Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Afterward, I went with Zhuzhu, and the Empress did not stop her from holding me.

Zhuzhu had broken out in a cold sweat. “What did Her Majesty mean? It was almost as if she already knew Number Two’s advisers were unreliable.”

“The imperial heart is an ocean. Do not try to read it. More importantly, what did you mean back there?”

“With Number Two behaving like that, my life isn’t easy either. I only thought that if mother and son could mend their relationship, things might improve.”

I glared at her. “Did you not come to the palace to see me?”

Zhuzhu clicked her tongue. “Honey, you relieve yourself on a golden chamber pot now.”

Fair. It was an excellent chamber pot.

I worried about something else. “Will you be all right after selling out Number Two’s advisers?”

Zhuzhu waved the concern away.

“It is fine. He would never do anything to me.”

Something about her tone bothered me.

What did she mean, he would never do anything to her?

I could not resist asking, “Zhuzhu, you have not actually started dating Number Two, have you?”

Absolutely not, she said.

“Do I look like an idiot to you?”

Whether she looked like one to me was beside the point. The Empress probably thought she did.

Yes. Her Majesty had just caught her squatting on the ground in earnest conversation with a lynx.

Zhuzhu froze, rose, and tied her tongue into a knot. “Y-Your… Imperial… Mother Majesty?”

The Empress was severe with her sons, but she did not quibble over every mistake their wives made.

“Go home,” she said.

Zhuzhu fled like a pardoned prisoner.

The Empress picked me up, settled me in her arms, and began stroking me.

It came naturally to her.

And I had grown used to it.

I was just arranging myself more comfortably against her when I heard her speak to her most trusted official.

“Investigate Princess Consort Yong’s birth family. Find out what they have been doing lately.”

My heart jumped.

Then I remembered that Zhuzhu barely knew the original princess consort’s family.

Surely the investigation would not uncover anything about her.

I was still worrying when Her Majesty abruptly asked a maid, “Has Jiaojiao’s bottom been washed?”

I stared into the void.

The maid hurried to answer. “Your Majesty, Her Highness Jiaojiao… refuses to let us.”

The Empress looked down and lectured me. “You cannot lick yourself clean, yet you refuse to let anyone wash you. What a disobedient little creature.”

I wiped myself perfectly well, thank you!

Besides, I was human. How could I lick myself there, or let someone else wash me?

This was the price of being too charming.

Truly.

The maid discussed my bathing habits with great enthusiasm, and the Empress did not even stop her.

Thus I received the great honor of having Her Majesty personally wash my bottom every day.

At times like that, I could only thank heaven that the sovereign was a woman.

After Her Majesty ordered Zhuzhu investigated, my heart remained suspended in my throat.

Eventually, Hu Yao reported that Zhuzhu had not contacted her birth family lately.

Number Two himself, however, had exchanged several letters with his in-laws.

The Empress gave a cold laugh.

She transferred Zhuzhu’s father straight to the frontier to drink sand and wind.

With that, Number Two lost his advisers, while the in-laws who might have supported him were sent far away.

Her Majesty also ordered Prince Yong’s residence watched.

Hu Yao later reported, “Prince Yong is despondent, but his princess consort remains constantly at his side.”

The Empress merely said, “Harmony between husband and wife is a good thing.”

I did not know whether they were harmonious.

The important point was that Number Two’s sources of support had been cut away, especially Zhuzhu’s bargain-bin birth family.

He no longer had the capital to argue with the Crown Prince every day and make himself conspicuous.

I breathed easier too.

While I struggled to adapt to life as a lynx, I turned one year old…

No. This lynx body turned one.

At last I had another chance to see Sis Zhu, because the Empress threw me a birthday feast.

By then, the entire dynasty knew how dearly Her Majesty loved her lynx.

She behaved with restraint, of course.

It was only a birthday, yet she arranged a small family banquet and invited all three sons, all three daughters-in-law, and several trusted ministers.

In other words, every grandest, noblest, and most powerful person in the realm came to wish me a happy birthday.

At the start of the feast, everyone scritched me in turn. I was fairly sure they rubbed off half my coat.

And never in either of my lives had I heard so much shameless flattery.

The aloof Crown Princess said, “Jiaojiao’s coat is magnificent, glossy and smooth. One glance shows how carefully she is tended.”

The timid Princess Consort He added, “Jiaojiao is plainly no ordinary lynx. She has an imperial bearing.”

Minister A said, “There is something of Your Majesty’s own majesty between her brows.”

Minister B said, “Even the tufts on her ears radiate dominance.”

Minister C said, “Never have I seen a lynx with legs so short. I now understand that she was born to be waited upon. She is an aristocrat among lynxes.”

Zhuzhu could not hold it in. She snorted with laughter.

Everyone turned toward her.

Zhuzhu went silent.

The Crown Prince disliked his showy second brother, so the Crown Princess naturally held no affection for Zhuzhu.

“What is it? Does Second Sister-in-law find fault with our praise?”

Zhuzhu hurried to answer. “No, no. I also believe Xiaoshui-I mean, Her Highness Jiaojiao-has a truly aristocratic air. Her short legs are adorable, and, well…”

Seeing her flounder, I climbed off my cushion.

Amid a chorus of delighted cries that Her Highness Jiaojiao was moving, I ran to Zhuzhu at the outer edge of the crowd.

The Empress looked over.

“Jiaojiao appears very fond of you.”

Under everyone’s envious gaze, Zhuzhu strained to lift me, baring her teeth with the effort.

“Ha. Haha. This daughter has always had a certain… affinity with animals.”

The Empress’s gaze fell on me. I hooked a paw around Zhuzhu’s arm at once.

There. My “owner” could see that I was pleased.

Her expression softened. “Then let the birthday girl sit with you.”

And so I took my place beside Princess Consort Yong, currently the least popular person at the feast.

Zhuzhu clung to me. “Your prestige is unbelievable now.”

My life was comfortable enough, but there was one problem: I had no one to talk to. It was tragic.

So the instant I had Zhuzhu, I babbled without end.

“My food and drink are all fit for humans now. I am used to walking on four legs, and to people watching me use the toilet, and to being forcibly…”

I had been about to say “forcibly having my bottom washed.”

I still possessed a shred of dignity, so I swallowed that part.

After chattering for ages, I realized Zhuzhu was not listening.

I looked up in surprise.

She was craning her neck toward the Empress, frowning hard.

Her Majesty had summoned Number Three, Prince He, to speak with her.

I felt a warning stir. “Zhuzhu?”

She combed through my thick fur with her fingers, bent close, and whispered, “Xiaoshui, Number Two has been idle for more than half a year. Have you heard anything from Her Majesty?”

I searched my memory.

“She has not mentioned Number Two. Lately, she talks about Number Three much more.”

“Do you think she plans to make greater use of him?”

I was getting angry. “Zhuzhu, tell me the truth. Are you in love?”

She nearly jumped. “I’m not! You are talking nonsense! I have not!”

I stared at her. “You have not even mentioned getting me out of the palace lately.”

Zhuzhu pressed her lips together. “You seem to be doing rather well here…”

Furious, I kicked her and ran away.