Clever Protagonist

I got up in the middle of the night to wipe the condensation off the window—and suddenly saw comments floating before my eyes: [Why’s the sleeping wife awake?

The male lead’s downstairs in the garden, coaxing our sweet girl!]

[Please don’t catch them!

I’m waiting for him to get some right under his wife’s nose!]

[The sleeping wife mustn’t wake up!]

Without changing my expression, I breathed on the window to fog it up again, then turned and lay down.

Mustn’t wake up?

I’d never truly been asleep.

Everyone calls Xie Qingwei the finest nobleman in Shengdu, and Jiang Zhiyu has perfected every virtue expected of a woman to win his family’s approval.

Then a vision shows her the miserable future awaiting her as his wife.

Determined to escape, she points to the impoverished Xue Shao and declares him the man she loves.

But securing a better marriage is only the beginning: in a world that gives women so few choices, Zhiyu may have to find a higher place of her own.

Father said I had an affinity with the immortals and sent me up the mountain to become a nun when I was little.

Only as I grew older did I learn that the place where I lived was Mount Tai.

And the nuns of Mount Tai were no proper nuns.

Just as the “slender horses” of Yangzhou were not horses, and the boatwomen of West Lake did more than row boats.

Men came for the thrill of doing the most profane things in a sacred place.

Then the emperor himself climbed the mountain to pray for an heir.

And I became pregnant with his only child.

After I was exiled to the frontier, my fiancé took up with my younger half sister.

Everyone in the capital said she was my replacement.

Then she shattered a keepsake my late mother had left behind, and he stepped forward to protect her.

I drew my sword and pointed it at his throat.

If he loved her so much, he could die with her.

“The Ghost King? I’d say we’re about evenly matched. I solo-kill it all the time, too.”

So said Qin Lan, fresh out of a max-star horror instance.

Anomalies have descended across the globe, and all of humanity is now at risk of being dragged at random into horror instances, where evil spirits hunt them down.

Qin Lan, however, has awakened a bugged Talent that lets him reload without limit and stack his attributes with every death.

I was an emperor.

Now I have become another emperor.

But this one has made a miserable job of it.

The crown princess is sleeping with the imperial tutor in the Eastern Palace.

My daughter is imprisoned and humiliated in her own residence by her husband.

Even my favorite niece has been judged by the country-bred heir to the Marquis of Xuanyang: “Fit only for a concubine, never a wife.”

Well.

You are all remarkably brave.

How about we find out how sharp my executioner’s blade is?

You are a village girl from the mountains.

By a twist of fate, you save the Crown Prince from an assassination, and you leverage that debt to demand he marry you.

But he disdains your plain looks and gently refuses many times.

You settle for the next best thing and ask him to appoint you as an official.

Since you were five, you’ve decided you will rise above your station in this life.

If you become a consort, you’ll be like Wu Zetian.

If you become an official, you’ll be like Sima Yi.

After ten years in fandom, I transmigrated into a cultivation world as the female side character everyone hated.

“I order you to apologize to Junior Sister,” Senior Brother said.

“Before I apologize, there’s something you should know.

Junior Sister ships our founding matriarch with her partner.

She even called them a match made in heaven—a talented man and a beautiful woman.”

Senior Brother immediately rounded on her.

“You tasteless fool!

How is that freeloading pill-brewer good enough for our matriarch?”

I handed him a pile of miniature portraits of the matriarch and other merch, then clasped his hand.

“Exactly!

Our queen shines alone!

When will that pill-brewer learn to stand on his own?”

My fellow stan burst into tears and hugged me tight.

Then he stuffed a heap of magical artifacts and spirit stones into my arms.

The system was stunned.

“Host, do you realize you just got everything the heroine spent six months working for?”

I took a cigarette from the system inventory and lit it.

“A rival this weak?

I can take her out in one hit.”

My younger sister was blessed with heaven-defying luck, while I was a walking disaster.

Only later did I learn that she had bonded with a system.

She could choose one person to suffer misfortune and turn that misfortune into luck for herself.

I was the unlucky person she chose.

Then I bonded with a system too.

Mine had only one function: rewrite.

My sister remained lucky, but the people paying the price became my father, my mother, my brother, her boyfriend…

And she successfully turned herself into a jinx despised by everyone equally.

I entered a horror game, and the final boss asked how I wanted to die.

“Thanks.

I’ll take old age, after a long life.”

The boss: “…”