Chapter 5
Chapter 5
When the bed curtains fell, the lamps at Fengyi Palace were still burning.
Little Shunzi later repeated the whole story to me.
That night, when the empress learned that His Majesty was staying with me again, she dismissed every servant and sat alone at her dressing table, staring for a long time at the pearl-and-three-phoenix crown.
The powder had been washed from her face, revealing skin once darkened by the sun.
Three years behind palace walls had not bleached away the sunlight of Tianshui Village.
She put on the crown, took it off, and tried again.
No matter how many times she adjusted it, it never fit.
At last, she gave up. Leaving it on the dressing table, she went to the window.
Moonlight shone over wall after overlapping wall, each enclosing the next.
She stood there for a long while, then suddenly laughed.
The maids outside heard her but did not dare enter. They feared she would lose control as she had before and harm herself or someone else.
She said, “Yuan Xingjian, you liar.
“You said that once I came, you would no longer feel trapped. I have been here three years, and I still cannot breathe.”
She opened the window. Night wind poured into the unlit hall.
By the time the maids heard the sound and carried in their lamps, no one remained before the dressing table.
The phoenix crown rested in front of the mirror, pinning down a sheet of paper.
There were no words on it, only a drawing of a crooked tree covered in blossoms.
When she jumped, she wore the flowered jacket she had brought from Tianshui Village.
There was no cry for help, no weeping. Even the sound of her body striking the ground was dull.
A night eunuch found her.
At first, he thought the wind had blown down a piece of clothing. Only when he approached with his lantern did he see her face in the moonlight.
The eunuch knelt outside the Hall of Quiet Reflection. His voice trembled as he repeated the news again and again.
Yuan Xingjian’s hand was still at my waist. Neither of us had tended the fire, and it slowly died.
He did not ask why. He said nothing.
He simply sat on the edge of the bed for a while. His back curved slightly, as if ten years had fallen upon him at once.
Then he stood and walked toward Fengyi Palace.
He stumbled at the threshold.
Steadying himself against the frame, he stood for one breath before continuing.
Morning court convened as usual. Memorials were reviewed as usual.
He sat on the dragon throne, heard the civil and military officials report, and issued decision after decision, exactly as he had every other day.
Outside the windows, bells began to sound from the direction of Fengyi Palace.
One stroke after another.
Gradually, the officials realized something was wrong.
Those were not funeral bells. They were the ceremonial bells from the empress’s investiture.
Sixty-four strokes every two hours.
In life, she had hated the weight of the phoenix robes and crown.
He sent her on her final journey in the manner she had hated most.
The empress and His Majesty had been at odds for a long time, but both of their final breaks had followed nights he spent in my bed.
Men never studied their own reflection. They blamed the woman who had made them betray their vows.
I could not wait for his blade to fall.
I went to the imperial study for seven days. Yuan Xingjian still refused to see me.
As dusk approached again, Chief Eunuch Hai’s wrinkles pinched together.
“Noble Lady, the wind is rising. Please go back. His Majesty has said he will not see you.”
I touched the food box. “It is all right. I will wait a little longer.”
Chief Eunuch Hai stamped his foot and lowered his voice.
“Noble Lady, forgive this old servant for speaking out of turn. These days, every minister holds his breath while presenting a memorial. No one dares exhale too loudly.
“The two other mistresses of the rear palace will not court this disaster. Why must you?”
I smiled at him gratefully. “Thank you for the warning, Chief Eunuch. The wind is strong. You should go inside.”
The candles in the lanterns were replaced twice.
At last, the door opened.
“Noble Lady, His Majesty will see you.”
The imperial study was dim.
Yuan Xingjian sat behind his desk and did not look up when I entered.
I removed the dishes from the food box one by one and arranged them neatly. Then I stepped back and knelt.
His vermilion brush moved across a memorial. I waited in silence.
After a long while, he spoke with a mocking edge.
“Wu Lingzhao, you do not imagine that Yuke’s death has created an opportunity for you, do you?”
I knocked my head to the floor. “This concubine would not dare.”
“Ha. I think you dare a great deal.”
He came to me and seized my chin.
“Put away your schemes.
“Do not mistake a passing impulse of mine for your opportunity.”
So he truly had considered killing me.
“This concubine did not come seeking an opportunity.
“I feared Your Majesty was too grief-stricken to eat.”
The hand pressing into my throat stilled.
My eyes reddened further.
“The glutinous rice dumplings this concubine made are not as delicate as the imperial kitchen’s, and the braised tofu is only country fare.
“This concubine simply did not want Your Majesty to have no one left who dared bring you a meal.”
At last, his fingers loosened. He turned his face away.
The glacier was melting. Water had begun to run.
“You are not afraid I will kill you?”
I pressed my lips together. “I am.
“But I am more afraid that Your Majesty will starve yourself to death, and this concubine will be left with no one to fear.”
“You certainly dare to speak.” His voice was hoarse as he gestured for me to rise.
My knees had been on the floor too long, and I stumbled. Without turning, he held out a hand to block my fall.
“Go.”
“This concubine takes her leave.”
Keeping my head low, I reached for the plates.
“Did I tell you to clear them?”
“Oh… Then this concubine takes her leave again.”
Outside the imperial study, night wind rushed through my empty sleeves.
The food box remained inside, and the wrinkles on Chief Eunuch Hai’s face deepened.
“Walk safely, Noble Lady.”
Lantern after lantern receded behind me. Only after I turned the corner did I dare exhale.
He possessed the realm and all within the four seas. He had fought on battlefields and worked village soil.
He had everything except a heart that loved without asking why.
Thank fortune.
I had wagered correctly.