared at the sight before him, the taut string inside him finally snapped.

Several days later,

I returned from an outing and sat reading in my study.

An attendant reported that Yujingzi had recently locked himself in his room and refused both food and drink.

I did not even look up.

“Tell him that if he continues his hunger strike, he will be brought straight to my bedchamber.”

Zhuyu was grinding ink beside me. She asked in confusion,

“Your Highness, there are handsome men everywhere, all fighting for the chance to serve you. Why set your heart on such a stuffy, stubborn monk?”

I smiled. “There is something about him that draws me in for no reason I can name.”

From the first moment I saw him, Yujingzi had felt different from everyone else.

He was like a piece of white jade, smooth and lustrous. I wanted to keep him in my hands and stroke him every day, until trembling pleas polished him into something even more exquisite.

“This servant thinks the hostage prince from the Southern Territories, the one who arrived in the capital two days ago, is the truly remarkable one. He’s so magnificent that the sight of him takes your breath away. Why not go see him, Your Highness?”

I raised a brow.

“A hostage prince?”

“If he has earned such praise from you, perhaps I’ll have a look in a few days.”

That was what I said, but my heart was entirely occupied by Yujingzi. I had no real desire to see anyone else.

Yet Yujingzi never stopped vexing me.

Every time, I had to order men to drag him before me. Once there, he would still talk of escaping and make me angry.

“Princess, please release this humble monk.”

I pressed the pad of my thumb to his Adam’s apple. “Say that again.”

“I beg Your Highness for mercy.”

At the end of my patience, I pushed him down on the gold-threaded couch and kissed him until his breathing broke apart.

“Mm, Princess, you mustn’t…”

I gave him a light slap. “Why make such noise? Are you determined to let everyone hear you?”

His lips quivered, and he closed his eyes with a broken, helpless expression.

It satisfied my darkest predilections beyond measure.

Day and night,

I humiliated Yujingzi, shackled him, and claimed him wholly as my own.

“Say it. You belong to me.”

He remained silent.

I forced his lips apart and made him say it, even if the words came out as broken whimpers.

At last, driven nearly mad with frustration,

I took him to Daoqing Temple. Before the Buddha itself, on the prayer cushion where he meditated every day, I slipped my hand beneath his monastic robe and did as I pleased.

Torn between morality and the pleasure of his body, his scalp prickled. He bit his lip hard and breathed with desperate care.

The corners of his eyes turned wet and red, yet even his tears had to remain silent.

He was so pitiful that the sight made my heart tremble.

But he was impossibly obstinate. No matter how he was treated, he refused to yield.

Instead, he urged me in a hoarse voice, “Princess, do not continue down this deluded path.”

I hated him like that.

He had broken his vows.

He clearly took pleasure in it too.

And still he looked at me with those clear, dark blue eyes, shook his head, and said it was forbidden.

It left my chest tight, my heart stifled, and my mind in turmoil.