Comedy

After the college entrance exams, my brother and I got thrown out by our parents.

“I’ve put up with you two long enough.

Go stay with your uncle!”

Uncle was lovely.

He let us run wild in his mansion, though he did seem a little dead inside.

We thought we’d driven him to it.

Then we discovered he was heartbroken: the woman he’d adored for years had chosen someone else.

Looking at our mature, wealthy uncle, with his impossibly perfect looks and that vulnerable older-man appeal, my brother and I couldn’t understand what the other guy had on him.

“Uncle, want to take his place?”

I woke up as the Queen Mother of Heaven.

The moment I arrived, I caught the Seventh Fairy sneaking down to the mortal world.

Naturally, I gave her my blessing.

I even thoughtfully made her a mortal body, took away her magical powers, and escorted her down myself, so she and Dong Yong could be a mortal couple in every sense.

After she left, I gathered every fairy in Heaven to watch a livestream of her life on earth.

Peaches of Immortality and celestial wine were unlimited; daily reflection papers had a three-thousand-character minimum.

Afterward, not a single young fairy yearned for mortal life again.

[World-hopping + no romance + no female rivalry + satisfying power fantasy, with an unbeatable heroine]

After clearing the infinite scenarios, Zhu Yin transferred to a new workplace.

The World-Hopping Department gained a sweet, harmless-looking new employee, and the protagonists of each world found themselves with the most hardcore supporting-role assistant imaginable–one devoted to helping her bosses get exactly what they wanted.

In a CEO world:

The tyrannical CEO roared, “Find her! Dig three feet into every inch of City A if you have to, but bring my wife back!”

Butler Zhu Yin, taking out her equipment: “Boss, which plot of land would you like to start digging up? The damage will be rather extensive, though. The Shen family may not be able to afford it.”

In an entertainment-industry world:

The popular young actress sobbed, “Director Ji says I’m terrible at fight scenes and there’s no killing intent in my eyes. He chewed me out seven times today.”

Assistant Zhu Yin, taking out a scenario card: “Boss, how does a zombie invasion sound? Here’s a free trial pass. No need to thank me.”

…

Later, with a record of zero complaints, Zhu Yin became a legend in the World-Hopping Department.

I hung from the city wall while the rebel leader taunted my husband.

“My lord, choose: your old love or your wife!”

Beside me, Li Yaoyao cried out with righteous resolve, “Sui’an, don’t worry about me!

Storm the city!

Tell the crown prince I’ll marry him in my next life!”

Two arrows whistled through the air.

The rebel holding Li Yaoyao at his mercy fell dead.

I watched in silence as Shen Sui’an and the crown prince came flying toward us.

Both crowded around Li Yaoyao.

Neither noticed that my rope had been cut.

I had been married to Shen Shi’an for eight years, but he still cherished the woman he had never forgotten.

He had grown tired of me, sick of me, finding me dull and vulgar.

When I cooked porridge or simmered soup, I was a woman with no ambition, forever fussing over a stove.

When his beloved washed her hands and made a bowl of soup, she was gentle, considerate, and understanding.

Later, after I had written our divorce agreement, Shen Shi’an traveled all the way to Jiangling to ask me for a bowl of jujube porridge.

I smiled and told him, “We don’t grow jujubes in Jiangling.

I haven’t made it in years.

I’ve quite forgotten how.”

I have a temple in the human world.

Hardly anyone visits, but one girl came to pray three times.

The first time, she offered ten years of her life in exchange for her grandmother’s recovery.

The second time, she raised the offer to twenty.

The third time, she muttered, “Why won’t it work?”

“Because you’ve come to the wrong temple,” I said.

“I bury people.

I don’t save them.”

Unfortunately, she couldn’t hear me.

She still knelt and bowed, three times to her knees and nine times to the ground, then took five yuan from her pocket and put it in the offering box.

Who had lied to her?

I followed her out, back to a cramped, dilapidated alley.

A group of children crowded around her, laughing.

“The idiot’s here!

Come look at the idiot!”

She clutched her sleeves and said quietly, “I’m not an idiot.

“I’m just a little slow to react.”

After a fight with my husband, I went to my boyfriend for comfort.

Then we got caught.

My boyfriend stepped in front of me and told my husband, “The one she doesn’t love is the other man!”

I said, “Keep your voice down!

Is this something to be proud of?”

Ten years after I became Xiaotian, the Celestial Hound, I finally took human form.

As a woman.

Yang Jian went silent.

All three of his eyes blinked for ages.

He still couldn’t work it out.

His best buddy was definitely male.

I’m the number-one player in a horror game, and my clingy online boyfriend is ruining my clear times.

To get rid of him, I sneak into an SSS-ranked instance and send him a photo of my nemesis, the boss, claiming I’ve fallen for someone else.

His reply comes instantly: that is his photo.

Now he’s coming to find me.

I was a lackey working for a crime boss.

My job was to look after his beloved black kingsnake.

Thirty thousand yuan a month, with food and lodging included.

Once I’d saved enough to get married, I quietly ran off—with the snake.

Not long after we got back to my village, it fell ill.

One question to Doupao, and suddenly it all made sense.

But the snake was every bit as picky as its owner.

I searched the whole village before finding it the prettiest little female snake.

Thoughtfully, I placed their tails together.

Just as I was imagining all the baby snakes they’d give me, the black kingsnake turned into my boss.

And clamped a hand around my neck.

“You little troublemaker.

You really have no fear of death, do you?

How should I punish you?”