Cats
Palace Cats and Their Many Affairs
My imperial sister’s tomcat set his sights on my female cat and was rejected.
My mother consort ordered me to apologize, so I did.
The tom still refused to give up, and my cat’s other suitors beat him up.
Then Mother Consort told me to kill my “femme-fatale cat” to appease my sister…
This time, I refused.
“Think about who she is and where you stand,” Mother Consort advised.
Understanding dawned on me. “Oh. It’s because my mother is a coward.”
My mother might be a coward, but I was not.
Neither was my cat—she was, in fact, the greatest feline beauty in the entire imperial harem.
I Want to Pet the Cold School Heartthrob’s Cat
I wanted to stroke the aloof campus heartthrob’s…
cat.
In the middle of the night, I finally couldn’t hold back anymore and sent him a message:
[Hey, classmate, can I stroke it? Just once!]
Campus Heartthrob: [Classmate, that’s a little forward of you.]
I refused to give up.
[I’m really good with my hands. I guarantee I’ll make it comfortable! You just run one hand from head to tail, right?]
The other side went silent.
An hour later, the campus heartthrob finally replied:
[One hand won’t work.]
[You can’t get a proper grip.]
