Comedy

My best friend pinned me against the windowsill when my heat struck without warning.

My whole body went weak, my breaths burning, like a fish dragged onto shore and left gasping for air.

He held my restless body down, a dangerously enticing smile curling at his lips.

“Beg me, and maybe I’ll consider sneaking in a little bite.”

I gazed at him through misty, tear-bright eyes.

“Please~”

I spent ten years loving my childhood friend, and he spent the same ten years finding me unbearable.

Then one day, I finally had my way with him—and left two hundred yuan behind.

Humiliated beyond measure, my childhood friend hunted for me everywhere.

But I made sure he never found me.

I hid from him for three years, until my father died and left me with no family.

His parents told me, “From now on, our home is your home, and that boy is your big brother.”

I looked at the face that went mad with shame and fury the moment he saw me, and called out brightly, “Hello, Big Brother!”

My younger sister and I are quick transmigrators who can never agree on how villains should be handled.

She believes in saving them with love.

I believe in eliminating the threat before it grows.

When identical worlds put our methods to the test, she keeps offering the villains mercy—and keeps dying for it.

I kill them first, seize every advantage, and rise to the top in world after world.

For two years, my online boyfriend and I have turned ordinary life into an absurd rich-heir role-play.

Then he adds me to his childhood-friends group, and I discover that every outrageous claim was true: he really is a powerful heir, and his so-called loyal lackey is the president of my company.

Convinced I have deceived him, I try to run before the truth ruins everything.

But Fu Yan has known exactly who I am all along, and he has no intention of letting class differences—or my spectacular misunderstandings—end our romance.

On Xianyu, I spotted an offer for a 3,888-yuan luxury buffet for just 188.

Half convinced, half suspicious, I placed an order.

The seller told me to wait outside the restaurant the next day.

So I did, like a good girl.

What arrived was a group of impeccably suited high-flyers.

It turned out to be their company outing, with family members allowed.

Apparently, I was family now.

At that point, all I could do was grit my teeth and follow them inside.

I was happily stuffing myself when someone told me we had to take turns toasting the boss.

I raised my glass too and stammered, “M-Mr.

Shih, a toast to you.”

The whole table fell silent.

Someone turned red trying to hold it in.

The boss’s handsome face darkened.

“It’s Shi.”

While staying at my brother’s place, I discovered he was keeping a man prisoner.

Terrified, I fed the man every day.

Then he licked my hand, and I couldn’t take it anymore.

I called my brother on video to demand an explanation.

“Can’t you let your prisoner go?

This is a crime!

You’ve driven him mad!”

My brother, away on business, shrieked.

“Wait.

I moved ages ago.

Didn’t I tell you?”

“Sis, I think you’ve broken into someone else’s home.”

I was so fond of writhing around in the shadows that the System made me a snake spirit.

A snake spirit in Journey to the West.

I stared at Tang Sanzang being lowered into a cooking pot.

Words failed me.

To stay alive, I had no choice but to become his disciple.

Sun Wukong: “Huh?

We’ve already survived fifty-four of the eighty-one trials, and you’re joining us now?”

Me: “Fate works in mysterious ways.”

I’d had a crush on my best friend’s stiff, proper little brother for years.

To look younger, I always wore fresh, barely-there makeup and bright, cheerful outfits whenever I saw Jiang Heng.

He never so much as batted an eye.

Then came the bachelorette party before my best friend’s wedding.

With my hair in big, man-eater waves, a bodycon skirt, black stockings, and red-soled heels, I cut completely loose.

Afterward, I took my hopelessly drunk best friend home.

The door opened.

Jiang Heng and I stared straight at each other.

The sweet-girl act I’d kept up around him for years shattered on the spot.

Feeling guilty, I turned to leave.

But Jiang Heng, always so cool and scrupulously polite, raised a hand to block the doorway.

“It’s late, Qingzhou.

Why don’t you stay the night?”

Ten years after I became Xiaotian, the Celestial Hound, I finally took human form.

As a woman.

Yang Jian went silent.

All three of his eyes blinked for ages.

He still couldn’t work it out.

His best buddy was definitely male.