Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Xie Zhixing escorted me back to the old residence, then continued attending court as if nothing had happened, despite the pressure from the Princess’s Residence. One day, after court, His Majesty kept him behind and said he intended to bestow a marriage between him and the Commandery Princess.

Under the astonished gazes of everyone present, Xie Zhixing took out a length of white silk, hung it from the pavilion, and his peerlessly handsome face filled with sorrow.

“It is the greatest honor for this subject to receive a marriage decree from His Majesty. Unfortunately, this subject already has a lawful wife, chosen by the elders of my family.”

“To defy an imperial decree is disloyal. To abandon my lawful wife is unjust. To betray the trust of my elders is unfilial.”

“If I must become a man disloyal, unjust, and unfilial, this subject is deeply ashamed and has no face to go on living…”

If someone truly killed himself because he was forced into an imperial marriage, even the emperor would be cursed by historians for centuries to come. His Majesty left with a dark expression and a sweep of his sleeves, paying no further attention to the Grand Princess and the Commandery Princess, who were waiting anxiously not far away.

All their pressure came to nothing. The Commandery Princess quieted down for a long while. Then, one day, she suddenly appeared in the little mountain village where I lived, bringing with her a group of people dressed like roaming bandits.

To make the act convincing, she ordered those fake bandits to slaughter the village. Amid the chaos of clashing blades, the cries of old people and children rang out everywhere.

She had her people surround me. Raising a brow, she said mockingly, “Look, Qin Sang. All of these people died because of you.”

I was shoved to her feet. She ordered those men to violate me, specifically telling them to take their time and make me die as miserably as possible.

I glared at her with hatred in my eyes, grabbed the hem of her white skirt, spat on her, then resolutely smashed the wine jars all over the courtyard, set a fire, and burned myself to death.

My hands had been stained with mulberry juice from brewing wine, and it smeared onto the hem of her skirt, leaving mottled stains behind.

Having failed to humiliate me, the Commandery Princess was furious.

Even after I was dead, she still refused to let me go. She found a woman whose build was almost identical to mine, dressed her in the same clothes and jewelry I had worn, and had those men slash up her face until it was unrecognizable. Then, amid the girl’s shrill, agonized screams, they defiled and tortured her to death.

After that, she had rumors spread claiming I had seduced them, which was why I ended up dying miserably in the street. She stopped at nothing to ruin my reputation, eagerly waiting for Xie Zhixing to loathe me and cast me aside in disgust.

She went to comfort Xie Zhixing with a false show of sympathy.

But Xie Zhixing noticed the purple of the mulberry stains at first glance.

Perhaps he guessed something. In a panic, he rushed back, only to find black smoke, ruins, and charred remains.

He held those horrifying bones in his arms and sat all night among the collapsed, crumbling walls.

That packet of dried osmanthus fell out, scattering a few blossoms onto the darkened bloodstains on the ground. The fragrance of flowers mingled with the reek of blood.

At last, I understood why he had gone so far out of his way to buy osmanthus. I remembered what day it was.

Today was my birthday, and also the day I began brewing mulberry wine each year.

Xie Zhixing needed a great deal of money for his studies and the imperial examinations. I relied on my skill at brewing mulberry wine, selling it for silver to help fund his schooling.

Every year, in late spring or early summer, around my birthday, the mulberries would ripen. On this day, we would celebrate together, picking fresh fruit to brew new wine, then taking out the wine we had brewed at the same time the previous year to taste it. We would cook a whole table full of dishes and make a lively day of it.

I loved osmanthus cakes most of all, so Xie Zhixing had specially learned how to make them, steaming them for me in all sorts of different ways.

Before Xie Zhixing left for duty today, he had written me a letter and asked his pageboy to deliver it. He said that when he came back, he would make osmanthus cakes for his little glutton.

I made a lavish table of food, took out last year’s mulberry wine, and picked plenty of fresh mulberries to prepare for brewing.

Surrounded by the rich fragrance of wine, I waited the entire day. I did not wait for my husband to return. Instead, I waited for a group of villains and a great fire.

Xie Zhixing had gone halfway across the city to buy a packet of dried osmanthus and many little odds and ends. He had hurried home to see me. After all those twists and turns, all he saw were bones.

He had always feared loneliness. Yet there he was, all alone, sitting for so long in those deathly silent ruins. His elegant face was pale and drained of color, his whole body on the verge of collapse, as though he might shatter at any moment.

My heart suddenly clenched.

I wanted to go forward and hug him, but my transparent hands passed straight through his shoulders.

He could not see me, and I could not touch him.

And that heart of mine, which had clenched so painfully a moment ago, suddenly felt hollow and empty.