Chapter 4

I deliberately put on close-fitting clothes and made frequent appearances outside the courtyards of my father and Madam Song.

I had inherited my mother’s willow-slim waist. In those fitted clothes, it looked so supple and delicate that I seemed almost boneless. More than once, my father could not tear his eyes away from me.

From officials to imperial princes, the men of our dynasty all admired slender waists. My father’s obsession was merely the most extreme.

The naked lust in his gaze sickened me.

Several times, I nearly lost my nerve and abandoned the plan. At last, news arrived from the palace: while the emperor was visiting Song Zhiyin, one of his favored ladies had feigned illness and lured him away. Song Zhiyin became so furious that she nearly miscarried.

That night, Madam Song knelt in a temple until dawn, praying to the Bodhisattva to protect Song Zhiyin.

I found it laughable. If the Bodhisattva truly answered prayers, such wicked people would have been punished long ago.

Early the next morning, Nanny Sun came to fetch me. Her tone held its usual command. “Madam wants to speak with you.”

Joy leapt inside me, but I let fear show on my face and answered in a trembling voice.

For six years, I had cultivated this persona: a timid, obedient servant.

Nanny Sun plainly despised the sight of it. She snorted and strode away, leaving me to trot after her.

When we reached Madam Song’s courtyard, I found her and my father seated in the main hall.

I stepped forward, knelt, and paid my respects. Madam Song gave a cold snort. My father said nothing. From the moment I entered, his eyes remained fixed on my slender waist, gleaming with nauseating greed.

Neither spoke. I stayed on my knees with my head bowed, every inch the wary, submissive girl.

After a long while, Madam Song’s voice sounded above me. “Pack your things. You are going into the palace to care for your sister for a few days.”

It was an order, not a discussion. Yet I felt neither anger nor resentment. It was exactly what I wanted.

The next day, Nanny Sun escorted me into the palace under the pretext of visiting Song Zhiyin after her pregnancy scare.

At Song Zhiyin’s Auspicious Garden residence, Nanny Sun explained our purpose to the young eunuch guarding the gate. He nodded and went inside.

Some time passed. The eunuch who had gone to announce us did not return. Instead, two others emerged carrying a stretcher.

A white cloth covered it, the shape beneath unmistakably human. Whether by accident or design, one eunuch stumbled as he passed me. The cloth slipped away, exposing a woman’s corpse.

She wore a palace maid’s uniform. Her eyes bulged, her tongue protruded grotesquely, and two purple welts ringed her throat.

The blood drained from my face. Was this meant to cow me? A death displayed as a warning?

A palace maid came out of the residence. She picked up the fallen cloth, covered the body again, and scolded the two eunuchs. “Clumsy fools! Report to the Palace Punishment Bureau for discipline when you return.”

Both eunuchs paled at the name of the bureau, but neither dared protest. They bowed their heads, answered, and hurried away.

Once they were gone, the maid dipped in a shallow curtsy to Nanny Sun and me. “Please forgive that unpleasant sight. The girl had such a temper. Her Ladyship only scolded her a little, but she took offense and hanged herself.

“She was merely a lowly palace servant. What servant escapes a scolding? If she died over it, she had only herself to blame. This palace has no shortage of servants. A few die every day. We are all used to it.”

She spoke to both of us, but her eyes never left me. The words were clearly meant as a warning.

The white cloth had also been dropped for my benefit. How could the timing have been so perfect otherwise? And the two ligature marks on the dead maid’s neck, one light and one deep, could never have come from hanging. She had plainly been strangled first and suspended afterward.

I obediently put on a frightened expression. The maid smiled. “Please come in. Her Ladyship’s spirits improved the moment she heard you had arrived.”

With that, she led us inside.