Chapter 3

I heard Shen Yan had some troubles lately.

But he wasn’t like he used to be. He no longer whispered all his secrets to me.

I wasn’t the same anymore, either.

Now I had legs. Whenever I missed him, I could go and find him.

I had only just reached the door of Chengde Hall when I heard him smashing things.

“Since when have the affairs of my inner palace been yours to meddle in?”

Eunuch Li stopped me outside the door.

I said nothing. Inside, I heard everyone drop to their knees.

“Your Majesty, please reconsider. The welfare of the realm must come first.”

I might be a flower, but I was Shen Yan’s flower.

After listening to him recite so many essays, of course I understood how important the realm was.

I handed Eunuch Li a box of pastries and asked him to take them to Shen Yan, then went back with Cuilan.

“What are you thinking about now, miss?”

I bit into my candied hawthorn skewer and watched the doorway. “I feel as though Shen Yan has almost forgotten how to smile.”

Since he came back, I had hardly seen him smile at all.

Cuilan sighed. “His Majesty doesn’t smile much, or talk much either. He speaks to you more than anyone else.”

She didn’t know.

Shen Yan used to smile all the time, and he looked so lovely when he did.

He loved talking, too. He always had endless things to tell me.

I wondered whether someone had bullied him while he was away all those years.

Glumly, I took the last bite of my candied hawthorn.

Just then, Shen Yan arrived.

Before he could come over, I lifted my skirt and ran to him.

He glanced at my sugar-sticky hands, then at the skirt I was holding, and frowned slightly.

“Wash her hands,” he told Cuilan, turning his head.

Only then did I look down at them.

They were rather dirty.

I hid both hands behind my back and followed him inside.

“Shen Yan, were you unhappy today?”

He stopped walking.

I stopped, too, and tilted my head at him. “I heard you smashing things.”

He suddenly smiled.

It was the first time I had seen him smile since his return.

And he really was just as lovely as he had been then.

He went to sit on the low couch before turning his smile on me. “My mother must have doted on you, for you to have grown up like this.”

I obediently let Cuilan wash my hands.

Only after she had dried them did I run over and sit beside him.

“The empress did love me. She said I was pretty.”

I swung my legs, then came back from my memories to ask, “Why were you angry today?”

He didn’t answer. Instead, he raised a hand to Eunuch Li, who was waiting outside.

Eunuch Li came in carrying my food box.

My eyes lit up as I watched him open it. Inside were the pastries I had brought Shen Yan earlier.

“Why didn’t you eat them?” I swallowed.

Shen Yan took out a flower cake and put it in my hand, his mouth curving. “I heard you were busy for quite a while. I thought you might not have eaten, either.”

“You should have the best things first.” Smiling, I held it up to his lips.

Something seemed to stir in his dark eyes. He parted his lips and took a small bite.

I leaned closer, curious. “Is it sweet?”

“Sweet.”

“Then let me try.” I popped the remaining half into my mouth.

He was lying again.

It wasn’t nearly as sweet as the candied hawthorn.