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I disguised myself as a man and spent twelve years in the barracks as a no-good soldier-only to suddenly learn that I was the Prefect’s true daughter.

The impostor daughter clutched my sleeve, sobbing as she shook it.

“Sister, I know I stole the place that should have been yours. I only beg you not to take away the love Father, Mother, and our brothers have for me.”

What she didn’t know was that I had no interest in stealing her love.

All I wanted was to get my brothers-in-arms some military pay.

I am an NPC in the game City of Desire.

By day, I sell fragrant, freshly baked bread; by night, I find my pleasure in butchering men.

On the night the bakery closed early, a heavy rain was falling.

A man walked in. Beneath his black raincoat was a naked body and a sharp knife.

I took a bite of my toast and bowed in welcome. Then, as his eyes filled with terror, I raised the chainsaw I had been hiding behind my back.

Bang! Ten minutes later, his head exploded inside the oven. As flesh and blood splattered everywhere, I beamed with joy.

“Welcome to City of Desire, Player. I hope you enjoy your game!”

The Prince Consort and I were famously husband and wife in name only.

He lived his life as the Lord Heir, and I lived mine as the Grand Princess.

We resided in separate estates and kept out of each other’s way. Until that reckless little cousin of his entered the capital.

She was a spoiled girl, indulged far beyond measure, relying on the Prince Consort’s protection and affection.

She “accidentally” barged into my study and set a fire that burned an entire room of my cherished memories to ash.

Afterward, she hid behind the Prince Consort, pouting as she complained, “I just couldn’t stand it. She’s already married to you, so why does she still keep a whole room full of portraits of other men?”

Pei Pingjin made excuses for her.

“My cousin was only being overly protective of me. Your Highness, please don’t be angry.”

I nodded. I was the First Princess, standing above tens of thousands. Why should I lower myself to get angry with a little girl?

So as I turned away, I abruptly drew my sword. With a sharp hiss, the blade pierced through the Prince Consort’s palm as he tried to stop it, then cut the little girl’s throat in a single stroke.

If you read a lot of historical romance novels, then I’m sure you’re familiar with this scene: An assassin draws his blade and lunges at the male lead.

At the critical moment, the female lead rushes forward and takes the stab for him.

She collapses into his arms, and he cries her name in panic…

When I transmigrated, this exact scene was unfolding.

You think I was the female lead? Nope.

And of course, I wasn’t the male lead either. I was the assassin.

The night before last, I hooked up with a younger guy, only to find out the next day that he was the precious son my client wanted me to escort.

Before leaving for the airport, the young man turned to his mother and said, “You can rest easy with Auntie Que here. No one would dare mess with me except her. Oh, by the way, I finished all the liquor at home yesterday. Remember to buy some more for Grandpa.”

“You silly child, why did you drink so much?”

“…Too much pressure.”

How do you get a man to spend five million on you with a single sentence?

“Sir, your face bears an omen of disaster.” The man looked at me with utter disdain.

The next second, the Rolls-Royce he had parked by the roadside was hit by a van.

It exploded on the spot.

The whole Immortal Sect was waiting for my archrival and me to perish together, but we secretly got married first.

On the Evil-Slaying Platform, I was ordered to kill Dong Linyuan. The moment the tip of my sword pierced through his heart, a spray of blood simultaneously erupted from my own chest.

The entire Immortal Sect was waiting to see us die together, but they didn’t know that at the stroke of midnight last night, he and I had just formed a Life-Binding Pact in the Ancestor Hall. If even one of us dies today, Yin Zhixiao will be able to ascend to immortality by stepping over the corpses of the entire Immortal Sect.

At exactly midnight, there was a sudden knock on the dormitory door.

I thought it was just the dorm warden doing rounds, but then a cold, mechanical voice rang out in my ear- [Ding-The Zombie invasion has begun. Your first WeChat meme sticker is now your life-saving artifact.]

My three roommates were: an Avatar, Briar, and an Armor Hero.

Trembling, I tapped on my phone… My first meme sticker was my ex-boyfriend’s grinning face.

I was ordered by my master to assassinate Han Zhaoye, the Young Master of the Demonic Sect. Instead, standing beside the broken blade buried in his chest, I lit a Life Lamp to sustain his ebbing life. From that moment on, if he was injured, I spat blood; if he sought death, I was the one driven mad. Now, the entire Immortal Sect says he and I should become Dao Companions. But what they don’t know is that fourteen years ago, in the great fire of Floating White City, our lives had already been bound together by another’s hand.

Liu Ye always felt that he was a good person-specifically, a paragon of filial piety. When it came to his mother, he was exceptionally devoted.

The Joyous Funeral Fiend: Bullshit!

Toward his father, he was kind and amiable.

The Water Fiend: *Sob, sob*… Don’t come any closer! If you take one more step, I’ll die right in front of you!

To his friends, he was the type who would take a bullet for them.

Other Fiends: You mean you’d put two bullets in us!

In short, Liu Ye felt that he was a happy man.

The Fiends: Isn’t your happiness just the history of our blood and tears?