Drama

“Madam, I’m planning to take a concubine.”

When Duan Qing said that, I was ironing the ceremonial robes he would wear to the palace tomorrow.

At his words, I nearly knocked over the iron brazier full of burning charcoal.

He sat there with one leg crossed over the other and went on as if it had nothing to do with me. “I’m bringing Miss Zhou into the household. A noblewoman from the former dynasty. You’ve met her.”

“Back when I followed the Emperor to fight for this empire, I lived with my head tied to my belt. Now that I’ve been made a duke, what’s wrong with taking the legitimate daughter of a marquis’s household as a concubine?”

“Old Han’s family are illiterate peasants, and even he married a girl from an earl’s household as his second wife!”

I looked at the utter entitlement on his face.

Then I took a deep breath. What was meant to come had come at last.

At thirty-eight, after spending half my life enduring hardship with him, it was time I enjoyed some peace and comfort.

And so, in the year I turned thirty-nine,

I decided to become a happy widow and savor the good life.

In the year I was desperately poor, I deliberately fed two of my fingers into the factory machinery and had them crushed, all for the thirty thousand yuan my grandmother needed for surgery.

The factory manager frowned with such pain that he wanted to compensate me eighty thousand yuan. I was too guilty to take it, so I only asked for thirty thousand.

Years passed. My grandmother had been gone for many years.

Then I saw a trending news report: the factory from back then had been swallowed by a fire.

The factory manager had died of a heart attack. His wife had vanished.

Their twelve-year-old son had been sent to an orphanage.

Looking at those helpless, terrified eyes on the screen, I poured the medicine I had been about to swallow down the drain.

Then… let me live once more.

For that thirty thousand yuan from back then.

While everyone else was fighting for the Emperor’s favor, I built an intelligence station in the cold palace.

Until the day he died, the Emperor never knew that the woman stirring up the hidden currents of his harem was someone whose name he could not even remember.

I died in Yongxiang Alley during my third winter there.

Not truly died-only the kind of death where your name is crossed out in vermilion ink on the registry.

They said Noble Lady Li, who had once worked in the imperial garden and was later favored by His Majesty for her beauty, had gone mad.

Because on the late Empress’s memorial day, I let my hair hang loose, went barefoot, and sang a rousing rendition of “Liangzhou Ci.”

In truth, I was not mad. I had simply calculated that the Chief Eunuch of the Directorate of Ceremonial would pass through the imperial garden that day.

Madness was the best pass in the cold palace, and the best armor.

On the day I moved into the West Third Institute, only one lame old eunuch came to lead the way.

The weeds in the courtyard rose past my knees, and the moss on the well curb was as thick as a velvet blanket.

My roommate, Attendant Li, had been thrown in here three years ago after offending the Imperial Consort.

When she saw me arrive, she did not even lift her eyelids. She only kept rubbing a length of hemp rope in her hands, its edges worn fuzzy.

I set my only bundle down on the crumbling earthen kang.

Inside were two sets of worn palace clothes, a bald writing brush, and half a ream of yellow paper.

The paper pasted over the window lattice had a hole in it the size of a fist. The north wind poured in with a howl, carrying the faint sound of pipes and flutes from far away.

I stared at that hole, but in my heart, a sliver of light slipped through.

In a madwoman’s world, there were the fewest rules.

Here, perhaps, I could live.

I am the Old Madam of the Marquis’s Mansion, and I wanted to save my granddaughter, who had been drugged.

Instead, I was forced by the lust-addled Prince Regent.

After one night of passion…

Me: “???”

Prince Regent: “???”

When I was young, I found the Crown Princess and took her begging for three years.

Later, after she was retrieved, the Emperor recognized me as his adopted son.

Everyone assumed I would marry the Crown Princess.

But she became engaged to the Duke’s legitimate son.

On her birthday, she declared with a mocking smile in front of everyone: “How could someone of royal blood be matched with a beggar?”

I raised my cup and sincerely wished her a worry-free life, year after year.

