Comedy

I’m the number-one player in a horror game, and my clingy online boyfriend is ruining my clear times.

To get rid of him, I sneak into an SSS-ranked instance and send him a photo of my nemesis, the boss, claiming I’ve fallen for someone else.

His reply comes instantly: that is his photo.

Now he’s coming to find me.

I was a lackey working for a crime boss.

My job was to look after his beloved black kingsnake.

Thirty thousand yuan a month, with food and lodging included.

Once I’d saved enough to get married, I quietly ran off—with the snake.

Not long after we got back to my village, it fell ill.

One question to Doupao, and suddenly it all made sense.

But the snake was every bit as picky as its owner.

I searched the whole village before finding it the prettiest little female snake.

Thoughtfully, I placed their tails together.

Just as I was imagining all the baby snakes they’d give me, the black kingsnake turned into my boss.

And clamped a hand around my neck.

“You little troublemaker.

You really have no fear of death, do you?

How should I punish you?”

I have a temple in the human world.

Hardly anyone visits, but one girl came to pray three times.

The first time, she offered ten years of her life in exchange for her grandmother’s recovery.

The second time, she raised the offer to twenty.

The third time, she muttered, “Why won’t it work?”

“Because you’ve come to the wrong temple,” I said.

“I bury people.

I don’t save them.”

Unfortunately, she couldn’t hear me.

She still knelt and bowed, three times to her knees and nine times to the ground, then took five yuan from her pocket and put it in the offering box.

Who had lied to her?

I followed her out, back to a cramped, dilapidated alley.

A group of children crowded around her, laughing.

“The idiot’s here!

Come look at the idiot!”

She clutched her sleeves and said quietly, “I’m not an idiot.

“I’m just a little slow to react.”

While we were out at sea on a cruise ship, a tourist from Sakura Country put on a Night Parade of One Hundred Demons for us.

Everyone praised his superb magic tricks, never realizing that every last one of those “demons” was a real ghost.

He used those ghosts to blackmail the other tourists, so I gave him one hell of a slap.

“Within the borders of Huaxia, foreign entities are forbidden to pass!”

What he didn’t know was that I was the one and only Earth Master successor.