Chapter 4

Chapter 4

My roommate messaged me, saying Xiao Xu and I had made it onto the Wall.

Someone had filmed what happened in the cafeteria and posted it online.

Including the part where I cursed Xiao Xu out.

“Who is this girl? She’s so brave. Even the chancellor wouldn’t dare yell at God Xiao like that. Respect, seriously.”

“Of course. The chancellor’s still counting on God Xiao to win awards.”

“Found out who she is. She’s Xiao Xu’s junior in the same major. If she were from another department, that’d be one thing, but offending Xiao Xu in the same major? Tsk, tsk. She’s got guts.”

“God Xiao cares a lot about his reputation. This junior is done for.”

But that was exactly what I wanted.

I wanted him to hate me. To never want to see me again in this lifetime.

Compared to my suffering, what did losing a little face matter?

Rain began to fall outside the window.

And I thought again of the day Little Jade Peach died.

It had been a drizzly, overcast day just like this one.

I carried Little Jade Peach’s corpse to find Xiao Xu.

Only to witness, with my own eyes, the moment he cut down my imperial father.

In that instant, all the blood in my body froze.

Shen Qingyuan reminded him, “Xiao Lanting is here. Your Highness, shall we eliminate the root as well?”

Xiao Xu turned his head.

Half his face was smeared with blood.

His lifeless eyes fixed on me, murderous intent rolling off him.

I collapsed to the floor.

I did not know this Xiao Xu.

Cold. Terrifying.

Was this… the real him?

That day, too many people died in the palace.

Xiao Xu did not kill me, but he locked me away under heavy guard.

The eunuch who brought my meals said Xiao Xu was the surviving heir of the previous dynasty.

His entire family had died at my imperial father’s hands.

Everything he had done had only been for revenge.

For that day, he had plotted for a very long time…

A very long time. How long was that?

From the moment he married me?

Or from the moment he knelt in the snow and begged me to save him?

The Xiao family was wiped out.

My imperial father, my elder brothers, my uncles-not one was spared.

I wept day and night until I cried my eyes blind.

Only after Xiao Xu ascended the throne did he come to see me.

The eunuchs reported that I had tried to take my own life several times.

So Xiao Xu ordered every sharp object and every long length of silk in the palace taken away.

So this was what he meant by only protecting me.

Trembling, I asked him, “When did it begin?”

He did not answer. He only stroked my blinded eyes. “Lan Ting, you’ll stay with me, won’t you?”

I smiled.

That was the last time I ever smiled at him.

At first, Xiao Xu came to see me every day.

But I did not speak or smile or cry. I was like a stone statue, and that angered him.

Later, he came less and less often. From the palace maids, I learned that he was preparing to appoint an empress.

The woman he intended to appoint was none other than Shen Qingyuan, the rebel general who had fought by his side through life and death during the palace coup.

I sat silently by the window.

The solar term Gu Yu was almost here again.

Would I still get to eat peach blossom pastries this year?

No. That was not important.

I rose and put on the most magnificent palace dress I had ever owned.

When my maid Jinchan saw me, her eyes filled with tears.

“Greetings to Your Highness the Princess! May Your Highness live a thousand years, a thousand thousand years!”

Calmly, I said, “Jinchan, I am going to die.”

Jinchan’s voice shook with sobs. “Your Highness, please don’t give up on yourself. The prince consort, no, His Majesty doesn’t want you dead. He does care about you.”

“You are wrong.”

I shook my head. “I did not live for him, and I will not die for him either.

“Whether he regrets it or not is of no concern to me.”

Jinchan said, “Then you…”

“I am a princess of Daxu.

“While the nation stands, the princess stands. When the nation falls, the princess departs. This is my fate.

“The soldiers risked their lives for Daxu. As a princess, how can I remain trapped in this deep palace and disgrace my country’s dignity?”

I sat upon the throne at the center of the hall.

When I was little, the master of ceremonies used to chase after me, begging me to learn how to behave with proper dignity.

Now, at last, I had learned.

I sat perfectly straight, holding up the spine of a princess of a fallen dynasty.

“Xiao Lanting, Princess of Daxu, wishes to depart together with her country and her people!”

With that, I took the most expensive jeweled hairpin in the realm and drove it through my throat.

…

I was still trapped in my memories.

My roommate came back.

She gave me a strange look. “How are you this calm?”

I said, “It’s just the Wall. No need to get worked up.”

“No, I’m not talking about the Wall. The competition mentor assignments are out. Didn’t you check?”

She sounded a little surprised, and a little sorry for me.

“You’ve been assigned to Xiao Xu.”