She didn’t know yet that I had already accepted the imperial decree of a marriage alliance.

And from that year on, she would have no worries, and no Ziyou.

Chapter 0

I was the most beautiful woman in the capital, but because I was a little slow by nature, no one dared to marry me.

The Fifth Prince pined after my legitimate elder sister to no avail, then gave up on himself and married me as her stand-in.

He mocked himself, saying, “A fool and a cripple. I suppose we really are a perfect match.”

Very generously, I comforted him. “From now on, I’ll be my elder sister’s stand-in, and you’ll be the Crown Prince’s stand-in. We can still live our lives just fine.”

At the homecoming banquet, I watched the Crown Prince and my elder sister exchange tender looks.

The Fifth Prince’s expression was terrible, and my heart ached bitterly too.

Everyone else laughed at us, calling us a lovesick man and a resentful woman.

After we returned home, the Fifth Prince wrapped his robes tightly around himself and sneered, “Don’t even think about touching a single finger of mine tonight!”

I obediently lay down beside him and repented.

Sigh. It was my fault. I had stared at the Crown Prince for too long.

I was half-asleep when the Fifth Prince suddenly shoved me.

Furious, he snapped, “Shen Yufu! Are you really that honest?! I told you not to touch me, so you actually didn’t touch me?”

I said honestly, “All right, then you pretend to be the Crown Prince, and I’ll pretend to be my elder sister.”

The Fifth Prince bit my lip, forcing me to shut up.

I thought to myself, Didn’t we agree to be each other’s stand-ins? Why is he angry again?

The Fifth Prince’s heart is truly hard to figure out.

Chapter 0

Chu Huai, the Crown Prince of Beijing’s Elite Circle, confessed his love to my roommate.

A helicopter showered flower petals from the sky, stunning the entire school.

But my roommate was distressed. She asked me:

“But I only see him as a bro… What do you think? Should I say yes?”

I said:

“Say yes. He’s rich and handsome.”

She narrowed her eyes, and the next second, shoved me toward Chu Huai:

“A Huai, my roommate seems to really like you!”

I stumbled and fell at Chu Huai’s feet, a sharp pain shooting through my knees.

Chu Huai didn’t spare me a glance, only looking at my roommate.

His dark eyes were somber, a hint of pain in them:

“Are you a block of wood? How could I possibly like trash like that! You know who I like, don’t you!”

My roommate tilted her head, as if she didn’t understand.

Her beautiful eyes curved, full of innocence:

“Wow, you two are so perfect together! A Huai, I’m kind of shipping you two. Mom, Dad, your baby is here!”

Chu Huai clenched his teeth. For a moment, no one dared to breathe, and a deathly silence fell over the scene.

But I have a severe people-pleasing personality and never spoil the mood.

I said:

“Yes, yes, we’re so perfect together! Hubby, hubby, gogogo, our baby is born! Haha.”

Madam Shen was unable to bear children, so she wanted to buy a respectable concubine to carry on the family line for Eldest Master Shen.

A respectable concubine received two taels of silver every month, and even got to eat white rice with braised pork.

The moment I heard the news, I immediately told my mother to take me into the city to sign up.

My mother smacked me on the head and snapped, “I’ve given birth to three children, and you’re the stupidest of the lot!”

Chapter 0

After my father beat me to death in a drunken rage, I was reborn as my grandmother’s best friend-an obstetrician-gynecologist.

Grandma asked anxiously, “Xiao Fang, is the baby healthy?”

I said, “It’s brain-damaged. I recommend aborting it.”

By sheer chance, I stumbled across a diary from a hundred years ago.

Its owner seemed to have been the young master of some wealthy household. Inside were little records of his daily life: “May 7, Year 14 of the Republic of China. Clear skies. I skipped class to play cards with my classmates, and my teacher chased me all the way home and scolded me. So annoying!”

I found it amusing, so I added a line beneath it: “May 2024. Been working for too long. Exhausted.”

The very next second, a sentence surfaced on the diary page: “Who are you?”